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AIBU?

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Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
Wizzbangfizz · 03/07/2023 12:33

I’m not sure this is real but I can’t imagine what set of circumstances i would be so aroused I’d be moved to give a stripper in a crowded room of whooping women a blow job behind a Union Jack. Most strippers I’ve seen at hen dos have been funny more than anything.

I wouldn’t tell DH, put it down to a 3/4 minute drunken mistake.

YukoandHiro · 03/07/2023 12:33

Oh well that's a drip feed - a BJ is v different from licking a bit of cream off pecs.

Your call. It's not like you had an affair but it is fairly grim.

Superdupes · 03/07/2023 12:33

I'd say 'I drank too much, the hen party got out of hand and I spent too long licking cream off the stripper, now I feel terrible'. Then it's up to him if he wants more details or to see it as a stupid drunken one off that he doesn't need to hear the details to.

blahblahblah1654 · 03/07/2023 12:33

Imagine how many mouths have been on his dick. I hope you get checked for STDs. I've seen a couple of strippers and no one has licked or sucked a cock that I was aware of.

Appleofmyeye2023 · 03/07/2023 12:33

AnonKat · 03/07/2023 11:58

Classic Mumsnet! She sucked a man's penis and it's not cheating 🤣

It's on a hen night, so it's ok? Laughable.

What if he has an STI?

I was thinking this .
and that it is adultery

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 12:33

standardduck · 03/07/2023 12:29

Funny how everyone is okay with this and it's not considered cheating because OP is a woman. If OP posted about her fiancé going down on a stripper, everyone would be telling her to leave him Grin

OP, only you and your DH know what's consider cheating in your relationship. In my opinion it is.

I can't imagine not telling my DH, imagine if he finds out from someone else. And yes, you were behind a flag, but what do you think the rest of your group thought you were doing there for 3-4 minutes?

Also, get an STI test.

In what way is 'everyone' ok with this? Most of the posts are absolutely not ok with it at all!

LadyH846 · 03/07/2023 12:33

This reply has been deleted

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Ladybug14 · 03/07/2023 12:33

This can't be true. If it is its very weird. 4 minutes? What was everyone else doing during that time? Queuing up? 🤮

I find strippers hilarious, not sexy

If you were a man I'd tell you that you're disgusting and your wife should think seriously about leaving you

I think the same for you, OP

IF your story is true

HarrisJu · 03/07/2023 12:33

No good will come from telling your dh.
Men have fragile egos. And in this case, drunk or not, you sucked another man's penis.

He's not going to react well and you will certainly be taking a chisel to the foundation of your marriage.

If you really love your dh and will never do this again then keep quiet.

NancyPickford · 03/07/2023 12:33

Say nothing. Deny everything if challenged. Your guilt is your punishment.

nosepierce · 03/07/2023 12:34

this can't be for real. wtf - std would probably cross my mind too like other people have said.

sureigot20 · 03/07/2023 12:34

Grim 🤢

Yes you need to tell him. Sit him down and explain what happened.

Hintofreality · 03/07/2023 12:35

That is fucking grim, would you want him to tell you if he licked a strippers genitalia?

ArcticSkewer · 03/07/2023 12:35

Grim. Sex workers/prostitutes is hard to forgive but maybe it's more the kind of thing you would both find acceptable?

Bearpawk · 03/07/2023 12:35

JFC, 3-4 minutes is a full on BJ. Did he ejaculate op?

What kind of skanky ass hen party has women queuing up to lick a strangers cock behind a flag? And HE got paid for it? Sounds like a bad porno 😂

Jewelanemone · 03/07/2023 12:35

Are you all (including your husband) going to the wedding? You'd better hope nobody gets drunk and starts reminiscing.....

JeandeServiette · 03/07/2023 12:35

For goodness sake, perhaps it was broad shoulder's the 6 pack and the significantly bigger than average cock

The room full of friends?

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 03/07/2023 12:35

I'm still shocked that a group of women partook in this.

Pretty sure my DP would consider me going behind the flag and putting my tongue anywhere near his penis as cheating, and I'd agree.

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 12:35

Just quickly lifted this from Google

How common is STD with oral sex?

The risk of getting or transmitting an STD through oral sex is generally lower compared to vaginal or anal sex, though it is still very much a possibility and a risk to be aware of. STDs transmitted via oral sex can infect one's lips, mouth, throat, genitals, or anus.

MasterBeth · 03/07/2023 12:35

Out of a group of 20 on a hen party, 5 will be dieting, 3 will be lactose intolerant, 2 will be gay, 2 will be off men right now, 4 will be shy, 4 will refuse to take part in a sexist meat market...

I refuse to believe that the one that's left noshed off the talent for 4 minutes behind a Union Jack.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 03/07/2023 12:36

Jesus I wonder what the “not really cheating” lot would think if it was a man giving oral sex to a female stripper for 3/4
mins. She had another man’s cock in her mouth for several minutes she wasn’t just licking off some whipped cream.

I wouldn’t tell him OP but make sure you never do anything like this again!

Ameanstreakamilewide · 03/07/2023 12:36

Hintofreality · 03/07/2023 12:35

That is fucking grim, would you want him to tell you if he licked a strippers genitalia?

She'd be disgusted, and rightly so.

Think of lowering yourself to that level, though...🤢

SugarPlumRoar · 03/07/2023 12:36

Actually I can well believe the OP to an extent. When I was younger at a ladies night at university that had two strippers. Both my flatmate and friend got pulled up separately for the whipped cream section by them. My flatmate was horrified and refused to lick cream from anywhere but the guys chest. My friend on the other hand who had a boyfriend who at that very moment was at my boyfriends house playing poker with him and their friends decided that she was more than up for it.

Similarly he had a large union jack which he was using to shield things, unfortunately from where we sat we could see everything and the whole room could tell what was going on by the facial expressions of the stripper and it lasted a lot longer than my flatmate who was back at her seat embarrassed and angry that she had cream in her hair and her make up was ruined.

Said friend thought the whole thing was funny especially when she tried to slip stripper her number at the end of the evening without a thought for her then boyfriend.

I was mortified then and rather angry that I was asked not to tell my boyfriend what had happened. Its most definitely cheating and just because it was a stripper doesn't make it better.

If the role were reversed would you be OK with your DH licking whipped cream from a strippers vagina? I also suspect you would have been ripped a new one on here if you were a man.

Frankly your DP deserves to know about it, unless this stripper wore a condom you're putting your DH at risk of a potential STI, you broke his trust, you now need to live with the consequences of your choices.

BamBamBambi · 03/07/2023 12:36

Some of you must live very tame life’s if you can’t believe this is real.

Iv been to hen dos like this😂😂

OP, if there’s no chance your DH will find out from the rest of the hens then just keep your mouth shut and don’t mention it.
It’s a one off, no need to ruin your relationship over it.

Wnikat · 03/07/2023 12:36

There would be so many LTBs if this was about a man going down on a stripper on a stag do.