To be rude to this woman in an art gallery

[hengelian]

I was in an exhibition in a large London gallery today, totally engrossed in the art works. I was staring at a painting and a woman interrupted me to ask me to take a photo of her in front of it.

I did it but I was quite off with her about it and probably a bit rude (said 'umm.. ok', took one photo and walked away, didn't ask her if it was OK etc).

I find it really rude that she interrupted me in an art gallery - to me this is like being interrupted in the middle of a movie at the cinema. I was experiencing a whole thought process which she dragged me out of so she could have a photo of a work she didn't even properly look at.

Art galleries aren't there for photos, they are there for you to look and experience.

AIBU?

Im trying to look at it, but people kerp standing in front of it!

I don’t understand why you feel that this poster couldn’t have looked at the painting and then taken a photo for her own enjoyment later. Sometimes there are too many in one exhibition that I would want a postcard of and are not available in a book that I usually can’t afford to buy. Sometimes I haven’t taken a photo intending to purchase one or two postcards of the paintings I’ve really enjoyed seeing in real life, only to find it’s not in the selection available. Plus some would hate me as, once years ago, I didn’t see that you could take photos until the end so rushed back in snapping at my favourites mindful of others of course. However I bet someone judged me seeing how all they saw was me snapping and moving on.

I too would hate someone interrupting my own enjoyment of a painting when they could do their own selfie. If this happened too often I’d be very unhappy.

I donht people taking pictures of the art, just not selfies

@hengelian did I say that toddlers or teenagers aren’t capable ?🤔no i didn’t !
It’s good to see them there whether they’re engaging with the art or not. If they don’t this time that’s ok, they’ve learned that the gallery is a welcoming place, they’ve learned people like themselves are represented on the gallery walls, they’ve learned that engaging in whatever way they see fit is fine and comes without judgement.

It's rude and annoying for someone to interrupt a stranger who is engrossed in anything, be it art or not.

YANBU OP. You were in a moment, immersed, enjoying and being taken in by what you were viewing and she came and disturbed you. I wouldn't have a problem with her taking a pic in such a setting but I would have a problem with her being oblivious to the fact that you were enjoying that moment. She could have waited for you to shift away or grab someone else walking by.

It’s quite different to watching a movie actually. If you miss a moment in the cinema you can’t rewind and get it back. You could thus miss a crucial line or pivotal moment in the plot.

In an art gallery it can be expected that even deep thinkers can interrupt their contemplation and take up again from where they left off. No doubt you will now tell us why in your case that would be an incorrect assumption due to the deep deep nature of your engagement.

That said, I do think the lady was a little forward for my tastes but I’m sure I could have remained polite and gracious.

Your life must be hard if you get worked up about little things like this.
You can tell from you being bothered about this, that you have many little passive aggressive battles in your day to day life.
Just smile and let it go, life will be easier.

What were you looking at OP? I'd love to know.

I can see why you would be annoyed to be honest. And I don't think you were all that rude either!

Bit of an overreaction to a minor interruption.

I think there's a bit of all of us that likes to feel as though we're doing something just a little bit better than people around us. I went to an immersive exhibition recently. It was intended just to fill in time as I had to be in the area, but I finished up enjoying it far more than I'd expected. I work in a creative field - not art - and one of the galleries turned out to be great for just sitting and letting my mind wander around a project I'm working on. I'm usually more of a look and move on gallery viewer. There were a lot of people taking photos and videos - I took some myself - and one family was quite distracting, doing little dances and mini performances, and inevitably being in someone's line of sight. I was annoyed by it for a few minutes, and felt a bit judgy - then realised I was being an arse, and the kids were engaged and enjoying it, and there was plenty of space for everyone to do things in their own way - which was probably exactly what was intended.

Galleries need people to keep visiting. Lovely though they are when it's quiet and you can wander undisturbed, that's not great for the gallery. You can't help being irritated by something, but you can help building it up into a big judgy thing.

I know people are always diagnosing each other Willy nilly on here, but it does occur to me that getting “pulled out” of a thought process could be much more annoying if you have, for example, ADHD or ASD.

I know there’s no evidence Op specifically has it, but it would explain her feelings quite well.

This is what came to my mind

https://eisforerindotcom.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/tendriltheory.jpg

Failed to attach but hopefully link works

Was it Frameless, its so much fun. Loved watching the little ones kicking leaves etc

I never take take photos of art in galleries as I would rather enjoy it in the moment. If other people want to it doesn’t bother me, as long as they aren’t blocking it for an unreasonable amount of time. I never see the need to be rude to people, unless they started out being unnecessarily rude to me. Even then I find over politeness works best as it unnerves them.

I agree. There is trenchant anti-intellectualism in Britain which frankly is one of the (many) reasons why I left the country. Heaven forbid that someone should actually have a brain or use it…

"totally engrossed in the art works. I was staring at a painting and a woman interrupted me to ask me to take a photo of her in front of it. " you were totally engrossed but seem to have full awareness of exactly how long the lady did or did not engage with the painting? She may too have been gazing at it a step behind you, only to come from her reverie to ask a fellow true lover of art to record her with the piece so she may always look back and remember how it impacted her?

You do seem to be policing how to "properly" appreciate art imo. It comes across as judgemental and condescending

I don't know about others, but I'm savouring the experience. Feeling and thinking, digesting it all. Does the picture make me sad, happy, disturbed? Why? What story do I think the artist was trying to tell? What is the story in my imagination? Don't you ever linger over things and savour the experience? Beautiful scenery? Food? A beautiful piece of writing in a book? Poetry? Music? Sensuality and sex?

You are in a public space. Get over yourself.

YANBU to be enjoy art, and YANBU to annoyed to have been disturbed when you didn't want to be, whatever you were doing.

but YABU to be so pompous about the whole thing and needing to make a thread out of it.

There is trenchant anti-intellectualism in Britain which frankly is one of the (many) reasons why I left the country. Heaven forbid that someone should actually have a brain or use it…
Of course there's some anti-intellectual people but on the whole I tend to find that a lot of what people who claim is anti-intellectualism is actually anti-pretentiousness.

Very few people would have any issue with anyone enjoying a piece of art, literature or any other cultural experiences.

Many people, often including those who enjoy intellectual pursuits, will probably find the pretentious carry on of some people to be silly and unreasonable. Most people, including those who enjoy various cultural experiences, aren't going to have a lot of time for anyone making a dramatic tale about how their sophisticated appreciation of art was ruined by some awful commoner who was only interested in a photo.

I like to quietly contemplate a great pieceof art, but one person asking me to take a photo wouldn't bother me. Loads of people, yes. But just one? Seriously???

I take one picture. At the end of an exhibition I decide which picture or work I really loved looking at, or which meant something special then I go back and take a picture of it.

I do it because a) it reminds me of the whole exhibition and b) sods law insists that the picture I choose is never one of the ones they have made into a postcard.

Just become an eccentric billionaire, buy up all the art and keep it for your own private enjoyment in an underground bunker. Simples!

I’ve been to art galleries. I like and appreciate certain art and artists and enjoy mooching around an exhibition but I’ve no interest in being an art snob or think people who don’t feel deeply about a piece of art are heathens or ignoramuses. The thing about art is that it is totally subjective, one person’s masterpiece is another person’s ‘Meh, it’s not all that’. It’s like travel snobbery (‘I’m not a tourist, I’m a traveller’).

I had a man touch my arm & tell me to get out of the way so he could see the painting I was reading about. That was rude enough, but I'd just waited while the people ahead of me in this major exhibtion had their time in front of this painting. He wouldn't do the accepted thing & wait for me to have my turn. I gave him the death stare & walked off. It's all a lady can do. But I'm sure someone on this thread will tell me I should've given him the price of his ticket by way of apology for getting in his way.