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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be rude to this woman in an art gallery

391 replies

hengelian · 05/07/2023 22:22

I was in an exhibition in a large London gallery today, totally engrossed in the art works. I was staring at a painting and a woman interrupted me to ask me to take a photo of her in front of it.

I did it but I was quite off with her about it and probably a bit rude (said 'umm.. ok', took one photo and walked away, didn't ask her if it was OK etc).

I find it really rude that she interrupted me in an art gallery - to me this is like being interrupted in the middle of a movie at the cinema. I was experiencing a whole thought process which she dragged me out of so she could have a photo of a work she didn't even properly look at.

Art galleries aren't there for photos, they are there for you to look and experience.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Skyflymom · 07/07/2023 06:59

Rude AND pretentious! (You NOT her!)

Mamma2017 · 07/07/2023 07:09

This is a wind up post, right?

Quiverer · 07/07/2023 07:16

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 06/07/2023 17:56

I would, and I'm sure many,many other people would agree!

Show quote history

No-one has sole gazing rights at a particular picture for as long as they want it. In a busy gallery people just don't queue politely whilst others study a painting at their leisure.

ButterflyOil · 07/07/2023 07:56

hengelian · 06/07/2023 08:19

If that's the case I should have been left to appreciate it how I wanted to. I was interrupted whilst deep in thought and I couldn't get back to that again afterwards.

Show quote history

In which case you need to work on letting minor interruptions to your meditations on the world go so you can more fluidly return to a mindful experience. Genuinely.

LimePi · 07/07/2023 08:02

I love art but this is really very pretentious:) it is not the same as interrupting enjoyment of opera or ballet performance, really

ohdamnitjanet · 07/07/2023 08:09

Bet you're fun at parties

Fandabedodgy · 07/07/2023 08:13

You need to get over yourself.

ActDottie · 07/07/2023 08:22

Lol

Countdowntowinter · 07/07/2023 08:23

Do you always overthink things to this extent?

Move on with your life.

Etoile41 · 07/07/2023 08:29

Oh my, you sound delightful. Really up yourself.

SmellsLikeTeenSpirits · 07/07/2023 09:05

I don’t think YABU. Art galleries are libraries for pictures - so ideally quiet, reflective spaces. You’d hope a good place to escape the ‘look at me’ social media culture. Doesn’t sound like you were particularly rude anyway. I’d have just said no. Why would someone need a picture of themselves in front of a painting. Ugh 😑

ohdamnitjanet · 07/07/2023 09:17

@SparklingDrink I've just read all 40 pages and am forever in your debt 😆

Catsmere · 07/07/2023 09:19

Well OP, I've asked for my picture to be taken in front of paintings before, when I'd loved them for years and travelled over 15000 km to see them.

Butchyrestingface · 07/07/2023 09:21

Just don't pull me away from my own experience if you want a photo. If people are swept up in social media culture then fine - but I also have the right to experience it how I want to. If you want a photo then take a selfie or ask the staff!

S buy a t-shirt with the legend "FUCK OFF SELFIE SKANKS" for when you visit art galleries. That should do it.

JusthereforXmas · 07/07/2023 09:27

You sound like an insufferable pompous person... it's really not that deep.

Please never visit the Sistine chapel you maybe overwhelmed.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 07/07/2023 09:50

LimePi · 07/07/2023 08:02

I love art but this is really very pretentious:) it is not the same as interrupting enjoyment of opera or ballet performance, really

You can't make that determination for everyone.

Interrupting for entirely selfish reasons is rude and obnoxious.

Greenfinc · 07/07/2023 10:06

Engrossed in the art ffs 😂😂

TheWalrusdidbeseech · 07/07/2023 10:07

Gosh some people take themselves VERY seriously.

How can a minor annoyance become such a drama. What happens when something really serious actually happens?

MasterBeth · 07/07/2023 10:09

You weren't very rude. You didn't exactly tell her to fuck off.

Segway16 · 07/07/2023 10:13

Echio · 05/07/2023 22:45

YABU - I've worked in galleries the last 10 years.

Your way of experiencing an artwork is just one of many, and is not the 'right' way. There's no such thing. There's whole SWATHES of theory that say viewing in the way you describe is symptomatic of the worst aspects of capitalist culture.

All anyone who works in one wants is a visitor to have is a meaningful engagement with the art. What that means is very different for different people, for different art, different places, etc etc. Families with kids shouldn't be hushed as if the only way to enjoy and experience art is in silent reverence as if it's some holy icon. They can chat, laugh, tell stories, be animated, whatever!

Similarly, if someone wants a record of themselves with art that means something to them, that's a nice thing. Our phones are visual diaries nowadays. I'm not a selfie-taker but the half dozen or so I've ever done are in front of artworks that I've loved.

There's obviously a whole debate about selfie culture as a whole - needing to validate an experience by documenting it. When I went to the Louvre for the first time as an adult about 8 years ago I made the 'pilgrimage' to the Mona Lisa. I honestly couldn't believe what happened - everyone facing with their BACKS to this masterpiece so they could take selfies. It was unbelievable.

So, there is an issue in there, but that's not about galleries, that's about selfie culture.

In galleries, people should be free to engage how they want. Someone interrupted you in your engagement, but it clearly wasn't deliberately rude, and you could have gone back and looked again.

I love this. I would’ve agreed with OP but you’ve changed my mind.

Sunnyfunnytimes · 07/07/2023 10:16

To be fair she prob didn’t realise you were “experiencing a whole thought process” 😂😂

oakleaffy · 07/07/2023 11:02

Where you so overwhelmed by the artwork that you shrieked, a la Sistine Chapel?

YABU~ but who wants a pic of themselves in front on an artwork?!

Libra24 · 07/07/2023 11:07

I hate going out in public and the public are there. 🤣

Could you not have just said, no sorry not right now, I'm just here to appreciate the paintings.

Its understandable that you felt interrupted but it's not a hanging offence to speak to another person in a public place.

Art is subjective. You don't get to decide how another person enjoys it. But you can establish a boundary for yourself.
Saying no would have made you feel better than saying yes and tanting on here so maybe take that forward next time.

ididntwanttodoit · 07/07/2023 11:19

you were both rude.