To think I wasn’t in the wrong for not mentioning my allergy?

[ChiChaNaYubi]

My sister in law made a birthday cake for our father in laws birthday yesterday.
Turns out she used duck eggs in the batter, which make me violently sick and give me breathing problems. I wasn’t mad about it, I understand it’s a really odd thing to be allergic too but she’s absolutely livid with me for not telling her. Thing is, it just never occurred to me to ask tbh! It’s such a random allergy that I often forget about it as duck eggs are just not something I ever come across really. She been really quite nasty to me about it, calling me thick, irresponsible etc.

Is she being u reasonable to be so angry or am I for not asking ?

Why bring class into it? What makes duck eggs middle class?

Upthread there is an accusation of SIL doing it deliberately ie attempted murder! Putting the “are duck eggs unusual” debate into the shade!

Why bring class into it? What makes duck eggs middle class?

Where the duck lives??!!

Depends on the duck and whether it says quack or quarck.

I now fully intend to make a cake with duck eggs! This enthusiasm for them in cakes needs some empirical study.
I've just checked, Ocado sell them...😂

Glad you're OK OP. Your SIL's reaction is not reasonable. Hopefully she'll calm down and apologise.

Hard to say who's unreasonable as it is just bad luck. I guess if it was a life threatening allergy, you would have told her.

I am surprised to hear duck eggs are used a lot in baking.

I bake a lot for local sales, know a lot of hobby bakers like myself, and never used or heard of anyone else using them! I also buy and eat a lot of cakes and never seen them as an ingredient. Never seen them suggested in recipes and I read a lot of cake recipes!

I do see duck eggs for sale in supermarkets but don't know anyone who buys them and didn't know it was a thing for baking!

I think you should have told her or checked. She went to effort and made a nice gesture but instead made you ill and it could have easily been avoided by her using chicken eggs instead or you not eating the cake. I can see why she is upset.

I imagine she is feeling bad, but I agree that she should have been told this long before now. Duck eggs might not be used often for baking, but they are used - I've heard of people using them for baking. It is up to you to let people know about your allergy. There is no need for her to be nasty, but you probably gave her a huge fright.

Duck eggs make me sick too OP! Although I'm pretty sure I don't have an allergy to them... they're just way too rich and sickly.

It's not on that she called you thick. That is so rude of her, even if it's coming from being worried.

She been really quite nasty to me about it, calling me thick, irresponsible etc.
WTF? I feel this has not had enough attention in the thread.

Very good

Oh I never tell people about obscure ingredients - some people would be put off that my super lush chcolate brownies have copious amounts of butternut squash in

Oh dear. But your omission has embarrassed her. I've switched to duck eggs in my cakes. They are delicious, but it's on my guests if they don't tell me.

They might not be the norm, but they certainly are used. How would you actually know if they are used in baking anyway - if you eat a piece of cake how do you know what kind of eggs are in it? We are not talking about some exotic ingredient here, I rarely ever bake but even I know that duck eggs are better.

Although I wouldn't say it to her face, if I were the SIL I would be thinking exactly this about the OP. It is stupid and irresponsible not to check what you are eating if you have a serious allergy.

I'm gluten intolerant I use duck eggs in cakes because it holds the cake together better than chicken eggs its not something I usually mention unless another gluten free person asks for the recipe

Op clearly does have an life threating allergy. Any allergic reaction that had an immediate response (IgE) can be fatal.

You don't know from one reaction to the next how serious the reaction will be in the same person.

You are playing russian roulette op if you aren't checking everything before eating it

I agree. I might not have said it to their face but i would definitely be thinking it!

Why did you even tell her about it - sounds to me like you have enjoyed blaming her.

Agree. I would have apologised to OP but also thought why wouldn’t you mention having an allergy no matter how obscure it is especially a serious one. I keep those in mind whenever I want to send some type of food gift to someone or making something where it’s going to be shared.

Whilst I hope I would have the self control not to tear into you, I would be thinking exactly the same as what your SIL said. And depending on how upset and shocked I was, I might not have had the self control to keep quiet. Like when a child runs into the road and has a near miss you perhaps don't immediately say sweet loving endearments to child but let rip (or maybe that's just me)

I didn't even know that humans eat duck eggs!

I think calling someone thick is extremely rude. The SIL is no doubt upset as her kind gesture went horribly awry, but insulting the OP is nasty.

Did FIL like the cake?

I voted YABU, but no one is really.
Your sil probably feels dreadful though, and in a panic as it’s drummed into us how dangerous allergies can be, which tipped it for me. If you have a serious allergy I think people cooking for you should know.

You don't know from one reaction to the next how serious the reaction will be in the same person
This is why I just don't risk as an allergy sufferer, it's just not worth it as you have no idea how the next reaction will go.