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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be rude to this woman in an art gallery

391 replies

hengelian · 05/07/2023 22:22

I was in an exhibition in a large London gallery today, totally engrossed in the art works. I was staring at a painting and a woman interrupted me to ask me to take a photo of her in front of it.

I did it but I was quite off with her about it and probably a bit rude (said 'umm.. ok', took one photo and walked away, didn't ask her if it was OK etc).

I find it really rude that she interrupted me in an art gallery - to me this is like being interrupted in the middle of a movie at the cinema. I was experiencing a whole thought process which she dragged me out of so she could have a photo of a work she didn't even properly look at.

Art galleries aren't there for photos, they are there for you to look and experience.

AIBU?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/07/2023 08:08

CandyLeBonBon · 05/07/2023 22:28

This was the comment I was waiting for!

Show quote history

Yes, me too, but strangely I don’t think the Op is unreasonable.

I do think art is for appreciating and it could be v annoying to be interrupted for a selfie

milkydress · 06/07/2023 08:08

Sorry OP but you sound like your bonkers

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/07/2023 08:08

Sorry not a selfie, a photo

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 06/07/2023 08:09

You weren't rude, and art galleries are not for posing in front of paintings.

Says who? Art galleries are for appreciating art however you want to.

Pluvia · 06/07/2023 08:14

I'm with you. OP. Art galleries are for looking at art, not taking trophy photos.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/07/2023 08:15

midgetastic · 06/07/2023 08:06

Agree everyone can look in their own way and everyone should be respectful of others approachs - which the interrupter wasn't

Yes I agree

I think I just don’t like being disturbed generally though

Original poster
hengelian · 06/07/2023 08:19

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 06/07/2023 08:09

You weren't rude, and art galleries are not for posing in front of paintings.

Says who? Art galleries are for appreciating art however you want to.

If that's the case I should have been left to appreciate it how I wanted to. I was interrupted whilst deep in thought and I couldn't get back to that again afterwards.

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 06/07/2023 08:20

hengelian · 06/07/2023 08:19

If that's the case I should have been left to appreciate it how I wanted to. I was interrupted whilst deep in thought and I couldn't get back to that again afterwards.

Show quote history

Thoughts and prayers.

Welcome to public spaces.

xsquared · 06/07/2023 08:24

Who says she didn't appreciate the art and took time to look at it though?

I love art, and do take time looking at paintings and reading the labels, but if you saw my Instagram, you would have probably thought I was just there to take photos.

I want to capture memories of my visit, and look back onwhat I did years ago.

noglow · 06/07/2023 08:25

hengelian · 06/07/2023 08:19

If that's the case I should have been left to appreciate it how I wanted to. I was interrupted whilst deep in thought and I couldn't get back to that again afterwards.

Show quote history

Arrange a private viewing

waterlego · 06/07/2023 08:27

@Echio, you said that you have taken half a dozen selfies in front of artworks but were annoyed with others doing the same in front of the Mona Lisa. What am I missing?!

Museya15 · 06/07/2023 08:30

You sound like a nightmare.

ClairDeLaLune · 06/07/2023 08:31

Was it like this OP?

To be rude to this woman in an art gallery
LookItsMeAgain · 06/07/2023 08:36

You say art gallery but it really was the Sistine Chapel you were admiring, right?

Peony654 · 06/07/2023 08:39

I’m with you - I hate this culture of photographing everything and particularly in galleries. It should be banned in all galleries

MarkWithaC · 06/07/2023 08:40

There’s an awful lot of inverse snobbery on here. It’s interesting how exercised some people are getting about someone looking at an artwork and having a thought process.

I was asked to take a pic for someone in a gallery recently, but I was very obviously not looking at the work; I was standing away from the paintings and putting my water bottle back in my bag. So I was happy to oblige. But I’d be mildly annoyed if I was looking at/thinking about/immersed in a work and someone asked me to take a picture. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

RosesAndHellebores · 06/07/2023 08:43

I think you were both a bit rude. You lost the moral high ground.

I recently went to the Rossetti Exhibition which was both busy and full of rather competitive literary/arty types spouting a little too loudly. Nobody was taking pictures but once or twice whilst I was reading about a painting someone cut in front of me. I thought that was rude.

nettie434 · 06/07/2023 08:44

I was so pleased when I saw the title of this thread as art galleries can often be irritating places - e.g. people at blockbuster exhibitions who stand for ages in front of a particular painting when there are huge crowds of other people who want to see the painting too. I've never had anyone ask to take a photo of them in front of a painting though.

Realistically, while I do get irritated with lotsof things in galleries, like people who talk pretentiously in loud voices in front of paintings (even though I will often make a joky comment to a friend that might be equally irritating to someone else) or those silly tiny cards showing the name of the painting and where it's from, galleries do need visitors to survive, I'd have taken the photo for the woman, recognising that it was something important to her. She couldn't have asked an attendant as I don't think they would be allowed to do that sort of thing. In your position, I'd try to go at less busy times (not always possible at the big exhibitions I know).

OrTheBearsWillGetYou · 06/07/2023 08:47

Someone’s on a wind up…

Nobody could be this pretentious.

aSofaNearYou · 06/07/2023 08:51

YABU. It is not an audio experience that moves on meaning you'll "miss bits" like the cinema so it's simply not the same. There is no reason for anyone to jump to the conclusion that you view it as similar and don't want to be disturbed. You're just standing in a room looking at things, which is hardly off limits for interaction. Some might even view it as an opportunity for socialising- I'm pretty sure they used to in the past. You can't go through life being offended people don't jump to the conclusion you're doing something that is not an established tradition.

Your OP comes across as a bit snobby.

willWillSmithsmith · 06/07/2023 08:52

Do you always take yourself this seriously? The painting’s not going anywhere so you haven’t missed anything by stopping to take a photo. You sound rather precious.

TeenLifeMum · 06/07/2023 08:54

It’s fine not to want to take a picture but you don’t need to be pretentious about it. You just say sorry I’m just taking a moment.

Quiverer · 06/07/2023 08:55

The Mona Lisa thing is fascinating. I always think the selfie thing is a bit like those old portraits where they included seemingly random objects (eg pineapple) which convey a message about the subject. Only this time the object is the painting of the Mona Lisa. The message? I think it's I'm young, rich and in Paris.

Why does visiting the Louvre signal that you are rich?

Cheeseandlobster · 06/07/2023 08:56

Spirallingdownwards · 05/07/2023 22:28

Yes rude and a bit pretentious

This is exactly what I came on to say. Maybe she thought you were hogging that particular piece with all your deep thinking

Quiverer · 06/07/2023 09:01

OP, I don't understand how you think you can insist that you aren't interrupted whilst looking at a painting. It's simply not comparable to watching a film where there's a general understanding that, for the period of time the film is on, everyone there needs to be able to see and hear it without interruption. In an art gallery, whilst you stand there lost in thought anyone is entitled to come in and, for instance, stand close to the painting to look at details, read the information about it etc; people may come and start talking to each other about the painting in your hearing; children might walk in front of you. You have to learn to adapt to that, and if you can adapt to that, you can adapt to 30 seconds' interruption while you take a photo.