To be fed up with men trying to have conversations with me in jacuzzi?

[Uppitydown]

I'm rather an introvert and I have worsened since my menopause started.

The jacuzzi etc improves my mental health, I zone out a bit and try to relax.

I wear earphones and enjoy listening to music and true crime podcasts for ideas. I also think it ought to give off a very big Do Not Disturb message. But nope, at least once a session a man tries to talk to me about nothing important or gestures for me to remove the earbuds.

I just look apologetic and point to my ears and try to ignore.

Some will perservere. One even, after I did take them out, tell me I was being unsociable.

It's never been a woman. They'll just smile nicely, and get on with their own time.

The situation saddens me greatly and spoils the down time somewhat.

A friend thinks differently and says they only want to small talk with you. So I really don't know if I'm being unreasonable, hence AIBU posting.

YABU - you shouldn't mind, they're only being pleasant.

YANBU - they should take the cues an leave you in peace.

You shouldn't have to, but I would close my eyes as well as using headphones 😆. Seriously though, these men are so entitled, you owe them nothing.

Say "sorry I can't hear you" and ignore them.

A friend thinks differently and says they only want to small talk with you.

But so what? Why do the wants of a strange man override what you want? YANBU.

Don't even say sorry.

Just say "I've got my earphones in"

Yanbu. Maybe you have the reverse of a resting bitch face!

They can fuck off to the far side of fuck. And your friend too. Sorry but this kind of shite gives me the rage! Why should you speak to them? You don’t owe men conversation. So intrusive and entitled.

This reminds me of an article some nobber wrote about how to engage women on public transport who were reading/had headphones in. The comments were all "YOU'RE THE REASON WE DO IT".

I find the taking the headphone out about a millimeter, posed to put it back in, minimal answer does the trick. Sometimes.

Some will perservere. One even, after I did take them out, tell me I was being unsociable.

id reply 'yes I am, that was the point of earphones. If I'd wanted to socialise I wouldn't be wearing them' but then I can be a grumpy bitch when someone interrupts my very valuable me time.

Found the creepy fucknugget and his justifications. Now a need a shower:

www.themodernman.com/dating/how-to-talk-to-a-woman-who-is-wearing-headphones.html

Yes I remember that. No self awareness

Oh, that’s cool. You had me worried there. I thought you were like a heavy metal girl who likes headbanging at concerts

Well on the plus side he apparently wouldnt like my choice of music if he spoke to me. Excellent, I knew it had its uses!

‘Listening to heavy metal…’ ‘well I was until some fucking twat interrupted me, what do you want?’

It's not your job to entertain them with small talk.
I'd say sorry, can't hear you I just want to chill and listen to music, smile and close your eyes a little.

I only go in the jacuzzi if it’s empty and if anyone gets in I get out straight away.

I was reading the “messages of support” and thinking “these are all sarcastic, aren’t they?”

Still not totally sure 🤔

YANBU
I don't want anyone making small talk with me in the jacuzzi.

Why should a women be told to centre random men's desire for small talk in her own relaxation time.

Am I the only one thinking 'what jacuzzi? Where?' ?

I was reading the “messages of support” and thinking “these are all sarcastic, aren’t they?”

Not sure he'd know since he appears baffled by social convention @Saschka

I keep thinking of music to tell Random Man I'm listening to. Fuck Da Police is on the playlist. As are many other songs worse than any heavy metal.

Can you imagine being impressed by a guy who

a) makes you take out your headphones
b) tells you you look like you like heavy metal music (what the hell does that even mean)
c) then ends the conversation with a flourish by talking about what veggies he's buying in Tesco's.

And this is advice from a self proclaimed dating guru. I'm the first to say I'm really shit at social chitchat but really I could do a lot better than this.

I go for the closed eyes semi trance like tactic.

You just did. I'd definitely rather talk to you than him.

Just say 'sorry. I'm on a call'.

Can absolutely relate to this. Years ago I actually had one man take my earphone out of my ear to talk to me. I was so astounded I didn't even know what to do!
I avoid any sauna or jacuzzi with men using it. Makes me really uncomfortable and on edge.

I seem to always get stuck with men like this on trains and planes. I have more than once taken out a sick bag and told them I am feeling unwell and am listening to music to distract me from my nausea. They leave me alone after that (and try to move seats). Sadly not sure if that will work in your circumstances op.

Omg I legit would have smacked them as a fright response.