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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be rude to this woman in an art gallery

391 replies

hengelian · 05/07/2023 22:22

I was in an exhibition in a large London gallery today, totally engrossed in the art works. I was staring at a painting and a woman interrupted me to ask me to take a photo of her in front of it.

I did it but I was quite off with her about it and probably a bit rude (said 'umm.. ok', took one photo and walked away, didn't ask her if it was OK etc).

I find it really rude that she interrupted me in an art gallery - to me this is like being interrupted in the middle of a movie at the cinema. I was experiencing a whole thought process which she dragged me out of so she could have a photo of a work she didn't even properly look at.

Art galleries aren't there for photos, they are there for you to look and experience.

AIBU?

OP posts:
SideWonder · 07/07/2023 11:22

Can people stop bashing @hengelian She's NOT screaming & acting like a drama llama in a crowded place.

The OP was quietly looking deeply at a painting & for a length of time. This is absolutely appropriate (pity more people didn't do this).

She was interrupted by a selfie-hunter who's main engagement with the painting was to want a picture of her standing in front of it. ie this gallery visitor wasn't even looking at the painting - she had her back to it.

DrSbaitso · 07/07/2023 11:25

She was interrupted by a selfie-hunter who's main engagement with the painting was to want a picture of her standing in front of it. ie this gallery visitor wasn't even looking at the painting - she had her back to it.

In that moment, yes, because she was looking for someone to take a photo. You have no idea what her main engagement with the painting was.

Butchyrestingface · 07/07/2023 11:30

She was interrupted by a selfie-hunter who's main engagement with the painting was to want a picture of her standing in front of it. ie this gallery visitor wasn't even looking at the painting - she had her back to it.

I think having a selfie taken with yourself posed as if gazing, rapt in thought, at the painting, is even more slappable than someone grinning inanely at the camera with the painting behind them. Grin.

Thelnebriati · 07/07/2023 11:35

80% of the people who voted would grab your book away to ask you what you are reading.

inamarina · 07/07/2023 11:53

Duvetdweller · 05/07/2023 22:27

Were you screaming at it?

That was my first thought too 😅

inamarina · 07/07/2023 12:59

MaybeWednesday · 06/07/2023 06:13

Omg I love this. It made me well up (no I'm not the screamer).

It is truly from someone who loves and appreciate art. What a lovely post.

Show quote history

Agree with this.
The „mad toddlers“ and the description of teenagers complaining that they could have done a better job create such a vivid image 🙂
Isn‘t it better if more people are exposed to art rather than only a few true aficionados?

Dillydollydingdong · 07/07/2023 13:26

Get a grip, woman.

Brefugee · 07/07/2023 13:29

meh. I personally wouldn't be annoyed by this but you clearly are.

As an aside i was at my favourite art gallery the other day and - joy of joys - my favourite painting in the universe which has been away for cleaning and on loan and whatever - since pre-covid, is now back. So i sat looking at it for a while, and a few people struck up a conversation with me about it, what we liked, who it was by (not entirely obvious it's by him if you don't know) and so on. I got even more enjoyment out of it from those small interactions.

best reactions always come when people look at it, shrug then see who it's by and come back for seconds.

Daphnis156 · 07/07/2023 13:31

Do a small favour with good grace, and perhaps one day someone will be kind to you...

2CranesDance · 07/07/2023 13:51

You were in a public space

Takesnocrap · 07/07/2023 13:51

Yes.

SpeedReader · 07/07/2023 13:56

I voted YABU because (1) I don't think this woman's request was unreasonable and (2) your response sounds passive aggressive.

This woman wanted a photograph of herself in front of an artwork, and needed to ask a stranger to help. I expect she thought you looked like a kind person who might assist, which is actually a complement to you.

Of course, you were under no obligation to help. If you were engrossed in the artwork and did not want to be disturbed - which is also fair enough - you could have politely said sorry, you're not able to assist.

Brightandshining · 07/07/2023 13:58

Are you the Sistine Chapel woman?

Herejusttocomment · 07/07/2023 14:02

This is a wind up, surely?

Raizin · 07/07/2023 14:06

FFS.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 07/07/2023 14:31

SpeedReader · 07/07/2023 13:56

I voted YABU because (1) I don't think this woman's request was unreasonable and (2) your response sounds passive aggressive.

This woman wanted a photograph of herself in front of an artwork, and needed to ask a stranger to help. I expect she thought you looked like a kind person who might assist, which is actually a complement to you.

Of course, you were under no obligation to help. If you were engrossed in the artwork and did not want to be disturbed - which is also fair enough - you could have politely said sorry, you're not able to assist.

She didn't "need" anything.

People need to get over the idea that strangers must gratify their every whim.

Brefugee · 07/07/2023 14:35

I'd really love to know what the painting was now.
I've seen the ML - back when queues weren't such a thing but neither were phones and selfies - it's... meh. There are far better paintings, far more interesting for sure, in the same room. But each to his own. It is iconic, seeing it in RL brought a bit of a lump to my cynical teenage throat.

The painting i love to look at most, is huge. A really big canvass. It has a small square in the middle that when you look at it the first time really looks as though there is an actual light shining through it. It is a stunningly brilliantly executed piece of a rather odd painting, but the way the artist has painted the light just stops me in my tracks every time.

It's a rather odd, big, brown/beige canvass (aside of that part and a few other small pbits). It has pictures and things. And many many people do a "meh" and walk past. Then you can see them stop in their tracks if they glance over to see who painted it. And often they come back and do a gushing "oh i so love X's work, yadda yadda" and every time i think "fuck you. He was an excellent draughstman, and this painting is not his most well known, but it is very clear who painted it if you are a big fan of his"

(yeah, it annoys me - but mostly because i think everyone should love it as much as i do)

ErrolTheDragon · 07/07/2023 14:41

I'd really love to know what the painting was now.

Yes, and I'd like even more to know what yours is, @Brefugee !

ifIwerenotanandroid · 07/07/2023 14:41

C'mon, Brefugee!

Caramelatt · 07/07/2023 14:48

hengelian · 06/07/2023 04:15

If you were in a cinema watching a movie and someone came and tapped you on the shoulder and asked you to take a photo of them with the movie, would it bother you?

To me, this is no different. Art is a story. I'm not being pretentious and I certainly don't think I'm better than anyone else for appreciating art in this way, I was just experiencing it and enjoying that experience which I was rudely pulled away from.

Show quote history

Even if it annoyed you a bit, the disturbing person didn't know it would be a big deal for you.

You didnt have to make a point unless they asked you to retake 5 times.

Why people get bothered over mildly annoying things if you want to put it under annoying behaviour? I think this is the reason people are calling you snob.

Out of interest l, what painting / artist was it?

crumpet · 07/07/2023 14:56

hengelian · 05/07/2023 22:22

I was in an exhibition in a large London gallery today, totally engrossed in the art works. I was staring at a painting and a woman interrupted me to ask me to take a photo of her in front of it.

I did it but I was quite off with her about it and probably a bit rude (said 'umm.. ok', took one photo and walked away, didn't ask her if it was OK etc).

I find it really rude that she interrupted me in an art gallery - to me this is like being interrupted in the middle of a movie at the cinema. I was experiencing a whole thought process which she dragged me out of so she could have a photo of a work she didn't even properly look at.

Art galleries aren't there for photos, they are there for you to look and experience.

AIBU?

You're not the Sistine Chapel person are you?

It was a 2 second act of kindness which you could have done gracefully- or else just politely refused . But to do it ungraciously was a bit miserable.

Brefugee · 07/07/2023 14:58

ErrolTheDragon · 07/07/2023 14:41

I'd really love to know what the painting was now.

Yes, and I'd like even more to know what yours is, @Brefugee !

sorry i was being hugely coy. But here goes:

it's La Gare de Perpignan by Dali. It's not quite as dark as it looks in the thumbnail. But that bit in the middle? really really looks as though there's a light behind it. It is huge. Takes up a whole wall

La Gare de Perpignan - Wikipedia

La Gare de Perpignan - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Gare_de_Perpignan

Brefugee · 07/07/2023 14:58

(sorry, I should have mentioned it before, but then i think "outing" then i think - meh, I'm pretty identifiable at this stage)

I'm needy. Send snacks and acknowledgement

OrTheBearsWillGetYou · 07/07/2023 15:04

ErrolTheDragon · 07/07/2023 14:41

I'd really love to know what the painting was now.

Yes, and I'd like even more to know what yours is, @Brefugee !

The OP was probably lost in deep, transcendent thought looking at a copy of The Green Lady or Dogs Playing Poker.

ErrolTheDragon · 07/07/2023 15:12

Brefugee · 07/07/2023 14:58

(sorry, I should have mentioned it before, but then i think "outing" then i think - meh, I'm pretty identifiable at this stage)

I'm needy. Send snacks and acknowledgement

Thanks! I'm not sure it's a painting I'd love, but I'd definitely like to see it IRL and it'd need a good long look for sure.

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