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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with "friend"?

170 replies

kayzisbroody · 23/02/2008 17:15

I recently went out with a couple of friends. 1 is one of my closest friends and the other is someone we both know from a mother and baby club.
We went a did a bit of shopping and then went for lunch. While we were having lunch the friend I'm closest too said that now she is on maternity leave she feels a bit lonely sometimes so I told her about MN. The other friend rolled her eyes but said nothing.

Then ds did a dirty nappy so I went to change him. When I got back the friend who isn't really a friend said "I don't see why you changed him, I only change dd in the morning and in the evening no matter how many poos she does." I smiled and said that I'd rather change a pooy nappy straight away and she said "Well you do work instead of stay at home and you talk to wierdos on the internet." I didn't say anything to that.

Surely when I change my ds's nappy has nothing to do with me not being a SAHM or talking on MN. Also I don't think we're wierdos.

OP posts:
mumofdjandp · 23/02/2008 22:02

I just cant understand leaving a child in a dirty nappy for hours espec when they have nappy rash its just cruel

Ileave ds2 for a bit as he does half his poo then a few mins later does the rest

I feel bad if his bum is even a bit red like im not doing my job which is ridiculous really but I do!

WallOfSilence · 23/02/2008 22:04

Aw that's awful The poor baby

FourPlusOne · 23/02/2008 22:04

I use cloth and they do usually need to be changed a bit more often than disps anyway (regardless of whether a poo has been done) as they reach a saturation point much more quickly (overnight they can be boosted to the max to last the 12 hours).

Have never heard of anyone leave their baby this long without changing. Poo should be cleaned off the skin immediately and this womans HV should intervene. My 2 have both occasionally had nappy rash and it is definitely worse if I don't realise they have done a poo and it is on their skin for a little while. It is horrible and painful for them to have. That poor baby must be in pain.

YANBU she sounds like an awful woman.

Fimbo · 23/02/2008 22:10

. I have started a thread, hopefully she might notice it, if she's a lurker.

LyraSilvertongue · 23/02/2008 22:15

What thread Fimbo?

SummerC · 23/02/2008 22:15

Has nothing to do with you not being a SAHM and everything to do with you being a GOOD mum! Poor wee bum.

LyraSilvertongue · 23/02/2008 22:16

That was a really odd comment. You change your son's nappies because you go out to work. Oh, ok then...

oliviaelanasmum · 23/02/2008 22:23

I also know someone who bragged that she rarely had to buy nappies as she only used 2 a day!
My lo is in cloth and is changed every 3-4 hours, immediately after pooing and before i go out in the car. How hard is it to get nappies from a bucket and into a washing machine? It takes 5 mins max!

moljam · 23/02/2008 22:23

im shocked hv hasnt taken it furthur- it is neglect!poor baby.

moljam · 23/02/2008 22:26

i also know a mum that said she doesnt change for wees just poos.
and as an ex cloth user(were potty training!) id love to know what nappy she uses that will go that long!not that id want to do it ofcourse!

schneebly · 23/02/2008 22:34

amd

Maybe you could tell her about this news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4329385.stm

SparklyGothKat · 23/02/2008 22:35

poor baby I change Callum aout 6-8 times a day, and I use reuseables. I love nappy changes, he grins and laughs at me, and tries to roll away from me as soon as the nappy is off No wonder the poor girl has nappy rash, the other day I didn't realise Callum had done a poo and didn't change him straight away and he was a bit sore, which had cleared up the next day with some cream, but sereve nappy rash isn't going to disappear without regular changes.

SparklyGothKat · 23/02/2008 22:37

oh and if I don;t change him for about 4 hours his clothes get soaked.

StealthPolarBear · 23/02/2008 22:38

yes good point I bet it's not just her nappies that need changing, i wonder if her clothes get changed as well

mumofdjandp · 23/02/2008 22:42

the question is what else doesnt she do?

does she feed her twice a day?

bath her twice a year?

I think you should phone ss and tell them anon your concerns I am being serious this is not normal behaviour!

OracleInaCoracle · 23/02/2008 22:48

at the article.

agree maybe a word with hv and/or a call to ss might be in order

shaqpe · 23/02/2008 22:49

I take care of a child who wears reusable nappies and his have to be changed roughly every 2.5 hours.. sometimes his nappy has already leaked by the 2 hour mark.
I can't believe any mother could let her child sit in poo for hours. Her little one must be so miserable.. poor thing

SummerC · 23/02/2008 22:50

I agree with mumofdjandp. She needs to be reported. Mind you, saying that, her hv should also be reported!

moljam · 23/02/2008 22:50

schneebly at article!
kayzisbroody-id show this stupid woman that article.

Original poster
kayzisbroody · 23/02/2008 22:52

God that story is horrible. I might print it out and give it to her on monday if she says she is going to ignore the gp.

OP posts:
mylovelymonster · 23/02/2008 22:55

so if she's a sahm, what does she do all day? why can't she make sure her baby is comfortable? why is she a sahm if she doesn't seem to care about LO?....i don't get it....poor little lamb..........

mumofdjandp · 23/02/2008 22:57

I dont get it either?
I am by no means a fabulous mother I have bad moments like we all do but I do like my children clean and happy

Please keep us posted

mylovelymonster · 23/02/2008 22:57

omg - that article is heartbreaking.....

hifi · 23/02/2008 23:08

someone my mum knows drys nappys with wee in them on the radiator and uses again, disposables. this woman needs a quick kick up the arse, she obviously cant cope with cloth. my dd couldnt eat with a dirty nappy., god knows how this baby feels.

moljam · 23/02/2008 23:09

hifi eeeew

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