To hate how mums always have to sacrifice their career...

[rumun88]

I have 2 kids .. one 18 month old and a 6 year old. I work in a cafe for an estate, one week day and one weekend day and there's no flexibility in that I have to do a weekend day.

I've been offered a job as a GP receptionist and I would love to take it. But it's only £10.42 an hour and with it being weekdays we would need to pay childcare. Basically with the summer hols coming up, childcare for both kids would cost more than my wage. DH will cover it, but part of me is thinking what's the point when it means I'm not bringing any money to the pot technically. I'd also have to have both kids in different childcare settings which are opposite side of town by 7.30am. In my current job he works from home the 1 week day and is home the weekend day so no childcare.

So I have the choice, take the new job and get my weekends back but don't exactly earn, keep my current job and work every single weekend.. or be a SAHM.

Please help. I could cry! I was a dental nurse before kids and again childcare was an issue. We have no family support.

What would you do?

Are you sure it isn’t you who is confused? What do you think sexism means?

If you think a man should financially provide because he’s a man (“what does he expect?”) then I’d love to hear how it isn’t sexism.

Sexism (to me) is about inequality of opportunity. It's not about a weird desperation to pretend men and women have to be the same, in every aspect or every situation.

I suppose it's 'sexist' that women give birth? I suppose it's sexist that women have different bodies?

I'm not sure that you have a great grasp on what sexism or feminism are tbh.

Giving birth and having different bodies are biological reality and I've never seen any feminist deny that.

But it's quite a jump from "women are the only sex to give birth" to "women need to be protected and supported by men throughout their lives".

No. Men can’t give birth, that’s biology.

Women can provide for themselves financially. Expecting men to do it for them is sexist.

No, but it is sexist if women are then disadvantaged because of this.
An expectation that women should taken on the bulk of childcare, sacrifice their career and rely on men to provide absolutely is sexist.

I never said women need to be supported by men all their lives. That's quite a stretch. But nevertheless, I think a man should be prepared to at least support a wife and child while she's breastfeeding and adjusting to being a mum. If we can't even expect that of men, why bother?

Is it sexist that all the scaffolders on my roof today are men? And all the builders? What about the men who delivered the furniture? Should I complain about this, or get up in the roof with them like a lunatic to prove a point?

I suppose in Ukraine they should have evacuated all the men and kept all the women over 18 to fight the Russians.

It's not as if I as wife don't contribute to the marriage. I contribute in a different way

In a marriage a man and a women are equal in terms of respect. But have different roles.

Though I feel this has been a big digression from the subject at hand.

Sexism plays a part in why some careers generally are more ‘male’ or ‘female’, of course it does.

It isn’t a coincidence that most teachers, especially early years are women and it also isn’t a coincidence that more men are in STEM roles.

What does that have to do with working 18 months down the line?

No one is suggesting women need to work a
week after giving birth, in fact they could take 12 months maternity plus 2 months annual leave.

After that the fact that they had a baby shouldn’t be any more relevant to the mother than the father.

Not my marriage.

Do they though? I can’t think of a single difference between my role in my marriage and my husband’s role in our marriage.
Do enlighten me?

Same here.

Not in my marriage.

Sexism plays a part in why some careers generally are more ‘male’ or ‘female’, of course it does.

Exactly! That was a ridiculous example to use to try and say sexism doesn't exist 😂

@SouthLondonMum22 It isn’t a coincidence that most teachers, especially early years are women and it also isn’t a coincidence that more men are in STEM roles

Although you aren’t wrong this is probably a terrible example to these particular posters who will no doubt think men aren’t made to teach young children and are just better at STEM. 😂 Jesus wept.

I never sacrificed my career op.

My dc are teens and adult ages now and I have a successful business that I've worked at my whole life.

I paid childminder fees and spent sleepless nights with dc and then busy days working and it was absolutely hard work but I'm so bloody glad I stuck at it and did it or I wouldn't be here now.

I also vowed I would never put myself in a precarious position where I relied on anyone else financially in case the shot ever hit the fan.

I have not RTFT but it's such a cliche to say that mums "always" have to sacrifice their careers. I took precisely three months out of my career to have my son. I thereby kept my pension in a great state and did not lose out of career progression and building my business. My DH did sacrifice his career, as it made much better economic sense for him to do so. Which one of us was which sex did not come into the calculations.

But it isn’t sexist at all of course. 🙄😂

It’s just nature! Your little lady pee brain wouldn’t understand.

Exactly. Human biology and evolution.

Men and women are different.

You don’t appear to understand sexism or sarcasm.

Ok you got me there