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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up with men trying to have conversations with me in jacuzzi?

110 replies

Uppitydown · 27/06/2023 19:59

I'm rather an introvert and I have worsened since my menopause started.

The jacuzzi etc improves my mental health, I zone out a bit and try to relax.

I wear earphones and enjoy listening to music and true crime podcasts for ideas. I also think it ought to give off a very big Do Not Disturb message. But nope, at least once a session a man tries to talk to me about nothing important or gestures for me to remove the earbuds.

I just look apologetic and point to my ears and try to ignore.

Some will perservere. One even, after I did take them out, tell me I was being unsociable.

It's never been a woman. They'll just smile nicely, and get on with their own time.

The situation saddens me greatly and spoils the down time somewhat.

A friend thinks differently and says they only want to small talk with you. So I really don't know if I'm being unreasonable, hence AIBU posting.

YABU - you shouldn't mind, they're only being pleasant.

YANBU - they should take the cues an leave you in peace.

OP posts:
user50316 · 27/06/2023 21:51

Yes I get this. Also in the sauna and steam. It's relentless. Never the women - they just smile and nod. But if I'm on my own I always get some man trying to strike up conversation

ilovesooty · 27/06/2023 21:55

BodegaSushi · 27/06/2023 20:46

Am I the only one thinking 'what jacuzzi? Where?' ?

They've closed the jacuzzi in my gym. It costs too much to run.

Theseboobsweremadeforwalking · 27/06/2023 21:56

Could you try and mention you're on your period somehow, I feel like these kinds of men might be put off by it, or even better leave the jacuzzi (they won't know if you're menopausal), something like "I'm listening to bloody mother fucking arsehole, it really helps with my intense period cramps and heavy flow."

Knnniggets · 27/06/2023 22:02

I once had this when I was in the jacuzzi chatting in English with a friend. Rando tries to engage with us in German. Friend without skipping a beat goes: ‘sorry I don’t understand German’.

We both speak fluent German. It was beautiful.

Ottersmith · 27/06/2023 22:02

Perhaps you should write to them and suggest women's only sessions. The pool near me does that.

Anothermam · 27/06/2023 22:05

Ugh, happened to me in a sauna once. Yanbu.

Stormydanielss · 27/06/2023 22:05

Ugh 😑
This is on the lines of "smile! It might never happen" 😩
How about learning fuck off cock head in another language and pop the earbuds back in with a smile

ThatFraggle · 27/06/2023 22:15

Makes me think of this: The parton saint of women who don't want to be disturbed in public

To be fed up with men trying to have conversations with me in jacuzzi?
ThatFraggle · 27/06/2023 22:16

*patron

Woods52 · 27/06/2023 22:34

YANBU.
A snarky grimace and cold stare usually works for me.

Ps got any good True Crime podcast recommends?

EllaRaines · 27/06/2023 22:39

I can't get my head around you sitting in a jacuzzi with the same water swirling around a complete strangers bum hole as yours, let alone worry about them speaking to you.

Libraryloiterer · 27/06/2023 22:45

How do you wear earpods in a jacuzzi? Where is your phone in all this? Doesn't it get wet?!

Oh and of course YANBU!

ThatFraggle · 27/06/2023 22:50

Libraryloiterer · 27/06/2023 22:45

How do you wear earpods in a jacuzzi? Where is your phone in all this? Doesn't it get wet?!

Oh and of course YANBU!

Wireless waterproof earbuds (about £20). The phone can be in the locker and it will still work. I wear mine in the shower.

AngelinaFibres · 27/06/2023 22:54

Thankfulforthenewday · 27/06/2023 20:41

I only go in the jacuzzi if it’s empty and if anyone gets in I get out straight away.

This. The idea of sitting in a big tub of hot water with a semi naked man I dont know is actually really odd. Headphones and closing my eyes os not something I would ever be doing.

namitynamechange · 27/06/2023 22:55

start twitching and humming along in an extremely disjointed way to the music.

PurpleChrayne · 27/06/2023 22:58

Find a female-only jacuzzi.

merrymelodies · 27/06/2023 22:59

Me missing the point and thinking of the faecal matter found in jacuzzis. 🤢

sonearly · 27/06/2023 23:05

booboo82 · 27/06/2023 21:32

Yes God forbid someone should attempt to make human conversation with someone else jeeez

Someone wearing earbuds or headphones that you don't know, eyes closed, sitting in a jacuzzi, you have to have really serious boundary issues to try and force them into a conversation. That would be aggressively disrespectful of other people's space.

We can all agree that much is obvious, right?

SheSaidHummingbird · 27/06/2023 23:06

@Uppitydown Are you allowed to wear headphones in the jacuzzi? I love this!

bridgetreilly · 27/06/2023 23:08

A couple of times before it closed I got to go to The Sanctuary. It was gorgeous in many ways, but especially because it was women-only. No pervy blokes trying to hit on anyone.

jackstini · 27/06/2023 23:12

Tell them you are practicing spell incantations or praying
One or the other puts most people off Grin

I just close my eyes and ignore them

cassiatwenty · 27/06/2023 23:18

YANBU

k1233 · 27/06/2023 23:24

Maybe give them a quote from Pink - I'm not here for your entertainment

sonearly · 27/06/2023 23:38

jackstini · 27/06/2023 23:12

Tell them you are practicing spell incantations or praying
One or the other puts most people off Grin

I just close my eyes and ignore them

I wouldn't assume the second one was a good idea. Some perverts seem to be drawn towards women of faith not away from them.

TheGoogleMum · 27/06/2023 23:41

YANBU, if someone has earphones in they clearly don't want to engage in small talk.