Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ideation that girl babies are better than boy babies.

344 replies

Supremechicken · 24/06/2023 19:41

In my family it’s very heavily opinionated that boy babies are an ‘aww better luck next time’ and girl babies are an amazing gift.

My sisters were saying the other day that when they see a gender reveal on Facebook they don’t tend to like or react to the boy ones but the girls they feel excited for.

I don’t really see the difference .

Is there something I’m missing?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
SunnyEgg · 24/06/2023 21:37

groupery · 24/06/2023 21:34

Almost all young boys are drawn to babies and buggies but how many parents have actually supplied their baby son with one to play with.

Me, although we already had it. Have friends with only boys who bought pushchairs etc.

Ds had a toy pram too, he put his teddy in it. Also a cooker and a mini hoover. Dd has a cooker but no hoover as I don’t think she needs help in that direction. No toy pram either

She does do ballet though, but Ds did gymnastics. So it’s a bit of a mix

Senorfrijoles · 24/06/2023 21:37

Icecolddrink · 24/06/2023 20:29

I feel gender disappointment is very taboo. If you voice it, even on so called safe spaces, you are subject to some really awful criticism.

I am due DC2 soon. I haven’t found out the sex because I didn’t want to feel disappointment, even fleetingly. I think that’s what is missed: I don’t WANT to feel this way. I want to be as excited about a little boy as a girl. I already feel so bad about it. I know I’ll love and cherish any child so much but I also think I will feel a bit flat if it is a boy.

Why? I don’t know: I really wish I did. I know it’s not princesses and pink. It is something deeper, perhaps. Either way I don’t like it but I can’t actually help it.

I suspect there is an evolutionary pull at play. Part of why we have children is a biological drive to carry on the species (I know not everyone feels this way but many people do). It makes sense that a part of that drive is for a part of us to carry on. Perhaps we see more of ourselves in a child of the same sex?

I've spoken about gender disappointment with dsis (who has 2 ds) and with friends of all male children. It's definitely a thing for a lot of people.

I have a DS, genuinely didn't feel disappointed because it's a blooming miracle he's here, but I do get why some people are disappointed.

Catlover1705 · 24/06/2023 21:38

A daughter is a daughter all of your life; a son is a son until he takes a wife. Unfortunately, this has proven true in my wider family.

WJC1981 · 24/06/2023 21:38

In general I see it as a girl is what a man wants and a boy for a mum but I wouldn't say one is better than the other but it does happen in certain cultures boys are prised higher than girls. I wanted a girl from the start and that's what I got.

RiseYpres · 24/06/2023 21:38

Shinier · 24/06/2023 21:36

If I see someone has had a son I do feel a bit sorry for them tbh

This thread has flabbergasted me.

Illumicrateme · 24/06/2023 21:39

I get it, I was pregnant with DC2 and my heart was hoping for a girl, but my head didn't mind. I was so worried I would feel gender disappointment. Turns out DC2 was a boy, and I was ok when I found out. Mostly I think i was worried about the crappy boy clothes section, but there are hidden gems there. And some lovely boys names to. Now my son is the best thing ever. He has a sister who I love dearly but boy love is different. I am kind of worried about being a MIL though!

WJC1981 · 24/06/2023 21:39

A lot of cultures prize one gender above the other

GilChesterton · 24/06/2023 21:40

I selfishly wanted a daughter more than a son... I know it isn't very logical as a child could have any personality and interests.

Same, but have no idea why. Would not have been disappointed with a boy, but really wanted my first to be a girl.

WJC1981 · 24/06/2023 21:40

If stay off the Internet then this is nothing unexpected

SallyWD · 24/06/2023 21:42

Shinier · 24/06/2023 21:36

If I see someone has had a son I do feel a bit sorry for them tbh

My God, how utterly bizarre.

mumonherphone · 24/06/2023 21:42

Shinier · 24/06/2023 21:36

If I see someone has had a son I do feel a bit sorry for them tbh

That's you projecting your own feelings. I'd find it very odd if someone felt sorry for me for having a son. I'm thrilled with him.

MeinKraft · 24/06/2023 21:42

I only ever see this on mumsnet. Where I live everyone wants a boy. Maybe because we have a big farming community here and boys are prized because they can help with the farm. I had a son then a daughter and we were often congratulated on having a 'gentleman's family' Confused

violetsunrise · 24/06/2023 21:43

WJC1981 · 24/06/2023 21:38

In general I see it as a girl is what a man wants and a boy for a mum but I wouldn't say one is better than the other but it does happen in certain cultures boys are prised higher than girls. I wanted a girl from the start and that's what I got.

Going by this thread girls seem to be valued more in in British culture(sadly). I have one of each and love them both the same. I just can’t get over that there’s people on this thread doubting that they’ll love a son as much as they would a daughter!

SparklingMarkling · 24/06/2023 21:43

It’s personal preference and women are allowed to voice that if they wish. I have three children two sons and a daughter. I would have tried for a fourth had I had three sons. I was grateful to be able to parent both sexes and I was lucky enough to get my wish. If I was only having one child though I would have hoped for a daughter.

Holly60 · 24/06/2023 21:44

SnuggleBuggleBoo · 24/06/2023 20:06

I'd be hugely disappointed to have a boy. One of the reasons I've decided not to have any children. I dislike the things boys are stereotypically interested in - vehicles, football, fighting, farts, superheros, dinosaurs, guns, their genitaliia, monsters, rough-and-tumble etc (and yes, of course I know that not all boys are like that and it's perfectly possible to have a daughter who is, but statistically speaking it's far more likely with a boy, and if I had a boy who wasn't into all that stuff I'd be worrying he was so different from his peers he'd be ostracised!)

In my experience boys have a completely different style of play than girls. Set up a small world zoo and a girl will have little families walking around looking at the animals, buying an ice-cream at the cafe, a zookeeper giving a talk... A boy will have the lions driving the zoo jeep (which can also fly, maybe occasionally squashing the little people flat!?) I just can't relate to that. It annoys me.

Boys grow into men and I, for the most part, don't like men. Aggressive, sex- crazed, selfish, intimidating, misogynistic, all that fun stuff. It's depressing to think you can plough your life into trying to ensure your son turns out right and then he goes and grooms a bloody 15 year old when he's in his mid 30s (one of my school mates, a former 'head boy', popular lad and pillar of the community did just this). I'd hate to have a son.

Oh dear yes probably for the best you aren't going to have a baby.

Obviously terrible if you'd had a boy as you would have hated him and no little boy deserves that from his mother.

Equally terrible if you'd had a girl and you'd brought her up to believe that 50% of the population are evil. Then you would have had all sorts of issues if she'd been heterosexual - you would have had a son-in-law which obviously would have been awful. Then she might have had male children and you would have had grandsons which obviously would have been totally horrible for you,

Much better not to have children at all for sure

SleepingStandingUp · 24/06/2023 21:46

Shinier · 24/06/2023 21:36

If I see someone has had a son I do feel a bit sorry for them tbh

You can shove your pity when pps sisters shove their lime slices. No pity needed for my 3 gorgeous boys thanks.

MidnightInAustin · 24/06/2023 21:47

If anyone feels this way and doesn’t change their thinking, they will mess up their relationship with all their children whether they’re boys or girls. They will also fuck up the relationship between their children.

Holly60 · 24/06/2023 21:47

Catlover1705 · 24/06/2023 21:38

A daughter is a daughter all of your life; a son is a son until he takes a wife. Unfortunately, this has proven true in my wider family.

It's so weird when I see this phrase as I've genuinely never seen it in real life.

My brother is close to my parents, my DH is close to his. My adult (married) son is close to me.

I've just never seen it. If anything I think mother daughter relationships can be more complex and feisty (I adore my DD just as much as her brother by the way!)

SleepingStandingUp · 24/06/2023 21:48

SunnyEgg · 24/06/2023 21:37

Ds had a toy pram too, he put his teddy in it. Also a cooker and a mini hoover. Dd has a cooker but no hoover as I don’t think she needs help in that direction. No toy pram either

She does do ballet though, but Ds did gymnastics. So it’s a bit of a mix

Show quote history

DS had a pushchair, I was so impressed when MIL who I suspect was a bit 🙄 knitted him a pink blanket for it (could only get a pink buggy). Then I had twin boys and they put the baby in it and pushed it down the slide. God help my future grandkids 😂😂😂😂😂

SleepingStandingUp · 24/06/2023 21:49

Catlover1705 · 24/06/2023 21:38

A daughter is a daughter all of your life; a son is a son until he takes a wife. Unfortunately, this has proven true in my wider family.

Then challenge your husband on being a shit son.

Shinier · 24/06/2023 21:49

SallyWD · 24/06/2023 21:42

My God, how utterly bizarre.

Show quote history

It’s not bizarre to me. I think men are really very problematic in general. I think females are strong and amazing and empathic and I want to raise one who will help keep changing the world and take it away from all the male domination that has led to the shit state of the world

Wheelz46 · 24/06/2023 21:50

@shinier How very sad that you feel that way, I do pity you for having those feelings.

I have 2 boys and I am delighted with them both, thank you very much, no need to feel sorry here!

Esgaroth · 24/06/2023 21:50

Some of these posts are so hateful. It's shocking people are willing to write those things even anonymously.

My boy is the light of my life (and so's his sister).

Scirocco · 24/06/2023 21:51

Supremechicken · 24/06/2023 20:01

My sisters both have girls through lime tampons and husbands abstaining for several weeks to lower sperm count.

No they don't. They have girls through each conception being near 50:50 odds. Short of injecting an x chromosome sperm into an egg, there's no way to control it. It's chance.

Also, ouch.

Ignore your relatives if they're negative. You celebrate your baby as much as you want - decorate your whole house in colour coordinated balloons if you want to! Boy or girl, what's important is for your baby to be healthy and safe.

Shinier · 24/06/2023 21:52

You can shove your pity when pps sisters shove their lime slices. No pity needed for my 3 gorgeous boys thanks.

up my vagina? Now, that’s bizarre, and pretty aggressive

Swipe left for the next trending thread