Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much did you ‘try’ to conceive

106 replies

Ooophelia · 06/07/2023 21:24

Having decided we want to have a baby and after six months or so of not much happening, I’ve decided to take action and started tracking my cycles properly, using OPKs and temping.

Although DH is on board with this he seems pretty surprised how planned/unromantic it all is. I’ve since spent a bit of time educating him on how womens cycles work and how small the fertile window actually is and it feels like the idea of spontaneously dtd and then getting pregnant is quite far from reality! Just logistically since we started cycle tracking it’s required a bit of planning to make sure we’re in the same place at the right time. It’s got us wondering for how many couples does it just happen, and for how many does ttc require a bit more planning?

OP posts:
Mrsmch123 · 06/07/2023 22:16

Took us 5 long years and an ivf round. Turns out my oh has a low sperm count.

Motherofkittens28 · 06/07/2023 22:22

2 years, 2 failed ivf rounds and was told I'd never conceive with my own eggs because of my age. Naturally pregnant with my DS 3 months later while we were taking a break from ivf

SquashPenguin · 06/07/2023 22:23

5.5 years, 4 ivf cycles and no baby. I guess I’m one of the unlucky ones.

MeowOnceForOffended · 06/07/2023 22:35

@SquashPenguin Flowers

TenoringBehind · 06/07/2023 22:35

8 years for dc1. 2 years of that was ovulation sticks, obsessing over temperatures, etc. Was just about to start IVF when I got pregnant,

dc2 conceived first month of trying
also 1 miscarriage after that when I was making no effort to conceive

hiccup345 · 06/07/2023 22:39

3 months with DS1. 4 months with DS2. Not really tracking but made sure we DTD around ovulation time. We're very fortunate.

Mamai90 · 06/07/2023 22:39

When we started TTC we only did all the planning for 3 months and then through it out the window as it was too stressful. Failed IVF and 8 years without a baby we decided to try naturally again when I was 38, 2 months later I was pregnant (we used the opks etc but I'm pretty sure when I ovulate so we didn't really need them). DD is 19 months now and decided to try for another it took 2 months again, we didn't use OPKs but we did have sex on my most fertile days.

Mamai90 · 06/07/2023 22:40

*threw

Curiosity101 · 06/07/2023 22:41

2nd cycle for my first and 1st cycle for my second. But generally we just aimed for every other day from my period finishing until a few days after ovulation.

I tracked when I ovulated so I'd know when to do a pregnancy test. But didn't use it to schedule DTD.

sunshineandshowers40 · 06/07/2023 22:43

We were quite structured once we decided we wanted a baby but luckily got pregnant quickly (DC1 on honeymoon, DC2 was still breastfeeding, DC3 three months).

Squidlette · 06/07/2023 22:46

Came off the pill and pregnant 1st go with dc1.
Dc2 I used opk and temp tracking and it took about 4 joyless months. I was kind of playing at wanting a baby first time round, but second time it was all consuming and gave me the tiniest inkling of what so many other women must have to go through.

WesterChick · 06/07/2023 22:51

With accidental child, we had sex once that month Blush

Previous kids around 2-4 months. Got my tubes tied after the accidental one.

Eggsley · 06/07/2023 22:53

DC1, came off the pill and got pregnant straight away. Had bought an ovulation kit but didn't use it. DC2 took a year, I used ovulation sticks from about month 4, cut out caffeine and alcohol, got to month 12 (December) and thought sod it, I'm going to eat and drink what I want, not track anything and I'll make a doctor's appointment after Christmas to see if there's any problem. Then got a positive test on the morning I was going to ring the doctors.

GrandTheftWalrus · 06/07/2023 22:56

With my ex there was tests, opks etc and it never happened.

With my now dh it happened the 1st month he moved in with me, with my miscarriage it was just if it happens it happens. Then my 2nd it happened quickly 2 months after the miscarriage.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 06/07/2023 22:58

First month of trying for both of my pregnancies - but had been off the pill and taking folic acid/vitamins for about 3 months before stopping using protection

Caramelsmadfuzzytail · 06/07/2023 23:01

Twice for both of my dc's. My 1st dc was timed to be around 14th day of my cycle. Dc2 was random

ManAboutTown · 06/07/2023 23:01

Took about 4 months both times - no planning around cycles but a lot of enjoyable sex

FiddleLeaf · 06/07/2023 23:01

We tried for 18 months before switching to IVF. I tracked & OH knew. He was interested in that side of things but I wouldn’t say IT’S TONIGHT to keep romance alive & pressure on him as low as possible!

AssertiveGertrude · 06/07/2023 23:02

i have irregular periods so we were about 11 months trying so we dtd daily and it worked & next thing I knew I was pregnant straight away again with dc2 a few months after dc1 (like 22 weeks)

Keha · 06/07/2023 23:08

First time, didn't do OPKs but could make a rough guess at when I would ovulate based on period and other symptoms, second time fully tracked from the get go. Got pregnant quite quickly both times, so I know I'm lucky. I think we found it reasonably fun rather than a chore but that is probably because it only took a few months. I can imagine some people (men and women) are quite surprised to realise it's quite a brief window when at school you are basically told you'll get pregnant if you do as much as look at a penis.

namechanged241 · 06/07/2023 23:09

Didn't "try" for either but realise very lucky for that to happen

elliejjtiny · 06/07/2023 23:09

Dc1 we did it "properly" with the OPK's, temp taking etc. Dc2 we were vaguely trying, as in we'd stopped using condoms but we thought it would take ages like it did with dc1 so we started trying before we were ready to get pregnant and decided we would start with the obsessive charting after a year or so. I got pregnant on month 1. Dc3 we started casually ttc in the january, chemical pregnancy in April and pregnant with dc3 in the May. Dc4 I was on the pill, dc5 I was on the pill, using condoms and dh had an appointment to have a vasectomy!

CaptainWarbeck · 06/07/2023 23:11

DC1 - had implanon removed, conceived two weeks later. Did OPKs, temp tracking etc so knew early on I was pregnant.

DC2 - did OPKs and daily temperatures again, conceived first month again.

Peony654 · 06/07/2023 23:12

A few months without tracking and then first month using OPKs got a positive! But I didn’t go on about the testing to DH, I did tell him there was only a short window - wanted to keep some romance.

FeelingwearyFeeelingsmall · 06/07/2023 23:12

We tried twice. I tracked my cycle and we had sex twice over the appropriate 3 days both times. Fell first month both times. I couldn't believe how lucky we were.