Invited to a party, then went to the pub

[Alloveranddonewith]

Friend had a kids party this weekend, play centre type place but booze included, parents generally all friends and always at each other parties etc
One of the dads arrived, promptly spoke to another dad and went with him to the pub a couple of doors down and didn’t return. Hosts had paid for a catered spread, provided nice drinks etc
The dads often chat and have drinks etc
I could see my friend looked a bit 😌

Would you find this rude and a bit hurtful or not be bothered?

I’d rather go for a quiet pint, than at a kids party, if I had someone to watch the kids.

@DustyLee123 Well, yes, I suppose anyone would rather do that, but when inviting and attending a party, would you do it? I’d feel rude

Same. I’d assume one parent was required to watch each child (assuming they’re very little), and wouldn’t realise that it was also supposed to be an adult social event.

I'd find that rude. Two men dumping their kids on other parents and sloping off, when the host had even provided drinks for them. I'd think of those men as selfish cheeky fuckers after that.

It was a kid's party. Is alcohol even allowed at play centres?

So you'd arrange to go for a quiet pint with your mate at a time that isn't during a party you've turned up to! It's not either/or.

@3dogsandarabbit In another country, it’s allowed, no problem

If it was a general family party then yes, it's rude. If it's a child party then the important thing is to take the child there, and parents staying is optional (depending on age of child, one parent staying or asking someone else to watch their child may be required).

It would never occur to be to stay at a child's party unless it was needed for supervision reasons.

I dont really see the issue.

were both of them the only parent?

Agree with redskytonight. If the invite was to my child for a kid's party then I would just drop and go, as staying is optional and parents rarely stay unless children are very young.

Its common here. Parties are dump and run or stay and mingle, no obligation on parents to do either it's entirely up to them. 2 dads sloping off to a different pub wouldn't even be noticed.

All the big play centers near me serve alcohol. Not a full bar but they have a basic selection of wine, beer and maybe cider.

Other parent was there, where we are parents don’t ever drop and go. But it’s more of a friendship group (well, supposedly!) and the dads often chat together etc, food is very good, drinks etc

No it isn't rude. It was a kid's party and parents are just there to transport. If the child is an age where they didn't need actual individual supervision then its fine to drop and run. Obviously you always let the host know that you aren't staying, and leave a phone number just in case.

So there were 2 parents there and one of them went to the pub? I don't see any issues with this at all.

@Whendoesmydietstart Its different than that, it’s seen as a family thing, this dad generally stays drinking and chats with hosts partners, for two off them to
bugger off seems rude

They probably didn't want to hang around at a child's party. Parents don't usually stay.

They might not even have been drinking alcohol in the pub depending on whether they had to drive.

Of course it’s rude- but there is a wealth of men who believe that anything child related is nothing to do with them and mum can deal with it.

I would never assume a dad’s attendance unless I was liasing with the father directly. I’d double check that they were coming and actually attending at point of invite.

I’m sure people will come at me saying ‘not my
nigel’ - but a large percentage of blokes would definitely use this an as an excuse for a bit of ‘me time’

It was a party for a child so it should be about the children not the adults, unless ox course the invite specified children and adults. The only thing I would question is who the Dads left in charge of their children? If the other parent was there or someone had agreed to watch their kids then fine.

OP you live in another country which probably has different norms for this kind of thing but you’re asking a UK forum if it’s rude. You won’t get an accurate answer other than ‘would this be rude in the uk?’.

In my DC’s school the kids parties are very much for the kids and you wouldn’t tend to have 2 parents take the kids anyway.

I don’t think it’s that weird that two men would rather go for a pint together than make small talk with a load of other people in a soft play centre, particularly if the child’s other parent was also there to supervise. I’d assume the organising parents had arranged for adult food and drinks for those who wanted to stay, not as an indicator that they were expecting parents to stay and were going to get upset and hurt if they didn’t.

I don't really get the whole 'adults coming to a children's party' thing that people seem to do these days, to be honest. So I think I would have thought that the adults staying was an optional thing, rather than an obligation.

So the child's other parent was there ? Look, I'm clearly not from where you are but for whatever reason, they didn't fancy staying and popped down the road and I don't see a problem with that.

So basically it would be the norm for all the adults to stay and socialise together, but on this occasion two men broke away from the group to go to the pub? My first thought would be that there was something they wanted to chat to each other about. How 'rude' that was would depend on the group size and how much they'd be missed. Absenting themselves from group of 8 parents would be very different from a group of 30.