To ask how much did you ‘try’ to conceive

[Ooophelia]

Having decided we want to have a baby and after six months or so of not much happening, I’ve decided to take action and started tracking my cycles properly, using OPKs and temping.

Although DH is on board with this he seems pretty surprised how planned/unromantic it all is. I’ve since spent a bit of time educating him on how womens cycles work and how small the fertile window actually is and it feels like the idea of spontaneously dtd and then getting pregnant is quite far from reality! Just logistically since we started cycle tracking it’s required a bit of planning to make sure we’re in the same place at the right time. It’s got us wondering for how many couples does it just happen, and for how many does ttc require a bit more planning?

I’ve had unprotected sex twice and have two DC. But I don’t think that’s normal. I have been very lucky.

2 years then 1 year

Did ovulation tests and temp charting for all three of mine, definitely v unromantic. Learnt pretty quickly that I ovulate very late in my cycle so I do think it helped me conceive as we’d have stopped DTD too soon within the cycle had I not known I think.

Very lucky, month 1 for both.

9 months of ovulation sticks, timing, good diet, no caffeine for my first. Booked doctors for infertility check up and ended up using that appointment to check if a test was positive (around 11 months after due to NHS wait)
Second within three months but DH actually understood it wouldn't 'just happen' this time and actually performed three days over ovulation.

I don't think men get that it can be a little trickier than an occasional shag without protection. DH was actively surly about non spontaneous, on demand sex the first time which I don't think helped at all. Yes some people can just look at eachother but enough people struggle or need IVF you can't assume you'll be the lucky one. Look up the NHS advice on IVF and make sure you are following their age appropriate timescales, as appointments and the process can take years and years and by the time you apply things like low ovarian reserve can mean that you don't even qualify anyway. Trust me. I've a friend who has found out the hard way and it's brutal, all because her husband coasted along. Now if successful she can't even access the NHS or use her own egg. IVF is wrecking havoc on her mental health and job and I can't help but be bitter at her oh for lack of forward planning.

Didn’t try, just stopped trying to prevent. Both DC conceived first cycle.

I didn’t tell DH when I was fertile, I just made sure we did it at the right time. If he was going to be working away I’d make sure we got one in just before he went away.
Took me 9 months for the first, and nearly 2 years for the second.

Both times happened straight away. DH is military and away all week so I'm really glad as he went away for 6 months shortly after.

Took 3 months first time. Second time just had sex the once in the whole month. 5 miscarriages in between

Is this a weird euphemism for not using condoms...?

U could just download the flo app or similar, where u put in your period dates and it works out ur ovulation times and best days to have sex. U don't need to involve partner too much just make sure he's around to have sex in the times u need him.

Stopped taking the pill in May, early miscarriage in July, positive test start of September for first. No 2 has just not happened, no real reason why just no baby after 10 years before we've decided we are to old and gone back to using contraception.

I have stopped telling DH when it’s the right time but had a delivery of OPKs today so he knows I’m still doing it. Although I have a period each month my cycle seems to vary from 26 - 34 days, so it’s helpful to know the best time especially as DH or I sometimes work away from each other.

Didn't try at all but my cycle is like clockwork. Just had sex around ovulation & it worked first time.

Dd1 took 3 years, at first we were having sex daily for a few months then it waned a bit, I half heartedly worked out when I should be ovulating but didn't test.

I thought it just wasn't going to happen for us and decided to lose weight, I did the Cambridge diet and lost 4 stones in just over 3 months and was pregnant the month after. I'm not sure if it was coincidental or the weight loss but I know we only had sex once that month.

With dd2 I feel pregnant the first month.

DC1 was unplanned.

DC2 we tried using OPKs and various other tracking and strategies, for 15 months, and no result Stopped all the tracking and finally got pregnant after 18m total.

DC3 we did tracking but just couldn't manage to always time it right with a toddler waking etc. Wasn't really trying much by the end, it took 8m.

I found it better if I was tracking but not keeping DH informed.

I did get told off for not taking folic acid but obviously I didn't expect it to happen straightaway.

3 months both times.

Oh wow! I was told I had pcos so I might as well come off birth control, I'd never conceive naturally. I had 2 kids 16mo apart!!!!

Two and a half years plus a failed IVF cycle for DC1.

2nd DC - nearly 7 years and still counting. 8 failed IVF transfers

Didn’t look into cycles too much just had lots more sex

5 months first time, in the first 4 we just had sex every few days as usual, no OPK though I was aware of the signs of ovulation I was having. Then I got serious and insisted on every day sex from the day my period stopped to almost when I thought the next was due to be sure we'd not miss ovulation and it worked. DH a little unsure about the planned lack of romanticness but went along with it as was starting to get concerned about the lack of positive result so far.
Second time 1 month with every day sex every day of the month possible and again it worked.

The best thing to do is just have sex every other day, that way you catch ovulation without having to plan and track

if after a year of this week help
it will become a chore if the sole focus becomes conception rather than just sex

I’m one of the ones it just happened for. We were cavalier with contraception for our first, planned the second, for the third see the first. I’ve never tried to get pregnant, just not tried hard enough not to.

Same as others have posted, we were advised by consultants to ditch the tracking and go for it every other day - tried many things and that worked, and both times conceived no where near where in my cycle I would have expected and I know many others it’s been the same for.