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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thoughts on teacher’s comment

133 replies

RexMyDarling · 27/06/2023 11:54

was at a kids birthday party over the weekend and a random child I’ve never spoken to (or his parents) and who is not a particular from of my DD came up to me and said that everyone knows DD does no work in class. DD is probably ADHD (as I am) so it’s not a surprise to me, but it was a surprise that he knew this when he doesn’t sit next to her. Or even on the same table.

He went on to explain that DD had offered to take some work home to complete it to the teacher but the teacher had said ‘you only want to do that so your mum can do it for you!’ And I’m stunned. I’m a secondary school teacher, which the class teacher knows, so a little professional courtesy wouldn’t go amiss here but also why is this being announced to the whole class?

DD doesn’t say much about school but I asked her this and she agreed it was said.

She’s year 3. AIBU to think you don’t say things like this to the class at general? AIBU to be pissed off that my daughter’s difficulties are broadcast like this? Is it a safeguarding issue do you think?

Not bashing teachers because I believe in supporting my colleagues but feel this particular one has stepped out of line.

OP posts:
electriclight · 27/06/2023 16:11

I am basing my responses on the fact that about 99% of parents coming in to 'have a word' about something I've allegedly said or done, slink off looking sheepish once they've heard a full explanation. So tedious to spend time dealing with this utter nonsense.

Sugargliderwombat · 27/06/2023 16:46

I'm a teacher too and two kids separately saying this means the teacher probably did say it. It's a tough profession and noone is perfect so maybe the teacher made a momentary error. It's not on at all though and I'd be concerned about your dd forming a negative narrative around herself and her self esteem being affected.

Quinoawoman · 27/06/2023 16:49

user1497782758 · 27/06/2023 13:55

Yeah you're right, it'll probably be all over the news tomorrow. If only she had posted on an anonymous forum that only a small proportion of the population use... 🤔

Yes, because this kind of thing never happens with mumsnet threads...

Thoughts on teacher’s comment
calimali · 27/06/2023 16:57

I'm struggling to understand how this could possibly be a safeguarding issue.

missmollygreen · 27/06/2023 17:01

Surely the bigger issue here is that you know you child does no work in class because "they are probably ADHD" And you seem just fine with this.

You are just pissed off as you DDs teacher is calling you out

SkaterBrained · 27/06/2023 19:09

It depends on whether DD had been doing it, not managed to finish it and said she'd do so at home (the narrative everyone here is assuming).

If she just got distracted or didn't feel like doing it then, there was time to do it, but she was dismissively saying she'd take it home instead, Then it isn't a bad response, it's a normal banter-y one that essentially says "get on with it."

ReachForTheMars · 27/06/2023 19:22

What do you mean, by professional courtesy?

Because you're a teacher you should be treated differently?

It would be ok for the teacher to say that about a child if their parent wasn't a teacher?

I8toys · 27/06/2023 19:33

I can't believe as a teacher, a professional and someone working in the same job that you wouldn't automatically go and ask the teacher themselves regarding your concerns but instead post on parenting forum. Bizarre.

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