Wedding dress code for guests

[Thanksitsfromvinted]

More of a colour scheme as opposed to a dress code. Our wedding is not very traditional we’re going quite relaxed almost festival vibes. OH and myself have decided to save on costs and have no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Both of us have been bm and gm for friends and found it a task and never loved what we’ve had to wear and didn’t want to put that responsibility on people, it also saves us a fortune as we would have had needed to pay for minimum 5 dresses/suits each. Have lots of brothers and sisters between us and loads of lovely friends and we couldn’t really decide who to include in the bridal party without including everyone who came to the day haha! So instead we’re asking our guests to pick a colour from our colour scheme to base their outfit around, there’s quite a few colours to choose from hence the festival vibe and we want to put somewhere that even a hint of the colour is fine (shoes, bag, tie) so it’s not a dress code but more of an encouragement. This is so we can have all our lovely nearest and dearest in photos etc and they all look involved.

I’ve had one or two comments that asking people to dress a certain way is ridiculous, I’ve explained that giving them a colour scheme and their own choice of outfit was meant to be less restrictive than plopping all our family in dresses/suits of our choosing.

what do you think?

Just reply saying expecting people to spend loads of money on a destination wedding is ridiculous

I think it’s bloody ridiculous and I’d think you were controlling and obsessive.

Let your guests wear whatever the hell they want to.

If I got an invite with terms and conditions on it, I'd tell you where to shove it.
The invites are for people to help you celebrate your day, not an invite to a fancy dress party.

Something like this? You might as well ask me to dress as a pirate. At least then I would know what you meant, 'relaxed festival vibe' is really open to interpretation and I am 60. I am not going to look good in a macrame dress, more like an overstuffed shopping bag from the 1970s.
Macrame Dress Festival Dress Boho Macrame Dress Bohemian - Etsy UK

What's the point? Are you trying to make the whole wedding party fit a certain aesthetic (wanky) or set up some kind of higher tier of friends who get to wear a colour instead of being 'in the wedding party' (pointless)
I seriously can't see the point of this at all! Especially if it's optional!

I agree! Festival vibes and ties really don't go together.

You’re getting a lot of harsh responses here OP. MN seems to hate weddings and the people saying that’s it’s horrible, disgusting etc etc. are utter miseries and, frankly, weird.

I think it depends how you word it, it’s like we’d love you to wear bright colours to match the thing, but we understand if it’s not your thing. If it’s you have to wear this colour and this colour, then maybe not.

Match the theme rather lmao

In reality you would probs just go though if it was close friend or family, wouldn’t you, Nusebaum. Get over yourself.

If this was my invite I would decline, people could wear what they like at our wedding and I don't see why it needs to be different

‘If you want to get involved in our colour scheme’ 😄mortifying.
An easy decline, without a moments thought. Guests will already be ‘getting involved’ by forking out for clothes/shoes/hair/tan, travel, petrol, gifts, an entire day of their time. That’s plenty.

Personally it wouldn’t bother me and I’d happily wear something from your suggested colours

I understand that many couples don’t want a traditional wedding but their benefit for guests is that everyone knows what to expect, what to wear etc. Couples often think that having a non-traditional wedding will be super chill and relaxed but when you deviate from the traditional ‘rules’ you have to give so much guidance to your guests about what you want from them that the opposite is true.

Aww bless. Is this your first wedding?

Gawd, haven't RTFT but people on MN can be such a miserable bunch and they usually hate weddings! It might be a bit of a pain as it means getting a new outfit, but given you've given a range of colours it shouldn't be that hard. I like the idea, it sounds like a bit of fun and something different. I went to an engagement party a few years ago that was a black & white theme, it ended up being a surprise wedding and the bride wore a red dress. It was pretty cool and memorable.

This. Sometimes it seems people want to find things to complain about. I really don't understand the big deal

Honest? Ridiculous!
I work in the industry, don’t set yourself up for disappointment and don’t impose sanctions on your guests

If it's a suggestion and not a requirement what's the point of even mentioning it.

I'd leave guests to dress however they want.

If I got an invite with a dress code / "suggestion" I'd be even less inclined to go to the wedding. But I'm boring 🤷‍♀️

She hasn't complained at all, she's just stated a fact that it cost them an arm and leg

I think the level of unreasonablenrss depends on the number of options - blue, yellow, red or green is a lot easier than the teal a PP had to find, particularly if you've stressed that it's totally optional. What is the colour palate?

The only time it's acceptable to make colour suggestions is at a funeral if the family don't want black

Nope. I had a wedding invite last year from a close family member who themed her wedding round a particular colour and asked guests to wear that colour, or accessories of that colour.
She got told to shove it up her arse.

iM NoT liKE tHe oTHer bRidES 🙄🙈

So spending money or not , this is just another circus wedding and nothing to do with the actual marriage. Do you really want your Granny in festival gear, i am sure she and other elderly guests will feel bloody ridiculous

I would not like this either. It just feels controlling and melodramatic.