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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with "friend"?

170 replies

kayzisbroody · 23/02/2008 17:15

I recently went out with a couple of friends. 1 is one of my closest friends and the other is someone we both know from a mother and baby club.
We went a did a bit of shopping and then went for lunch. While we were having lunch the friend I'm closest too said that now she is on maternity leave she feels a bit lonely sometimes so I told her about MN. The other friend rolled her eyes but said nothing.

Then ds did a dirty nappy so I went to change him. When I got back the friend who isn't really a friend said "I don't see why you changed him, I only change dd in the morning and in the evening no matter how many poos she does." I smiled and said that I'd rather change a pooy nappy straight away and she said "Well you do work instead of stay at home and you talk to wierdos on the internet." I didn't say anything to that.

Surely when I change my ds's nappy has nothing to do with me not being a SAHM or talking on MN. Also I don't think we're wierdos.

OP posts:

Blueskythinker · 24/02/2008 12:53

These bloody routines!!

It makes me really cross that people need to feel their lives are ruled by routines. Certain prominent authors and channel 4 charletons gurus have a lot to answer for!

My children tend to eat & sleep at about the same time each day, but to suggest that you can't change a nappy due to their routine is nuts!

She is obviously crazy

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 24/02/2008 13:04

My routine was to change DS1's nappy every 2 hours so that I didn't forget to do it, or miss a dirty/wet one. An ok routine for me as it helped me. I see your point though.

cinnamontam · 24/02/2008 13:06

This is foul!! It's pure neglect. How stupid is this woman that she can't join the dots and see the nappy rash is a result of the paltry 2 nappy changes per day.

Poor little wee thing.

Mother needs to open her mind and bloody listen

elkiedee · 24/02/2008 13:32

2 nappy changes doesn't make sense as part of even the most bizarre routine, I don't see how a baby's going to eat and sleep comfortably if wet/dirty/sore.

Nappy changes on a giant nearly 10 month old are hard but of course we do them as needed. There was a point when I recognised his wet nappy cry (he seems to have stopped it) and it was so nice to have such a straightforward way of making him happy again, he'd stop as soon as I demonstrated taht I was going to change him (getting changing mat out outside or taking him to our bathroom at home).

I'm not ashamed to be weird, I won't be to return to work, I would be ashamed to neglect my baby like that.

SleepIsForTheWeak · 24/02/2008 13:45

She is a lazy horrid piece of work!
And you should be proud of yourself: able to work, and chat to us weirdos AND change your baby's nappies!

Original poster

kayzisbroody · 24/02/2008 13:54

There are times I really dont like changing ds's nappy, like when he is being silly and rolling over and wriggling. But I still do it.
I'll see her about 10 tomorrow so I'll let you know

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Bouncingturtle · 24/02/2008 14:29

Yes keep us all posted!

I remember when ds was 2 weeks old and it suddenly dawned me that I hadn't changed his nappy for 6 hours , I felt so horrible It was because I was full of cold and knackered because of his cluster feeding, which made me lose track of when I last changed him.
But to deliberately allow your child to sit in a shitty nappy is child cruelty.

mylovelymonster · 24/02/2008 17:16

.....I don't get it....still.....she's taken the decision to use washables, yet she doesn't like extra washing..........soooooooo rather than supplementing with a few disposables (and you can get some v. good more eco ones) she neglects her baby.......and the baby has bad nappy rash.....and this could lead to severe illness or sceptaceamia (excuse spelling).....but it's all because ahe's using washables.......which is usually a considered choice....................I think I would like to adopt the little one. Must be miserable and think mummy doesn't love her, I know my dd would. She wriggles and rolls and stands up but she gives me cuddles & kisses now when I change her - and daddy. This is really sad.

Original poster

kayzisbroody · 24/02/2008 17:28

I saw them today in the supermarket and her dd looked so happy. I think it must be because her dad changes her everytime she is fed. So its very obvious(sp) its the non-exsistant(sp) nappy changes.

OP posts:

SparklyGothKat · 24/02/2008 18:11

might be sily, but does she have enough reuseables?

Original poster

kayzisbroody · 24/02/2008 18:18

I'm not sure Sparkly, I'd assume so.

OP posts:

Original poster

kayzisbroody · 25/02/2008 11:22

Just seen supposed friend. The GP told her that she needs to change her dd at least once every 3 hours or she risks her getting blood poisoning and becoming seriously ill.
She had bought 2 pack of disposable nappies as she doesn't want to be washing all day.

She changed her while at M&B club for the first time ever so I really do hope the GP has got through to her.

OP posts:

OracleInaCoracle · 25/02/2008 11:23

oh thank god! can you arrange to do something weekly together while she's struggling (and it does sound like she is)

Original poster

kayzisbroody · 25/02/2008 11:28

We see each other every Monday and a few of us have said she can text us if she is bored and wants company.

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currantbunmum · 25/02/2008 11:29

I'm so glad she has finally taken some advice, I have been thinking about this poor baby all weekend.

Hope things continue to improve for her.

TinkerbellesMum · 25/02/2008 11:30

I don't change real nappies as often as I do disposables, but not by much. Often she does get two nappies a day, but that's only because she takes it off and refuses to have one on (19 months and decided a month ago she was potty training herself ) and that's only at home, if we're out the nappy stays on and it's changed a lot more than that.

As for washing, I have 18 nappies and 5 wraps, I wash them about every other day, if she is doing once a week washes, her house must smell too!

Definately think she is the weird one!

TinkerbellesMum · 25/02/2008 11:33

(if she isn't wearing nappies, I still go through the nappies cause they get used to clean up spills)

Glad to hear you friend is [ahem] cleaning up her act.

CrushWithEyeliner · 25/02/2008 11:36

Oh thank god for that kib another one here who can't stop thinking about this poor baby - can you keep monitoring the situation?

Imagine the relief she must feel - Jesus what a control freak - I do fear for her DD in other ways she obviously doesn't think of her as a person in her own right.

Original poster

kayzisbroody · 25/02/2008 11:38

She has to take her dd to the clinic to see the hv every week now instead of once a month, so they can monitor the nappy rash.

OP posts:

CrushWithEyeliner · 25/02/2008 12:48

my goodness it must have been bad - the poor thing

dingdong05 · 25/02/2008 14:17

I've been worried for this lo too, and so pleased the gp has said something that she seems to be taking on board.
Here's hoping she's turned the corner.
x

Bouncingturtle · 25/02/2008 14:29

Thanks for letting us know, am relieved to hear she is finally taking some advice and that the hv is monitoring the situation.

mumblesmummy · 25/02/2008 14:39

I don't mean to sound awful, but is she sort of rough? And stinky herself? Or is she generally lazy? Or is she just weird and thinks she's right??

That is neglectful.. and sick.
Why have a baby if you're not prepared to change nappies.

And she's letting her daughter become the 'smelly kid in class'. Who wants that??!!

Urgh imagine sitting in your own poop all day.

minouminou · 25/02/2008 14:40

i've been thinking about her over the weekend, too...thank god someone's got through to her, and that her behaviour is being monitored

Original poster

kayzisbroody · 25/02/2008 14:41

I think she may just be wierd as she is always impeccable, she wears only very expensive brand names and looks in a compact mirror every 10 minutes.
Her kids are in really expensive clothes as se moans if either of the lo make a mess.

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