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Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
aperolspritzbasicbitch · 03/07/2023 12:26

Thisweeksname · 03/07/2023 12:24

It is bad but i don’t think I’d tell him. If a man went on a stag do and did stuff none of the other blokes would grass him up and it’s unlikely he would tell his wife. Keep it to yourself.

Women are different though.

I was on a hen last year and one of the party were being very over the top flirtatious with a guy who then proceeded to follow us around like a bad smell for the rest of the night. We talk about the vibe it gave the night all the time. We'd probably meet weekly to talk about it if she'd actually sucked him off 🤣🤣🤣

whumpthereitis · 03/07/2023 12:27

People like to think that women don’t do this shit on hen nights, and that debauchery is reserved for men, but some absolutely do. Some wild shit goes on at times.

I’d advise keeping quiet, if no one saw you and there’s no photo or video evidence. The women you told - does she have an OH? If so, she’s probably not going to want to be reported back on either.

Toniii · 03/07/2023 12:27

You sucked his cock for 3-4 minutes? Yeah I'd divorce you for that like! And I'm not a prude at all.

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 12:27

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:25

I know I need to tell DH I just genuinely don't know how

How would you like to be told?

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:27

@strawberrywhisk because she's just responding to the posters saying it's fine and hoping everyone will talk her down from telling him...

I'm not panting at anything, but I think he deserves to know the truth.

I could probably forgive drunken cheating if it was in a nightclub or something, but someone who had been paid for and all DP's friends had a go on, too? That's something very different.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 03/07/2023 12:28

I'm not prude but finding this one hard to believe.

A 4 minute public blowjob where other women did the same also. Christ, can you imagine if a female stripped was subjected to the same? Is no one else thinking stds, consent, sexual assault?

There's a hell of a difference between living some cream of a stripper and having your cock in his mouth.

I'd forgive an affair quicker than this public performance.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:28

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:27

@strawberrywhisk because she's just responding to the posters saying it's fine and hoping everyone will talk her down from telling him...

I'm not panting at anything, but I think he deserves to know the truth.

I could probably forgive drunken cheating if it was in a nightclub or something, but someone who had been paid for and all DP's friends had a go on, too? That's something very different.

Hoping in vain, I don't even know where to begin in telling him

OP posts:
PookieHook · 03/07/2023 12:28

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:25

I know I need to tell DH I just genuinely don't know how

Tell him that you fell over and you accidently got the strippers cock in your mouth. Tell him while you were struggling to get up, you may have run your tongue up and down his maypole a few times, completely accidently of course.
Jobs a goodun!

standardduck · 03/07/2023 12:29

Funny how everyone is okay with this and it's not considered cheating because OP is a woman. If OP posted about her fiancé going down on a stripper, everyone would be telling her to leave him Grin

OP, only you and your DH know what's consider cheating in your relationship. In my opinion it is.

I can't imagine not telling my DH, imagine if he finds out from someone else. And yes, you were behind a flag, but what do you think the rest of your group thought you were doing there for 3-4 minutes?

Also, get an STI test.

Emotionalsupportviper · 03/07/2023 12:29

FOJN · 03/07/2023 11:51

Unless he's likely to hear it from someone else why would you hurt him by telling him?
Your guilt is for you to deal with.

THIS

If you are only wanting to salve your conscience, keep quiet.

readbooksdrinktea · 03/07/2023 12:29

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 12:27

How would you like to be told?

Show quote history

Yes. Go with that.

OP you actually don't sound embarrassed at all you sound very proud. I'm getting this weird vibe too. Probably because it's a load of shite. Let's hope for the husband that that's the case.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 03/07/2023 12:29

Those who think this is ay-ok, would it also be so for DH to go down on a stripper for 3-4 minutes? With an audience? Confused

I think oral is more intimate than PIV. Way more so.

Itaintover · 03/07/2023 12:29

Well it wasn’t your finest moment was it! But… you were drunk and caught up in silliness and got carried away, it’s not like you’ve been sending nudes to Dave from IT and shagged him in a travelodge is it?
keep quiet. Forgive yourself. Line your stomach before hitting the mimosas in future.
that’s what I’d tell you if you were sat in my kitchen now with a mug of coffee, friend, sister, daughter or whatever my advice would be the above.

Nojumpingorrunning · 03/07/2023 12:30

This does happen and I agree with @Diorinthecountryy

Whatkindofuckeryisthis · 03/07/2023 12:30

Wow!
That is grim! I’d be disgusted if my partner licked another woman’s bits. It would 100% be classed as cheating. Being tipsy isn’t an excuse. You’re sucked a random man’s cock… I bet he’s filthy! Tell your husband immediately.

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:30

@Lostsoul0307 just sit him down and say you need to tell him something. Don't give him the whole back story of 'everyone was doing it' or whatever, just own what you did, tell him you know how unacceptable it is and that you hope he can forgive your moment of madness but you understand if he needs space.

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 12:30

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:27

@strawberrywhisk because she's just responding to the posters saying it's fine and hoping everyone will talk her down from telling him...

I'm not panting at anything, but I think he deserves to know the truth.

I could probably forgive drunken cheating if it was in a nightclub or something, but someone who had been paid for and all DP's friends had a go on, too? That's something very different.

I apologise for that remark, regretted it soon as I posted it. And I've sort of changed my mind and agree with you, I just don't like name calling and like to be more logical in responding.

YukoandHiro · 03/07/2023 12:31

I mean it's not the classiest decision you've ever made but it's not "being unfaithful". Don't make something out of it that it isn't! If you start using that language and tell him what happened he's going to think you're hiding something else...

GalileoHumpkins · 03/07/2023 12:31

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:25

I know I need to tell DH I just genuinely don't know how

Brian darling, I sucked off the stripper at the hen do. It's ok though MN assures me it wasn't cheating and to be fair his cock was bigger than yours. Tinkly laugh, would you like more peas?

Grimed · 03/07/2023 12:31

I mean can't you STI's from that? HPV, that sort of thing? You need sone tests as well as confessing to your husband.

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:32

That's completely fair enough @strawberrywhisk. Thank you for the apology - completely unnecessary but appreciated nonetheless.

I think it's a very emotive subject for a lot of people but I do agree there's some quite aggressive delivery of opinions.

FreyafromLondon · 03/07/2023 12:32

GRIM 🤮 Sucking off a random stripper that has had all your mates tongues around as well?! Vile.
Also so OP you can't have been that good... 3-4 minutes without stopping most men would ejaculate. Unless he did in your mouth 🤢

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 03/07/2023 12:32

Thing is OP there will be at least one video and the fact you are behind a flag for that long and the stripper has stopped, well, stripping, shows something was happening .

You need to think damage limitation now and at least have some control over how this comes out

Also this is the kind of story rag papers have their journos looking out for so even more important to get ahead and maybe consider pulling this

BreviloquentBastard · 03/07/2023 12:32

I'm disgusted by all the vile women saying don't tell him or that it's not a big deal. OPs husband has a right to decide if he wants to stay married to someone who'd suck someone else's cock in front of a room full of people behind his back. Exactly the same women in fact who'd be on here screaming LTB if anyone confided that their husband had eaten out a stripper.

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 12:33

YukoandHiro · 03/07/2023 12:31

I mean it's not the classiest decision you've ever made but it's not "being unfaithful". Don't make something out of it that it isn't! If you start using that language and tell him what happened he's going to think you're hiding something else...

Just wondering what you actually think constitutes cheating.