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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be rude to this woman in an art gallery

391 replies

hengelian · 05/07/2023 22:22

I was in an exhibition in a large London gallery today, totally engrossed in the art works. I was staring at a painting and a woman interrupted me to ask me to take a photo of her in front of it.

I did it but I was quite off with her about it and probably a bit rude (said 'umm.. ok', took one photo and walked away, didn't ask her if it was OK etc).

I find it really rude that she interrupted me in an art gallery - to me this is like being interrupted in the middle of a movie at the cinema. I was experiencing a whole thought process which she dragged me out of so she could have a photo of a work she didn't even properly look at.

Art galleries aren't there for photos, they are there for you to look and experience.

AIBU?

OP posts:
midgetastic · 06/07/2023 07:34

I think that perhaps many people haven't experienced a picture that really gets you in that way?

I was in my 30s before I could have understood first hand what you meant ( a lowrie sea scape somewhere in Salford )

Basically the OP wasn't looking - she was absorbed , deep concentration and yes it's very annoying when you are in that state to be interrupted and the other person should have been able to tell from the intensity of gaze

DancinOnTheCeiling · 06/07/2023 07:35

Can someone explain the Sistine chapel/screaming at it comments? I have a vague memory there was a thread... ?!?!

Maireas · 06/07/2023 07:38

DancinOnTheCeiling · 06/07/2023 07:35

Can someone explain the Sistine chapel/screaming at it comments? I have a vague memory there was a thread... ?!?!

Someone got overwhelmed in the Sistine Chapel and screamed with enotion. There is a syndrome, I believe.

Willmafrockfit · 06/07/2023 07:38

ClairDeLaLune · 06/07/2023 00:47

Show quote history

here

Original poster
hengelian · 06/07/2023 07:39

Thosepeskyseagulls · 06/07/2023 07:16

You should have said, “Sorry, I’m looking at this picture at the moment.” By being passive aggressive, you haven’t communicated that you weren’t happy with her behaviour, only that you’re a grumpy person.

I mean I think that would also have been pretty rude/ passive aggressive to be fair.

But yeah I admit I am grumpy when I am interrupted from something I'm enjoying for no reason 😅

OP posts:
Nordicrain · 06/07/2023 07:39

LolaSmiles · 05/07/2023 22:24

It was a mild inconvenience and your response seems to be disproportionate in my opinion.

It sounds like you consider yourself the right type of art appreciator for your deep thinking.

This!

OutsideLookingOut · 06/07/2023 07:39

She was rude but it’s so common these days. YANBU to me at least but your way of enjoying art clearly rubs a lot of people up the wrong way. Inclusion only seems to work in certain directions. I think it is beautiful though to feel so absorbed. I can’t for one moment imagine why such a thing is pretentious- do we all have to experience things the same way now? I thought an art gallery was the one place you could stand and stare in society for a while 😓

BodegaSushi · 06/07/2023 07:39

Ahahahahaahahaa

Hahahahahaahhhaha

YABU

HTH

Willmafrockfit · 06/07/2023 07:40

i went to the national gallery, absolutely hoards of people standing in front of Van Gogh paintings,
no photographs as far as i can remember, just a mass of people

Maireas · 06/07/2023 07:40

Don't ever try to visit the Mona Lisa.

Marchitectmummy · 06/07/2023 07:41

Oh goodness fuss and bother. Take the picture and go back to it, in the scheme of things it really isn't a big drama.

Sugaristheenemy · 06/07/2023 07:42

Never mind OP. I was on holiday a few years ago, literally just sat down to eat my ice cream and was asked to take someone’s photo.
I was annoyed as it was VERY hot and my ice cream was already melting so I took the photo but deliberately made it a very bad one.
Not my finest hour 😬

FireflyJar · 06/07/2023 07:47

Sounds like a non problem to me

Orchidgal · 06/07/2023 07:50

Why are you asking OP?
There must be doubt in your mind or you wouldn’t be here?

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 06/07/2023 07:52

I’m quite old school and have been dragged around so many galleries as a child…

I do think to encourage more people then yes that’s why some not all allow selfies etc. but you m did sound quite pompous.

DrSbaitso · 06/07/2023 07:52

I guess I did judge her a bit because she just wanted a shot for instagram

How do you know that? Did she tell you? And did she confirm that she had no other response to the artwork?

And if so...so what?

noglow · 06/07/2023 07:57

You could have gained from it- asked her what she felt when she looked at the picture. What does she see looking at it.

Screwballs · 06/07/2023 07:58

Jesus Christ, you sound ridiculously pretentious. If all you need to worry about in life is wafting around art galleries being better than everyone else, then good for you.

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 06/07/2023 08:00

Oh, for goodness sake, people ask others around them to take photos for them all the time; especially in a "touristy" setting. It's not unreasonable. You could have said no if it disturbed you so much.

A couple of years ago London was far less busy than usual as many tourists were kept away by COVID. We went to the National Gallery, first thing and it wasn't busy. It was amazing to be able to take photos of DD11 in front of some of the most famous paintings with nary another person around. I love those paintings, know them well and so this was my way to appreciate them that day, as I was in a family situation and less free.
Your own photos are not the same as a postcard.

AngelinaFibres · 06/07/2023 08:01

Echio · 05/07/2023 22:45

YABU - I've worked in galleries the last 10 years.

Your way of experiencing an artwork is just one of many, and is not the 'right' way. There's no such thing. There's whole SWATHES of theory that say viewing in the way you describe is symptomatic of the worst aspects of capitalist culture.

All anyone who works in one wants is a visitor to have is a meaningful engagement with the art. What that means is very different for different people, for different art, different places, etc etc. Families with kids shouldn't be hushed as if the only way to enjoy and experience art is in silent reverence as if it's some holy icon. They can chat, laugh, tell stories, be animated, whatever!

Similarly, if someone wants a record of themselves with art that means something to them, that's a nice thing. Our phones are visual diaries nowadays. I'm not a selfie-taker but the half dozen or so I've ever done are in front of artworks that I've loved.

There's obviously a whole debate about selfie culture as a whole - needing to validate an experience by documenting it. When I went to the Louvre for the first time as an adult about 8 years ago I made the 'pilgrimage' to the Mona Lisa. I honestly couldn't believe what happened - everyone facing with their BACKS to this masterpiece so they could take selfies. It was unbelievable.

So, there is an issue in there, but that's not about galleries, that's about selfie culture.

In galleries, people should be free to engage how they want. Someone interrupted you in your engagement, but it clearly wasn't deliberately rude, and you could have gone back and looked again.

This. End of thread .

noglow · 06/07/2023 08:04

AngelinaFibres · 06/07/2023 08:01

This. End of thread .

Show quote history

I agree with this. I actually field art galleries a challenge. How am I meant to "perform" viewing art. People are wandering round slowly in absolute silence. Looking closely at every picture. I prefer to walk past pictures until one catches my eye then I look at it for about a minute max!

midgetastic · 06/07/2023 08:05

Actually although the interrupter might not have been deliberately rude they were certainly careless and not observing the other person - they interpreted without thought or they might have noticed that the person didn't really want an interaction

SideWonder · 06/07/2023 08:06

Art galleries aren't there for photos, they are there for you to look and experience.

AIBU?

YANBU

You weren't rude, and art galleries are not for posing in front of paintings.

midgetastic · 06/07/2023 08:06

Agree everyone can look in their own way and everyone should be respectful of others approachs - which the interrupter wasn't

Willmafrockfit · 06/07/2023 08:06

i dont think she should have interrupted you op but if she had waited until you were about to walk away that would have been better.