Wedding dress code for guests

[Thanksitsfromvinted]

More of a colour scheme as opposed to a dress code. Our wedding is not very traditional we’re going quite relaxed almost festival vibes. OH and myself have decided to save on costs and have no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Both of us have been bm and gm for friends and found it a task and never loved what we’ve had to wear and didn’t want to put that responsibility on people, it also saves us a fortune as we would have had needed to pay for minimum 5 dresses/suits each. Have lots of brothers and sisters between us and loads of lovely friends and we couldn’t really decide who to include in the bridal party without including everyone who came to the day haha! So instead we’re asking our guests to pick a colour from our colour scheme to base their outfit around, there’s quite a few colours to choose from hence the festival vibe and we want to put somewhere that even a hint of the colour is fine (shoes, bag, tie) so it’s not a dress code but more of an encouragement. This is so we can have all our lovely nearest and dearest in photos etc and they all look involved.

I’ve had one or two comments that asking people to dress a certain way is ridiculous, I’ve explained that giving them a colour scheme and their own choice of outfit was meant to be less restrictive than plopping all our family in dresses/suits of our choosing.

what do you think?

How on earth can you say with confidence that no one thought anything of it?

There were most likely people who went out and bought a new outfit in a colour they wouldn't have otherwise chosen because they felt they had to and were too polite to make a fuss.

Yes, I mostly buy new dresses for weddings anyway. I'm sure many of not most people bought one too.

I love the festival vibe, my niece did it at her own wedding.
There were no restrictions on dress code although her close friends were all dressed in "festival clothes" others seemed to blend in with surroundings xx

The only guest dress code/choice to ever state at a wedding is to say you are having a more casual wedding and everyone is free to dress as formally in their best frock or casually in jeans/nice top etc if they want.

Or maybe warn guests something like heels are not suitable if it is being held somewhere soft under foot.

Anything else is ridiculous.

WHAT ARE THE COLOURS???''

If it's... Yellow, pink and blue.not a problem.

Silver, Gold and Bronze.... Problem.

Agree. I’d be pissed off to have to potential buy an outfit to suit a colour scheme, then transport maybe accomodation, present. Bit much.

I think that is absolutely fair enough!! Nice and easy but with hint or what you would like for your wedding. It’s not difficult to wear a shoe bag or tie in your colour scheme. Ignore silly comments it’s your special day. If they can’t make a tiny bit of effort for 1 day then they should stay home

Or, here's an idea. If the OP wants to somehow 'mark' that certain people are "closer" to her without forking out for bridesmaid dresses and ushers' suits, she could revive the old tradition of the couple providing a buttonhole for each of the people that she feels closest to.

Do you not think that in a cost of living crisis people might like to have the option to wear something they already own?

And that even if money is no object, they might prefer to buy clothes they like, in a colour that actually suits them?

If you are going down this road I think one or two colours make sense, but a "colour palette"? Why not say "festival vibe" or similar? We are encouraged to wear red at Lord's on Thursday as it's Red for Ruth day and about a charitable cause. I probably won't wear red but I'll donate. DH definitely won't wear red in case anyone thinks he supports Arsenal 😂

Perhaps they would prefer to wear a different colour and can do that at their own wedding. This is the OPs wedding.
The OP mentioned she travelled at the way to Italy for these guests.
I'm not sure buying a tie or headband is too much to ask. The OP mentioned, that even a small accessory in the names colours would be fine.
It's their wedding and it would make them happy. I would certainly have no issue with it and would love to make my friends happy.

What's the point of it then?

If 120 guests are all wearing a tiny hint of colours, and you get 30 with green, 50 with blue, 15 with red and 5 with yellow and 20 people who opted out ...they're all wearing exactly what they wanted and then there's no cohesion at all...There's literally no point to her request. I'm any given wedding photo you could probably find 2 or 3 colours that were common to everyone.

If they said please wear blue, and that could anything from a blue hairband in a girl's ponytail, a blue tie on uncle Roger, or Aunt Marge dressed head to toe in blue, complete with blue lipstick and eyeshadow then that makes sense.... But a colour palette? Ehhhh

Our "colour palette" Good lord OP, I'm cringing for you.

Honestly I'd love this! I find the hardest thing about being a wedding guest is deciding what to wear, so a colour pallette would narrow down my search and help.

The only reason there's a colour scheme is usually to avoid the same colour as the bridesmaids. Seeing as you're not having bridesmaids and going for a relaxed festival theme, having a colour scheme seems odd.

You are cheaping out on buying the bridesmaid dresses therefore you get no say in what people wear. And your friends will be talking about you brizezilla this is.

I get what you are aiming for but it seems as though some may have thought you meant they had to wear those colours only hence the moaning.
I mean we all know how hard it is to find stuff in specific colours for an event when we have to because notoriously before we are going to an event all of the colours are available.

You are literally letting them know your wedding colours just incase they would
like to coordinate so I really don’t see what they are moaning about.

This would make things easier for me, I have ADHD so the extra information about the colour scheme would be very welcome, & I would happily try to find something quirky, individual or funny that matched your colour scheme.

Incase there is an interpretation of the information issue just pop everyone you have invited in a group chat on What’s app or Facebook messenger & reiterate that wearing clothes matching the weddings colour palette it isn’t a stipulation of the invite it is just for information & anyone who would like to can wear those colours or a splash of the colours can do so if they want to.

You say your colour palate is ‘festival’ so I imagine there aren’t many colours not on the list so I honestly can’t see what the issue is.

Hope those with an issue get the message, stop moaning & you all have an amazing day.

I went to a wedding many years ago and we were all asked to wear black and white as the wedding was in a Tudor venue and that was the colour scheme. We just did it. Don’t think anyone massively complained.

I can't believe some of the responses here, hopefully most people have been kind, I think it's a great idea giving people colours to choose from, it makes life a lot easier! My sister asked everyone to wear something blue for her wedding, everyone did and it was a lovely wedding, yours will be fine too!

I had no dress code for my wedding and my photos look fab.

Oddly everyone in my immediate family decided to wear Morning Dress in line with the groom - not matching but formal so then my extended family did. In my family photos the only person not wearing morning dress is my FIL (we did offer him some so he could match).

Let people wear what colours they like and what suits them.

Has anyone sane that’s ever got married ever really noticed what their guests were wearing on the day? I was just really happy to see them. It was only when I looked at the photos that I noticed one cousin wearing exactly the same outfit they did for my sibling’s wedding 10 years previously, and that always raises a smile when I look at them as it was totally in keeping with her character. Oh and my MIL wore black too, but it never occurred to me that I should be upset. She was comfortable on the day, the only thing that I thought mattered.

I think it's a brilliant idea. If you've quite a fewcolours then people should have something already with a colour on.

Oh yeah…you can’t ask your guests to wear something particular.

Hell I didn’t even ask my bridesmaids to wear anything special… I’m in the US and typically bridesmaids pay for their dress. I didn’t want them to do have to buy something and I didn’t want to pay for something that they’d never wear again. So I just asked if they were cool with figuring something out. They were…no drama. They asked me if I wanted a certain color (I didn’t) and they both already had black dresses. (I literally didn’t care if they matched and told them so). Worked out for everyone.

Why are weddings becoming such a tedious performance for guests?

It costs so much money and time to be a guest these days, its no wonder people dislike weddings.