To be fed up with men trying to have conversations with me in jacuzzi?

[Uppitydown]

I'm rather an introvert and I have worsened since my menopause started.

The jacuzzi etc improves my mental health, I zone out a bit and try to relax.

I wear earphones and enjoy listening to music and true crime podcasts for ideas. I also think it ought to give off a very big Do Not Disturb message. But nope, at least once a session a man tries to talk to me about nothing important or gestures for me to remove the earbuds.

I just look apologetic and point to my ears and try to ignore.

Some will perservere. One even, after I did take them out, tell me I was being unsociable.

It's never been a woman. They'll just smile nicely, and get on with their own time.

The situation saddens me greatly and spoils the down time somewhat.

A friend thinks differently and says they only want to small talk with you. So I really don't know if I'm being unreasonable, hence AIBU posting.

YABU - you shouldn't mind, they're only being pleasant.

YANBU - they should take the cues an leave you in peace.

I honestly was so staggered by it I just stood there while he held put my headphone and asked me my name. Grim. This was in the gym. I think I just mumbled something and walked off. I'm sure I got classed as a miserable bitch. I now have my own home gym!

I'm not up for chatting. End of.

@MrsTerryPratchett maybe add bloody motherfucking arsehole to the playlist for occasions like this 😀

Good call!

We are not support humans for men.

Shock, horror, human beings trying to interact with each other.

My friend has had similar and does sign language at them, then they fuck off. She is actually fluent in BSL so I guess if the annoying man also did BSL it wouldn't work.

Exactly

I'm chatty. To lots of people.

I don't with people who clearly don't want to. Headphones are that sign.

Close your eyes and ignore

Maybe like me, you have the opposite of bitchy resting face: friendly round peasant face is my default expression and everyone, especially men, just always talk to me in the sauna (my haven)

No earphones either as my phone would cook in there

So I just endure it and have these bland conversations with about 20% of my brain , whilst the rest of my brain is daydreaming

No solution as yet

(If I follow my own advice and close my eyes, I'd fall asleep and cook to death)

Urgh OP I feel you. I hate that it’s always men who do this and they NEVER do it to other men either!

Ive had men try to stop me whilst fcking out jogging and I clearly have headphones on to talk inane chit chat about absolute nonsense. I’ve become so fed up that I just ignore them now. I don’t give a flying toss if they think I’m rude or unsociable- they can go and talk to someone else. As others have said, we don’t exist to provide attention and interaction with random men.

I used to get this shit a lot in my younger days.

Order a personalised eye mask online with 'don't talk to me' or 'fuck off I'm relaxing' on it.

You could always speak to management about it. Emphasize they may lose a customer.

Bitchy resting face isn't a thing. It's just women not looking how (some) men expect women to look. Men with serious and disinterested expressions when resting don't get told they have a bitchy resting face. Or whatever the male equivalent of bitchy is, if there is one.

I don't know what the answer is OP. The issue is that these men have an expectation that they are entitled to interrupt you. They're already not responding to several obvious signs of not wanting to chat. Maybe you could speak to the management about it and ask for jacuzzi guidelines to be circulated, which include not interrupting people who are wearing headphones?

I watched the first episode of that new menopause comedy on channel 4 earlier. Forgotten it's title. Anyway.... spoiler alert...she has this kind of scenario in a pub and her response was beautiful.

🙄

Yes God forbid someone should attempt to make human conversation with someone else jeeez

Me - urrrgh there is no way I would be in a public jacuzzi.

@booboo82 yeah, fair enough, give it a go if that person isn't wearing headphones. People are allowed downtime without having to entertain random strangers.

Ugh, I’m a man and men even do this to me - I have no idea why, but it’s bloody annoying.
Obviously (probably) a different motive, but still annoying as fuck.

Creepy fucknugget is so apt and made me do a much needed snorty laugh through my nose, thanks MrsTerryPratchett!

I would hate this. My gym has very sadly closed the jacuzzi. However I rarely got a chance to go in for 10 minutes after my swim because men would sit in it for literally 45 minutes never moving once. Never seemed to think that others might want a turn. Women got in for 10 then out again. And the men always talked a lot to everyone so it wasn't exactly relaxing. Now they hog the steam room and sauna but at least it's dark enough that I don't feel looked at.

Public jacuzzi, how grim

I would not want to be disturbed but that's why I would not use a public jacuzzi. I would have thought earbuds were a clue but they're not always obvious.
Tbh though I don't think it's odd to make a bit of small talk in a public place and if eg 2 friends were there I'd expect to here then chatter maybe, like going for a coffee.
I don't think I'd feel the same about say a sauna.

"Dan has enjoyed many women of his choice over the years.......😳"