Page 16 | To be rude to this woman in an art gallery

zingally · 08/07/2023 13:51

Don't be so precious.

Pars78 · 08/07/2023 14:01

Echio · 05/07/2023 22:45

YABU - I've worked in galleries the last 10 years.

Your way of experiencing an artwork is just one of many, and is not the 'right' way. There's no such thing. There's whole SWATHES of theory that say viewing in the way you describe is symptomatic of the worst aspects of capitalist culture.

All anyone who works in one wants is a visitor to have is a meaningful engagement with the art. What that means is very different for different people, for different art, different places, etc etc. Families with kids shouldn't be hushed as if the only way to enjoy and experience art is in silent reverence as if it's some holy icon. They can chat, laugh, tell stories, be animated, whatever!

Similarly, if someone wants a record of themselves with art that means something to them, that's a nice thing. Our phones are visual diaries nowadays. I'm not a selfie-taker but the half dozen or so I've ever done are in front of artworks that I've loved.

There's obviously a whole debate about selfie culture as a whole - needing to validate an experience by documenting it. When I went to the Louvre for the first time as an adult about 8 years ago I made the 'pilgrimage' to the Mona Lisa. I honestly couldn't believe what happened - everyone facing with their BACKS to this masterpiece so they could take selfies. It was unbelievable.

So, there is an issue in there, but that's not about galleries, that's about selfie culture.

In galleries, people should be free to engage how they want. Someone interrupted you in your engagement, but it clearly wasn't deliberately rude, and you could have gone back and looked again.

100% this.

You considered this person rude, but it could be considered equally rude to assume there is only one way to appreciate art, and it happens to be the way YOU appreciate art (OP).
Let me tell you, I was never much of a photo fan. I didn't really think to photograph everything and I was never in photos. I hated being in them. Then something happened that made me realise how important photographs are and I WISHED I had taken more over the years. I want photographs, not just for me, but for my children and (hopefully) grandchildren etc to look back at. I want to see my children experiencing things they love and to have a permanent reminder of that to look back at, I want them to have the same of their grandparents and of their father and myself etc. Memories are wonderful but with time, they can fade. I'd love to see the joy in my child's face of them stood in front of their favourite piece of art work and perhaps that person was taking that photo for similar reasons? Perhaps they weren't? ....either way their way of appreciation isn't wrong, and neither is yours.

eastegg · 08/07/2023 14:46

hengelian · 06/07/2023 04:15

If you were in a cinema watching a movie and someone came and tapped you on the shoulder and asked you to take a photo of them with the movie, would it bother you?

To me, this is no different. Art is a story. I'm not being pretentious and I certainly don't think I'm better than anyone else for appreciating art in this way, I was just experiencing it and enjoying that experience which I was rudely pulled away from.

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I don’t think you’ll convince many people with the cinema comparison. If you’re distracted from a film you’ve missed some of it and can’t go back. The art is still there.

TomorrowToday · 08/07/2023 14:47

hengelian · 05/07/2023 22:22

I was in an exhibition in a large London gallery today, totally engrossed in the art works. I was staring at a painting and a woman interrupted me to ask me to take a photo of her in front of it.

I did it but I was quite off with her about it and probably a bit rude (said 'umm.. ok', took one photo and walked away, didn't ask her if it was OK etc).

I find it really rude that she interrupted me in an art gallery - to me this is like being interrupted in the middle of a movie at the cinema. I was experiencing a whole thought process which she dragged me out of so she could have a photo of a work she didn't even properly look at.

Art galleries aren't there for photos, they are there for you to look and experience.

AIBU?

I refuse to take photos of people.

Just say "no thanks".

TheLifeofMe · 08/07/2023 14:49

She asked you for a photo?! What is wrong with that 😂 good grief woman take a seat, have a glass of wine and chill. Life is hard enough without getting wound up over someone asking you to take a photo.

FeliciteFaff · 08/07/2023 14:49

Sorry. But you’re an idiot.

NumberTheory · 08/07/2023 14:51

Loveyou3000 · 08/07/2023 13:48

You seem pretty dismissive of my experience, I'm aware not everyone is like me, however I would always choose to make someone else feel a bit better over a brief interaction than being rude, but that is clearly your go to, hope it made you feel better today x

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I only echoed your tone, LoveYou. If you found me rude, look to your own words first.

I haven’t dismissed your experience, which is individual to you. If you find that all human connection brightens your day and it is never negative that’s not something I’m going to suggest you reconsider for yourself. I was simply pointing out that generalizing that assertion into a moral responsibility for others to make connections because you always find them positive is dismissive of, at the very least, the experience clearly outlined in the OP.

SideWonder · 08/07/2023 15:56

You considered this person rude, but it could be considered equally rude to assume there is only one way to appreciate art, and it happens to be the way YOU appreciate art (OP).

Thing is @Pars78 the OP wasn't interrupting anyone; she wasn't intruding on anyone else's viewing; she wasn't doing anything that had an impact on the way other people were appreciating the art works.

The person asking for a selfie WAS interrupting @hengelian

And let's remember @hengelian TOOK the photo on request. The fact that she didn't gush over the selfie poser seems to be what marks her as rude in some MN minds.

But she took the fucking photo. Her viewing of the art work WAS interrupted; her way of appreciating art was disrupted.

nonmerci99 · 08/07/2023 16:09

Ignore the ridiculous comments. YANBU, but she certainly was.

TomorrowToday · 08/07/2023 16:16

FeliciteFaff · 08/07/2023 14:49

Sorry. But you’re an idiot.

Well you aren't sorry, sorry means you've done something wrong but won't do it again

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 08/07/2023 17:58

And let's remember @hengelian TOOK the photo on request. The fact that she didn't gush over the selfie poser seems to be what marks her as rude in some MN minds.

It was the OP who described herself rude.

Pars78 · 08/07/2023 18:28

SideWonder · 08/07/2023 15:56

You considered this person rude, but it could be considered equally rude to assume there is only one way to appreciate art, and it happens to be the way YOU appreciate art (OP).

Thing is @Pars78 the OP wasn't interrupting anyone; she wasn't intruding on anyone else's viewing; she wasn't doing anything that had an impact on the way other people were appreciating the art works.

The person asking for a selfie WAS interrupting @hengelian

And let's remember @hengelian TOOK the photo on request. The fact that she didn't gush over the selfie poser seems to be what marks her as rude in some MN minds.

But she took the fucking photo. Her viewing of the art work WAS interrupted; her way of appreciating art was disrupted.

She politely asked the person if she would. That was it. Hardly rude. How was she to know that this person can only appreciate art by standing staring at it silently? The OP had a perfect right to refuse the request and explain. She is also allowed to be irritated at being interrupted also. However. To be SO annoyed by a polite request, to post on here and insinuate that people are wrong if they don't appreciate art at a gallery in the same manner as her is where the issue lies for me.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/07/2023 20:00

SideWonder · 08/07/2023 15:56

You considered this person rude, but it could be considered equally rude to assume there is only one way to appreciate art, and it happens to be the way YOU appreciate art (OP).

Thing is @Pars78 the OP wasn't interrupting anyone; she wasn't intruding on anyone else's viewing; she wasn't doing anything that had an impact on the way other people were appreciating the art works.

The person asking for a selfie WAS interrupting @hengelian

And let's remember @hengelian TOOK the photo on request. The fact that she didn't gush over the selfie poser seems to be what marks her as rude in some MN minds.

But she took the fucking photo. Her viewing of the art work WAS interrupted; her way of appreciating art was disrupted.

Exactly!

The importunate selfish selfie person got what she wanted, at OP's expense.

Since when is it ok to interrupt strangers to do our bidding?

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 08/07/2023 23:08

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/07/2023 20:00

Exactly!

The importunate selfish selfie person got what she wanted, at OP's expense.

Since when is it ok to interrupt strangers to do our bidding?

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😅😂
I couldn't tell if this was taking the piss or not!

"...importunate selfish... at OP's expense..."

"Since when is it ok to interrupt strangers to do our bidding?"

The woman probably said something very close to "Excuse me, can you take a photo of me?"

Seriously, what sort of person objects to a polite request like that? It's a momentary favour from a stranger, akin to asking a taller person if they can reach those cornflakes for you from the top shelf. We all depend on a little help from others from time to time.

Selfish people are those who begrudge helping, not those who ask for help.

"Do our bidding" 🥴

Bignanny30 · 09/07/2023 08:50

Being rude to anyone at any point is unreasonable. There’s never a need for rudeness.

RachaelN · 10/07/2023 15:59

Sorry but I'm with OP. Just leave people alone. I'm sure the woman was capable of taking a selfie.