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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be rude to this woman in an art gallery

391 replies

hengelian · 05/07/2023 22:22

I was in an exhibition in a large London gallery today, totally engrossed in the art works. I was staring at a painting and a woman interrupted me to ask me to take a photo of her in front of it.

I did it but I was quite off with her about it and probably a bit rude (said 'umm.. ok', took one photo and walked away, didn't ask her if it was OK etc).

I find it really rude that she interrupted me in an art gallery - to me this is like being interrupted in the middle of a movie at the cinema. I was experiencing a whole thought process which she dragged me out of so she could have a photo of a work she didn't even properly look at.

Art galleries aren't there for photos, they are there for you to look and experience.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Quiverer · 06/07/2023 09:02

hengelian · 06/07/2023 08:19

If that's the case I should have been left to appreciate it how I wanted to. I was interrupted whilst deep in thought and I couldn't get back to that again afterwards.

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But you didn't try to get back to it , did you? You walked off straight away. It doesn't say much for your depth of thinking or levels of appreciation, to be honest.

willWillSmithsmith · 06/07/2023 09:03

KrisAkabusi · 05/07/2023 23:12

You precious snob!

OP is a real, authentic art appreciator not just some tourist riff raff on a day out. She feels the art more deeply than most and must not be interrupted from her arty reverie. I hope others in the gallery understood this and sensed her deep connection to the art, giving her the space and quiet she so obviously deserved. Art is exclusive, not for the common masses. Personally I think galleries should make you take an entrance test before allowing you in just to make sure you’re a genuine art snob 🙄

2pence · 06/07/2023 09:04

She was doing art wrong! Clearly!

ErrolTheDragon · 06/07/2023 09:07

Quiverer · 06/07/2023 09:01

OP, I don't understand how you think you can insist that you aren't interrupted whilst looking at a painting. It's simply not comparable to watching a film where there's a general understanding that, for the period of time the film is on, everyone there needs to be able to see and hear it without interruption. In an art gallery, whilst you stand there lost in thought anyone is entitled to come in and, for instance, stand close to the painting to look at details, read the information about it etc; people may come and start talking to each other about the painting in your hearing; children might walk in front of you. You have to learn to adapt to that, and if you can adapt to that, you can adapt to 30 seconds' interruption while you take a photo.

But those are accidental disturbances, not deliberate interruptions.

I'm not surprised you were irritated, OP.

Tbh I'm surprised photography is allowed in galleries, if you want to look at an image of a painting on a screen, many are available online.

willWillSmithsmith · 06/07/2023 09:08

OrTheBearsWillGetYou · 06/07/2023 08:47

Someone’s on a wind up…

Nobody could be this pretentious.

Well it’s a rather up-market wind up at least. OP could have been equally annoyed at being interrupted whilst studying the quality of the carrots on a market stall but chose an art gallery instead. 😁

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 06/07/2023 09:13

hengelian · 06/07/2023 08:19

If that's the case I should have been left to appreciate it how I wanted to. I was interrupted whilst deep in thought and I couldn't get back to that again afterwards.

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My point was about the purpose of galleries, or, as per the pp to whom I was replying, what they are for.
Whether or not it's OK to interact with someone else as they use they gallery in their preferred way is a different matter completely.

But as you're in a busy public place, it's hardly unexpected that others will attempt to interact with you, or even accidentally disturb you, at some point.

Fightyouforthatpie · 06/07/2023 09:13

OP - have you ever visited the Sistine Chapel?

OrTheBearsWillGetYou · 06/07/2023 09:14

willWillSmithsmith · 06/07/2023 09:08

Well it’s a rather up-market wind up at least. OP could have been equally annoyed at being interrupted whilst studying the quality of the carrots on a market stall but chose an art gallery instead. 😁

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True. It’s at least posh leg-pulling. Very edifying.

The (few) supportive posts remind me of the art critics portrayed in that Tony Hancock film about a hopeless artist who becomes a celebrity.

willWillSmithsmith · 06/07/2023 09:16

OrTheBearsWillGetYou · 06/07/2023 09:14

True. It’s at least posh leg-pulling. Very edifying.

The (few) supportive posts remind me of the art critics portrayed in that Tony Hancock film about a hopeless artist who becomes a celebrity.

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I’ve seen that film! It does have a vibe of that about it. 😁

Echio · 06/07/2023 09:17

@TeenLifeMum the 'shock' was that the whole throng of 100s were all collectively spending much longer with their back to the painting or looking at their phones with the photos they've just taken then at the painting.

The whole thing is bonkers - there's loads of masterpieces in that room but only one everyone bothers to look at.

Tongue in cheek postmodern like, here's the evidence, this is from the side of the ML. How many in that front row are actually looking at the painting?

To be rude to this woman in an art gallery
viques · 06/07/2023 09:18

Maybe it was her polite way of asking you to move away from the painting you had been blocking for everyone else totally engrossed in for twenty minutes…….

In Florence I stood behind a man who was making an actual video of The Birth Of Venus, he was there for about five minutes, I think he thought she was going to step off the shell and ravish him . I wanted to say you will get the same effect with a postcard from the shop, but didn’t. Clearly I should have asked him to take a photo of me instead.

DancinOnTheCeiling · 06/07/2023 09:19

Thanks @Maireas

Libraryloiterer · 06/07/2023 09:22

If you'd have been alive in 1874 you'd likely have been one of the types who thought that the crowds of hoi polloi queueing to see Elizabeth Thompson's The Roll Call was a gauche development in art appreciation. A police officer even had to be installed to keep the plebs back, what with their ghastly pointing and chattering!

The way people enjoy stuff evolves. Yes this person was vaguely rude interrupting you but that's not at the heart of your issue, you were just gagging to tell us about the photo, if she had interrupted you to ask where the loos were I guarantee you wouldn't have posted.

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 06/07/2023 09:25

It’s interesting how exercised some people are getting about someone looking at an artwork and having a thought process.

The only "exercised" (if that's really what you mean) person on here is the OP.
But she's posted asking for opinions on her behaviour and she's getting them. Most are merely putting forward another view, others amused. No one is particularly perturbed by this!

TallulahBetty · 06/07/2023 09:29

Duvetdweller · 05/07/2023 22:27

Were you screaming at it?

Damn, you beat me to it 😂

bruffin · 06/07/2023 09:33

Growlybear83 · 05/07/2023 22:49

I think you're both being unreasonable - the other woman for wanting a photo of herself in front of a painting and you for being so intense and reacting rudely.

Its really annoying when there are queues of people lining up for photo ops and they really not interested in the picture itself.
Berlin wall was awful for this. Harry Potter this bloke needed to pose in front of every exhibit .

BackAgainstWall · 06/07/2023 09:36

Are you usually inflexible and selfish?

DrSbaitso · 06/07/2023 09:37

bruffin · 06/07/2023 09:33

Its really annoying when there are queues of people lining up for photo ops and they really not interested in the picture itself.
Berlin wall was awful for this. Harry Potter this bloke needed to pose in front of every exhibit .

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How do you know they're not interested in the object itself?

Is it more acceptable if every person who queues up signs a pledge of authentic thought first?

bruffin · 06/07/2023 09:40

DrSbaitso · 06/07/2023 09:37

How do you know they're not interested in the object itself?

Is it more acceptable if every person who queues up signs a pledge of authentic thought first?

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Because they dont even look at it. If they really were interested they wouldnt need to be in the picture blocking out half of the picture/object

Wheresthebeach · 06/07/2023 09:41

Everyone taking endless pics of paintings in art galleries is incredibly annoying - arms waving around blocks the view of others. She should have asked another person who had their phone out to do it, at least they'd had been kindred spirits!

EhrlicheFrau · 06/07/2023 09:42

Sorry, no. - that would have been my response.

DrSbaitso · 06/07/2023 09:47

bruffin · 06/07/2023 09:40

Because they dont even look at it. If they really were interested they wouldnt need to be in the picture blocking out half of the picture/object

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Why are you studying how long they look at it? Shouldn't you be looking at it?

Why shouldn't they be in the picture if it's a record of the time they saw it? They can get perfect pics of the art itself online.

LolaSmiles · 06/07/2023 09:48

There’s an awful lot of inverse snobbery on here. It’s interesting how exercised some people are getting about someone looking at an artwork and having a thought process
I don't think it's appreciating art and thinking about it that's prompting the responses.
It's the pretentious drivel accompanying a complete non-event that's getting mildly mocked.

There's probably lots of people out there who are very knowledgeable about art and they'd not be this wound up about this.

MostlyBlueberryFlavoured · 06/07/2023 09:49

You're a rude and unpleasant person and I feel sorry for the paintings.

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 06/07/2023 09:50

How pretentious of you.