To think I wasn’t in the wrong for not mentioning my allergy?

[ChiChaNaYubi]

My sister in law made a birthday cake for our father in laws birthday yesterday.
Turns out she used duck eggs in the batter, which make me violently sick and give me breathing problems. I wasn’t mad about it, I understand it’s a really odd thing to be allergic too but she’s absolutely livid with me for not telling her. Thing is, it just never occurred to me to ask tbh! It’s such a random allergy that I often forget about it as duck eggs are just not something I ever come across really. She been really quite nasty to me about it, calling me thick, irresponsible etc.

Is she being u reasonable to be so angry or am I for not asking ?

I think YABU. You said she lives in the country and got them from a farm shop. You should have mentioned it. I think she must have been so shocked with the thought you could have died, unwittingly at her hands. You'll get over being called thick and irresponsible.

Blimey I must be really common or just very thick.

I’m in my 50s and don’t think I’ve ever had a duck egg, and I know no one has ever told me they’ve cooked with duck eggs - despite living rurally for 30 years.

OP I think your sil is using attack as her form of defence. However, if you have a severe allergy rather than an intolerance then I think it’s up to you to check everything you eat with eggs as an ingredient.

Same. I'm allergic to eggs.
So I say I'm allergic to eggs. Wouldn't have occurred to me to specify a special type, as I wasnt aware of duck eggs being eaten before this thread tbh, so how are people with no allergy awareness or experience supposed to know?!
Good thing about this thread is it is raising awareness

Who puts duck eggs in cake batter?! No you were not unreasonable to not mention it.

She's probably angry because it put a dampner on her cake. Was it delicious? God, I'd just think of ducks if I ate a cake made of duck eggs. So weird.

I can't imagine not being apologetic if I were her. She's being so defensive.
I mean. Who puts duck eggs in a cake? Quackers!

@MyrtlethePurpleTurtle

What's this about butternut brownies?

"We are not talking about some exotic ingredient here"

I disagree!

She shouldn't have called you names, but probably had a fright!
Being allergic to eggs I state my egg allergy. You should too

I agree with your disagree

The different egg proteins will be subtly different. So some people will react to all egg proteins, and some just to specific ones

My two have milk and egg allergies and have been told to avoid all animal milks and all eggs.

DS is also allergic to nuts, lentils and kiwi.

It's a good idea to be aware of similar proteins so you know when trying new things whether there might be a heightened reaction risk. (Eg people with kiwi allergy are more likely to be allergic to latex, avocado and banana; people with milk allergies are often soya allergic)

I mean. Who puts duck eggs in a cake?
Quackers!
If you read the thread a lot of people
do as it makes for richer cakes apparently.

OK, I admit now I've read updates and pp points out allergic reactions can vary, I think YABU for not checking what you eat more carefully, and asking when it's food someone has prepared.

I know a few people who are allergic to eg brazil nuts but are quite laidback about it as their reaction is mild. This is obviously on them but that's what I was basing it on. I hadn't realised it could vary so much.

I admit I didn't read the thread properly. I was so perplexed.
Thank you for your summary ;)

She's probably angry because it put a dampner on her cake.

Or she's probably angry because she could have killed a family member and this could have all been avoided if the OP had explained about her allergy. The OP says she couldn't have mentioned it before as she didn't know her SIL was making a cake, but when presented with the cake she just ate it without checking.

Why wouldn’t they? Humans eat duck, quail, pheasants, etc and other birds besides chickens so why wouldn’t they also eat the eggs?

Still a dampner, no?
SIL is minimising it, I get that. I'm sticking up for the OP with this.
Dampner was/is an ironic word my sentence?!?

*in my sentence

How did you realise it was the duck eggs if she hadn't mentioned it before you ate it? Regardless to how awful she must be feeling, it doesn't warrant calling you thick. It's just one of those things

Really, given that several posters have said they use duck eggs in baking, and that they are available in supermarkets? OP apparently knew she was allergic to duck eggs before eating the cake, so she must have eaten them before. Just because you don't know about an ingredient doesn't make it exotic! I hate baking and rarely do any, but I have known for years that duck eggs are supposedly better.

"Really, given that several posters have said they use duck eggs in baking, and that they are available in supermarkets?"

I've never seen them in the supermarket and since I'm familiar with Tesco, Sainsbury's, Asda, etc. I'm coming to the conclusion they're not that popular. Also never heard of anyone eating them or baking with them. As others have mentioned, it may well be a class issue or some other reason why duck eggs are normal for certain groups of people and not for others.

" Humans eat duck, quail, pheasants, etc and other birds besides chickens so why wouldn’t they also eat the eggs?"

Never heard of people eating pheasant eggs either.

She’s being a bitch. Tell her you don’t appreciate you calling you thick.

A class issue??? I don't even live in the UK so definitely not "a class issue" here!! I can assure you that it is not something normal for "certain groups of people" either.

Incidentally, I just Googled duck eggs and the three supermarkets you mentioned, and they all sell them! Maybe it's just that you've never actually looked for them. Do you ask everyone you know what eggs they bake with?

😂😂😂

😂 and now I’ve been Bake-Shamed for not weighing my eggs when home baking. I use the 8-8-4 method, I don’t know anyone except pro bakers and Bake Off contestants who weigh their eggs for home cakes.

This thread is creeping towards peak MN.

"A class issue??? I don't even live in the UK so definitely not "a class issue" here!! I can assure you that it is not something normal for "certain groups of people" either."

Well it's not normal for anyone I know so it definitely does depend what kind of groups you mix in.