Wedding dress code for guests

[Thanksitsfromvinted]

More of a colour scheme as opposed to a dress code. Our wedding is not very traditional we’re going quite relaxed almost festival vibes. OH and myself have decided to save on costs and have no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Both of us have been bm and gm for friends and found it a task and never loved what we’ve had to wear and didn’t want to put that responsibility on people, it also saves us a fortune as we would have had needed to pay for minimum 5 dresses/suits each. Have lots of brothers and sisters between us and loads of lovely friends and we couldn’t really decide who to include in the bridal party without including everyone who came to the day haha! So instead we’re asking our guests to pick a colour from our colour scheme to base their outfit around, there’s quite a few colours to choose from hence the festival vibe and we want to put somewhere that even a hint of the colour is fine (shoes, bag, tie) so it’s not a dress code but more of an encouragement. This is so we can have all our lovely nearest and dearest in photos etc and they all look involved.

I’ve had one or two comments that asking people to dress a certain way is ridiculous, I’ve explained that giving them a colour scheme and their own choice of outfit was meant to be less restrictive than plopping all our family in dresses/suits of our choosing.

what do you think?

We’ve had a wedding invite in our friends circle suggesting a colour scheme for guests, and it went down like a cup of cold sick.

The couple who have complained about it .... so presumably you have already done this, before actually asking MN, to gauge opinions ?
Shame really as 3/4 of people are telling you this is unreasonable from the vote, and w much higher % from the comments.

As has already been said, if you want people to wear certain colours, then you pay for their outfits. If you want your guests to come because they are your family and friends, and you want them to be there, then let them choose their own outfits.

* had one or two comments that asking people to dress a certain way is ridiculous, *

that was before you posted on an anonymous forum.

Somewhat more than “one or two” now OP!

We need a wedding guest registry!

People who like attending weddings can upload their their details, including what styles and colours they will wear, how far they will travel, and how much they cost.

The bridalzilla couple can browse to their heart's content, and choose the guests who will co-ordinate with their theme, and best enhance their photos and their image of themselves.

Of course, if you're broke, you'll still be stuck with your own family and friends, wearing whatever they like 🤷‍♀️.

@Maireas 👍

@2bazookas ooo I love purples and mauves! And a sprig of heather is a fab accessory

@Stravaig - you are a genius.

@Maireas 🥰🤣

Yanbu!you're only requesting a bit of colour!!
cannot believe so many saying Yabu yet it's usually..your wedding your rules on mn.
you do what you like and have a fun wedding!😀

I'd be concerned people would feel pressured, and then those who chose not to indulge the colour code would worry about being judged. It's just an unnecessary frivolity.

your wedding rules
I don't want to go to weddings with rules. Thank you.

'Just a bit of colour'- what like a new bag or new shoes or a new scarf? What if you have a whole family to dress in this nonsense? Ties would actually be easier and cheaper but not very 'festival'. In a cost of living crisis it's probably nicer to just let people wear their best clothes/come as they are.

So will Cousin Maud, she wears sensible shoes...BROWN ones.

I think you can only make demands on your guests if you’re paying toward their outfits. Unless the request is very vague like black, white, formal or black tie.

Sorry - I'd either roll my eyes, or not bother going.

I invited guests that I wanted to share our doevial day with - I couldn't have cared less what they wore.🙄

special day, that should have said. 🙄

My friend did this and honestly it was a fucking nightmare and the photos looked shit. If you are going for the relaxed festival vibe then let people wear what they want.

Personally I would t find it too much if a problem as I would take it as DH would wear the chosen colour tie and I would have the chosen colour handbag or another accessory. If I didn't shut a certain colour I wouldn't wear it but would be happy to accessorise with it.

Maybe you need to reword it as it think people are reading too much into it.

What's the colour scheme

Are people likely to have a dress /clothes that colour

Or will they have to buy

It’s YOUR Wedding and I think a lovely idea !

OP has asked for a hint of a colour, not a whole outfit. It could be a buttonhole or corsage, hairband, bag etc….

I can’t believe how harsh everyone has been.

I just want to know what the palette is.

OP, I think it’s hard to have perspective when you’re in the midst of wedding planning, and having earnest conversations about flowers, favours, seating plans and good knows what else.

But take a deep breathe and think - in ten years time when you’re looking back at you wedding day - do you really think you’ll give a shit whether guests were wearing green, gold, red or whatever?!

I don't see an issue in the slightest.
My SIL asked everyone to dress in Royal Blue for her wedding. We all did and no one thought anything of it - it was her day.
Sounds like you're giving everyone even more choice, don't see the problem at all.

What lovely idea; I think it involves everyone & is a very sweet idea, people can take it or leave it; but it’s an option for them to try to work around x

It’s easy to get so lost in your own wedding planning that you lose your grip on reality, so I’ll try and be kind. This isn’t a good idea. It won’t work in the way you think it will to harmonise your wedding photography. If your colours are blue, green and yellow you’ll have so many variations within those.

You could choose black and white photography to bring it all together if it’s that important to you. But I’d maybe suggest a dress code along the lines of, bright & beautiful, let people interpret that however they like, and embrace the fact that you have every colour under the sun.