to not go to this wedding for this reason? Socially acceptable reason?

[umperi]

A long term but distant friend is getting married in august. Dc will be 8 months. No kids are allowed at the wedding or reception and neither is my DP. I really don’t want to leave dc for the day. It will take a long time to get there and travel back so essentially will be gone most of the day. Is this a socially acceptable reason not to go? So far they think I am going as months back I thought I would enjoy it but I just don’t feel able to go anymore, I don’t want to be apart from dc so long. AIBU?

When my son was 8 months he was still napping twice a day and no one could do it but me. Also meals and feeding etc. If we veered off schedule it’d mess his routine for a couple
days after that. On that basis only I’d say I’d not go, but I’m someone who had no family help whatsoever apart from hubby so we went a bit over on his routine and missed out on a lot. Go with your gut you won’t regret it

I think it's fine to be honest and say back in September you assumed you'd be able to leave the baby easily but unfortunately you can't.

We certainly didn't have to finalise numbers with the venue until much closer to our wedding date so wouldn't have been put out by this, or out of pocket.

I wouldn't have gone when my Daughter was 8 months.. she was breast fed for two years...who was going to do that?

I find childfree weddings pretentious and boring, so I'd be quite happy to not go. You are giving them enough notice to invite someone else instead or adjust catering numbers.

It's not at all weird not to want to leave your child for a whole day at 8 months old btw, there's nothing wrong with people who do want to do that but criticising you for feeling that way is very odd.

Nothing wrong with changing your mind, whatever your reason, but please let them know asap, or they will be left having to pay for you. I’d probably offer to cover the cost tbh, if it’s too late.

W2 months is sufficient notice? It's not two weeks! She can invite someone else. That's what you get for not inviting the rest of the family!

I have a 7mo and no chance I'm leaving her to go to an all day wedding.

Why did your DP accept an invitation for a stag do when you had already booked to go to this wedding?

It's totally fine. Some people have a reserve list. I oncr got upgraded from evening to day guest at a wedding due ti drop outs

Just email and say sorry but you can no longer attend. Send card . Don't explain

I'd feel like you but honestly if you don't go you'll lose your friend

So you rsvp in September for an August wedding? You were presumably pregnant at the time

Of course they will get drop offs. They sent round invitations 11 months before?

Don't stress it

I would let your friend know today that you aren't attending if that is your gut feeling.

I wouldn't worry about whether or not people think you're a wet blanket but you do need to be reasonable and ensure your friend isn't left out of pocket.

I planned to leave my DS when he was 8mo with a family member for a wedding but I couldn't. I did RSVP as late as the invite allowed to see how I would be feeling though. What's the point in going and being miserable? It would have to be a sibling or very close friend's wedding for me to stress myself out like that.

Worth bearing in mind that going to a busy, formal social occasion where the only person you know is the person getting married (and will therefore be too busy to hang out with you anyway) is not actually everyone’s idea of fun (it certainly isn’t mine).

I had someone drop out of my wedding two days before, no reason given, just said they weren’t coming any more. I was a bit miffed but I got over it…

Did you know in Sep that you alone were invited?

Just decline citing childcare issues.

There is a lot of judgement - “wet blanket” etc. There‘d be uproar if that judgement was going the other way.

@BlockbusterVideoCard

child free weddings are fabulous!!