Wedding dress code for guests

[Thanksitsfromvinted]

More of a colour scheme as opposed to a dress code. Our wedding is not very traditional we’re going quite relaxed almost festival vibes. OH and myself have decided to save on costs and have no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Both of us have been bm and gm for friends and found it a task and never loved what we’ve had to wear and didn’t want to put that responsibility on people, it also saves us a fortune as we would have had needed to pay for minimum 5 dresses/suits each. Have lots of brothers and sisters between us and loads of lovely friends and we couldn’t really decide who to include in the bridal party without including everyone who came to the day haha! So instead we’re asking our guests to pick a colour from our colour scheme to base their outfit around, there’s quite a few colours to choose from hence the festival vibe and we want to put somewhere that even a hint of the colour is fine (shoes, bag, tie) so it’s not a dress code but more of an encouragement. This is so we can have all our lovely nearest and dearest in photos etc and they all look involved.

I’ve had one or two comments that asking people to dress a certain way is ridiculous, I’ve explained that giving them a colour scheme and their own choice of outfit was meant to be less restrictive than plopping all our family in dresses/suits of our choosing.

what do you think?

You RSVPd “shove it up your arse”, did you? Of course you did 🙄

Dear god, you sound like a right misery guts. The sort of person who drains the fun out of things and enjoys ruining things for others. Grow up, people like different things. If you don’t like it, you can still be polite you don’t have to shoot them down.

bet you think you’re deeaaaad cool.

Agree, or maybe do want black.
There’s another thread on this subject of funerals which could be an interesting read for OP to read.

Wow! What on the rsvp?

Every single guest did this.

Nope, I don't think I'm dead cool in the slightest.
Nope, I didn't write in on the invite, I told her to her face.
However, if you want to make your own assumption of the matter, then feel free, I don't mind if it floats your boat to do so.

Seems pointless if there are a number of colours, then chances are people would naturally fall into your colour coding. And what is the point of telling people that it could just be a bag or a belt that just makes no sense.

This, a million times over.

In a cost of living crisis it might actually be quite hard to find the money for a new outfit if nothing you already own happens to match the bride's colour scheme.

I'd be really pissed off with this. After many years of trying different things, I have realised that I only suit v necks or wide necks, and everything else looks awful on me. I have a couple of wedding guest type dresses that genuinely look nice, and if I couldn't wear those, I'd finish up spending hours trawling the internet for an alternative, and getting stroppier and stroppier, before ending up in something that made me look rubbish. None of this would be conducive to enjoying your wedding.

Does 'vibe' now mean what 'theme' used to? I don't go to weddings.

I was just going to say the same.
It's the very opposite of that vibe!

You said shove it up your arse to someone’s face?! Sorry you just sound horrible.

Also. In every case I've seen where the bride and groom get obsessed over wedding details like this - it's because they're not 100% sure about the marriage. And focusing on the wrong place to cope with the worry that they're actually making a huge mistake, and end up controlling crap like this instead.

Food for thought.

I’m not sure why some posters are being so rude perhaps they’ve never been anywhere that has a colour theme or black tie event.

For me, the issue isn’t that you’re asking for an optional colour scheme it’s the fact that it’s really confusing.

If you’re invited to a black and white party you know to wear just back or white.
If you go to a black tie event, you know the sorts of things to wear.
If you go to a Disney fancy dress wedding, you know what to wear.

I guess I’d need to see how your invitation is worded but I would have no idea what you want me to wear for your wedding.
Would you want me in a festival type outfit or a wedding outfit of a particular colour.

I wouldn't be impressed with that. Unless I happened to already have an outfit in that colour. I would t want to go and buy another dress when I e already got one.

Your guests will all ‘look involved’ just by being there. It’s a ridiculous idea and you’re being precious, let guests wear whatever they want without having to go to possible extra expense.

but the very fact you are considering this… indicates you are as tightly wound up as a pretzel about this wedding being perfect and precisely what you want and envisage

Yes, this. The cool thing is to encourage people to wear what they feel comfortable in, not force them into what will feel like a costume for the day.

I don't understand the benefit to this?

Restrictions on what actual adults can wear is incredibly irritating - genuinely why would you think it's ok to do this?

I guarantee nobody gives enough of a shit about your wedding to dress like the other 80 guests so that they feel 'involved'.

OP: don't worry about what people are wearing in your pictures. In years from now, you'll just want to look back on a happy day and maybe, sadly, there will be people no longer around. It won't matter that Emily didn't wear peach or teal.

A relaxed vibe?? Yet guests have to wear from a chosen colour pallette. That's just nuts 🤪.

Talking about relaxed almost festival vibes. then effectively telling your guests what they can & can’t wear is a contradiction, OP. And if you can’t see that, it means you’re just another control-freak bridezilla who cares more about likes on social media than about your guests enjoying the day.

I find the whole idea of expecting people to wear a certain colour pretty odd, whether it's a social invitation or a fashion trend. There are only a handful of colours I wear. All the others I don't wear, not ever. If an invitation demands it, I'll ignore; if fashion flood the shops with it, I simply won't buy anything. I also know that the colours I love are often on other people's 'never wear' lists.

This is why i dont go to weddings.

Just let them wear what they want, and be happy that they are there to celebrate the day with you.

We want our whole wedding party to be bridesmaids and groomsmen but we're too tight to pay for it...

If I received an invite like this, I think I would be genuinely confused as to what I was supposed to wear - and then end up anxious in case I got it "wrong" and everyone else was dressed either more or less formally than me.

Festival vibe with a suggested (but optional) colour palette - does that mean shorts, wellies with perhaps a top in one of the colours? Or something much more formal? But then how do I make it festival vibe?

At this point in my thinking I would be thinking it shouldn't be this hard to attend a wedding!