Falling out over concert logistics

[RightWhereTheSpiritMeetsTheBones]

My childhood best friend moved across the world 3 years ago. Found out that there’d be a concert held where she is, and managed to snag 4 tickets for it. One for me, one for her, and another 2 for a friend and her boyfriend who wanted to get tickets too.

The vague plan was always for me to stay with my friend at her studio apartment and for the other friend and her boyfriend to get a hotel. We got tickets together but we’re not necessarily going together IYSWIM.

After seeing hotel prices though friend thinks they should stay with us!! Obviously that’s not going to happen especially since friend will not want strangers living in her apartment for a week and I’m not going to put her in the difficult position of being the ‘bad guy’.

Actually not even that chuffed to hand tickets over—they haven’t even paid—to friend and the boyfriend after how rude they’ve been about the whole thing but have accepted that I did promise them I’d get tickets for them.

AIBU to not be more accommodating to friend and boyfriend?

Are your two friends friends with each other as well? I’d leave them to it tbh

I don't understand the post. If the tickets haven't been paid for they belong to the person that paid for them. I would sell them on and sod them.

So your childhood friend has never met your other two friends she got the tickets for?

The friend and her boyfriend are cheeky fuckers to expect to stay at a random persons house when that wasn't the plan.

Definitely don't give them the tickets until you have the cash.

Is it Taylor?

Three of you from the UK are flying to Australia for a gig and want to crash with your friend who lives there? Surely your not going just for the gig and will be staying for a week or two? Just get an apartment together surely

No. I helped friend and the boyfriend buy tickets because they wanted to go. It was never meant to be a group trip and I don’t even know the boyfriend tbh.

Surely it's entirely up to your friend as to whether the other 2 can stay at her place? Nothing to do with you.

And you hand the tickets over when they pay for them. Easy.

YANBU. And don’t give them the tickets until you have the cash.

This.

Was planning a trip to see my friend anyway it’s just what we do where she stays at mine when she comes here and vice versa. The issue is that I was never planning to go ‘together’ with friend and the boyfriend!

Just send her a message saying “just checking in about the concert. I know accommodation in …. can be expensive and you can’t stay at so and so’s so do you still want the tickets otherwise I can sell them to someone else. If you do want them send me £x by Sunday otherwise I’ll put them out on Facebook”

Then if you haven’t had the cash start asking around to sell them elsewhere

Why did they need your help to buy the tickets? It's surely not such a complicated transaction is it?

They definitely sound like CFs.

Maybe they haven't yet paid for the tickets because they intend to back out if you don't also lay on the free accommodation. Have they bought plane tickets yet? If so , who paid?

Yanbu but I think it was a crazy idea in the first place- if someone told me they had gotten me tickets to a concert in another country my first thought would be it was a trip with the lot of us, I can see why there’s disagreements

There is no dilemma here.

Them: 'Hotels are really expensive. Can my boyfriend and I stay with you and your friend for a week?'

You: 'Sorry, unfortunately that's not possible. It's only a studio apartment and Friend doesn't know you, so staying at hers wouldn't be practical at all.'

I don't see what the problem is.

Laugh at your friend’s suggestion that you all stay in your Oz friend’s tiny studio apartment.
’I’d warn you you’d have to sleep in the bath but there isn’t one. More like you’d have to sleep standing up in her wardrobe or underneath her bed. - look there just physically isn’t room, if you want to come you need to find a hotel. I can always sell your tickets on if you don’t want to stay in a hotel and would rather do something else with your time in Australia’

If I was you I would give your friend a deadline for paying you for the tickets, so that you have a chance to resell them if she backs out.

Have a great time with your other friend at the concert.

Sounds like your friend and her boyfriend need to pack a tent

I got it in the presale with a particular card. There’s a ticket limit of 4 so was in a group chat with a few of us where whoever got ‘in’ bought tickets for whoever else before it was sold out.

Not yet. Was only going to buy plane/hotel etc after we bought the concerts tickets cause it wasn’t guaranteed we’d get any.

So just tell them to transfer you the money for the tickets

Why is everyone suggesting you offer to sell the tickets on?! They should've paid for them immediately

It's normal to help people get tickets to sell out events - ignore anyone questioning that fact as they're clearly clueless.

It should be easy though - you say 'sorry friend says you can't stay' or 'sorry I don't feel comfortable asking friend to share her studio - it isn't practical' and ask them to send you the money by XYZ date. If they don't pay then you can return the tickets or sell them on.

Tell them to poke it and sell on the two tickets. Sounds like it's going to be a problem before the trip has even started. Take it as a sign.

It wasn’t a group trip situation in the first place. Most were only planning to go with one other person especially for Australia/Singapore/Poland so since the ticket limit was 4 we asked around the larger friend group (not all of us are close since it’s been 10++ years since we went to school together) so whoever got ‘in’ could buy for another 2 people.

Just go back to friend with boyfriend. "Can you clarify that you definitely want the tickets, given your issues with accommodation? If so, please send me £x amount so that I can transfer them to you."
Nothing else needs to be said.either the money arrives or it doesn't.

This is one of those simple ‘no is a complete sentence’ situations. Sorry no you won’t be able to stay with my friend, hope you’re able to sort something else out or are able to sell your tickets on once you’ve paid me, here’s my bank details so that you can transfer the money for the tickets you asked me to buy on your behalf, by the end of the week. Cheers!