I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

[Lostsoul0307]

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

It’s different for some, not for others. Some women do get turned on by attractive male strippers.

I don’t think that recognising that some women behave like this means that all women behave like this, or that even the majority do. Not liking the fact that some women can behave in this way, and wanting to believe they don’t, doesn’t mean that they don’t.

I am not really bothered what people- mostly misogynist TWAW men- think of MN. Who cares?

I have changed my mind now and think the OP should tell her DH. But ofc she is not going to.

Ah, yet another Mumsnet poster who thinks she's been elected to speak on behalf of women.

I wasn't aware that we were only allowed to make posts that reflect the experiences and behaviours of the average woman.

Heh. I didn't use the words nice or slut, but I still think any woman who gives a stranger a blow job in public is deranged.

Exactly ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch

I don't believe this post is true. The bit about scratching the car jumped the shark. Owww what a silly woman I am, first I gave a drunken blow job to a stripper because I'm sooo horny around naked men and then I scratched hubby's car. Aren't I a ditz!?

The first post was meant to draw people in to saying it wasn't cheating before OP became more specific.

There's loads of posts condemning OP, and some misogyny thrown in too. Apparently women are still slags for having sexual desires. How enlightened we are.

Of all the raucous nights out and hen dos I've been on nothing even remotely like this happened. People from my school still talk about a classmate giving a blowjob to a random in a club bathroom well over 30 years ago exactly because that kind of behaviour is unusual amongst women.

It's utterly ridiculous how many people are on here are yelling double standards or sexism.

On the remotest of remote chances this is true. Fess up OP if you love your husband. You had a choice and now so should he. Personally I think it's a load of bollocks, cream covered or not. It's time sit down with your husband and just spit it out.

Prostitition is grim whether it's the man or woman as punter.

I just hope that the Union Flag was covering up his face whilst all this was going on!!!

That's true - how can the flag have been so big it covered all of him and all of her?

Of course everyone knows.

This thread has got to be one of the most blatant attempts to push the 'women are as bad as men' agenda I've seen on here so far.
I can't imagine a single person will have their existing views about the relative poor behaviour of men and women changed in the least by such poorly executed nonsense.
Our experience in the world informs our views. One tall tale about a woman behaving badly isn't going to wipe out decades of that.

Sociosexuality? Is that what we call it nowadays? I will remedy my post. Anyone, man or woman, who does this is grim. Is that better? I guess I am medieval then.

I am still suspicious about whether it is true, but as MN left it up...

Frankly even if it was true rather than a tall tale, it still won't mean women are as bad as men generally.

I can tell you from my experience of working in an almost completely male environment, I've had pass after pass after pass made at me and I am plain and more than a little chubby.

My few female uni chums have all also been subjected to the same, often in deeply unpleasant circs.

You only need to look at the threads asking what age were you when you were first flashed at, or had a man say something pervy, or sexually assaulted to understand there is indeed an entirely different power dynamic around sex for men and women. As one poster rightly pointed out despite being shouted down.

And as to the poster who said women can't do anything wrong in society? I don't think I've ever, ever seen a stupider post on mumsnet. Women are held to blame for pretty much everything. Get raped, yep that's your fault, what were you wearing, how much did you have to drink? Get domestically abused, well you brought it on yourself by nagging. Get cheated on, well you've let yourself go. Husband does not do his fair share, well you should have know he was a dick, even if he hid it before marriage. Got a promotion, got to be sleeping with the boss or a result of positive discrimination right? Your son has grown up and goes around making babies and abandoning them, it must be your mothering at fault. The list goes on and on ad nausum.

Like others had said, I think this thread is intended to be damaging.

If it was a man his conscience probably wouldn’t have suffered to the extent he would make up a thread about it. He would no doubt just quietly get on with his life……

Presumably none of those women are married to the OP's DH though.

It might be a low risk - it might not. I mean, strippers aren't supposed to engage in sexual activity with clients, so if this is a true story, he's not exactly a man who takes precautions. Who knows what he has?

However, the point is, it is a risk, and it's therefore information that the husband in this scenario deserves to know.

You should not withhold a secret from a partner that could impact on their own health. That's unforgivable. The husband might forgive the activity, but I'd be surprised if he forgives covering it up. Given how many people were there, there's a high risk the truth with out anyway.

Better to rip the bandaid off and just tell him.

Well thats just a wilful misreading of @Panteranoir 's excellent post. She didn't say anything of the sort.

Like others had said, I think this thread is intended to be damaging.

Agree.

That’s a very narrow view. It’s damaging as it can be perceived women in the main behave like this. As said, they don’t, that’s how blokes behave and fantasise women do, women watching male strippers tend to scream and laugh themselves senseless

If you want to argue that both male and female punters who take part in sex acts with paid partners enjoy it, then fair enough.

I didn't read the whole thread after my last post. If people are saying that female punters do it for reasons not connected to sexual pleasure, yeah that does sound unlikely.

Enjoying sex with someone you paid to take part is grim, male or female, in my book. Whether the punter enjoyed their experience or not is not relevant (just my view)

women watching male strippers tend to scream and laugh themselves senseless

@Prettylittleroses That’s a very narrow view. It’s damaging as it can be perceived women in the main behave like this.