Wedding dress code for guests

[Thanksitsfromvinted]

More of a colour scheme as opposed to a dress code. Our wedding is not very traditional we’re going quite relaxed almost festival vibes. OH and myself have decided to save on costs and have no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Both of us have been bm and gm for friends and found it a task and never loved what we’ve had to wear and didn’t want to put that responsibility on people, it also saves us a fortune as we would have had needed to pay for minimum 5 dresses/suits each. Have lots of brothers and sisters between us and loads of lovely friends and we couldn’t really decide who to include in the bridal party without including everyone who came to the day haha! So instead we’re asking our guests to pick a colour from our colour scheme to base their outfit around, there’s quite a few colours to choose from hence the festival vibe and we want to put somewhere that even a hint of the colour is fine (shoes, bag, tie) so it’s not a dress code but more of an encouragement. This is so we can have all our lovely nearest and dearest in photos etc and they all look involved.

I’ve had one or two comments that asking people to dress a certain way is ridiculous, I’ve explained that giving them a colour scheme and their own choice of outfit was meant to be less restrictive than plopping all our family in dresses/suits of our choosing.

what do you think?

The guests will most likely already have something in one of those colors

How can you possibly presume this? One of what colours? She hasn't told us.

Even if she had, then a top or something, sure. A wedding outfit, quite possibly not.

Apparently it’s not a formal type of wedding and she said just a touch not a whole outfit.

See there are a lot of melodramatic kill joys on here. I think it's fine
I've had friends who had an all white wedding .
Like at the very least people can wear socks in those colours. If people roll their eyes just roll your eyes back and enjoy your festival wedding

Blouse in color range with skirt, dress with touch of one of the colors, purse or belt, button down shirt or tie with something of one of the colors with smart trousers and jacket.

Always surprised by the very narrow confines of posters’ imaginations on many threads.

I think people don't like a dress code for a wedding.

The photos from an all-white wedding must look like a cult!

Very little of what you have described is going to make any impact on the photos, which is what OP is looking for.

I think they do, otherwise they've no idea what's appropriate, but it needs to be generous in interpretation and not really prescriptive.

That's why lounge suit is probably the best if you're not having a totally casual thing. Even just black trousers/skirt and a top will be fine.

Though i realise she said those specific things herself.

I'd think you were being pretentious, precious and more concerned with what your photos looked like than with having a nice day.

And if none of the colours of the 3 dresses I own that are suitable for weddings were in your colour scheme, I'd think "fuck this for a game of soldiers, I can't face shopping for a new outfit that I'll probably never wear again" and decline the invite.

No. The couple do not direct you what to wear.
You make your own decisions based on the venue, time of day etc.
This is just for pictures.

OP mentioned that men are wearing ties, which would suggest that it is reasonably formal.

I had someone who did this for kids so the kids could be almost part of the bridal party. But maybe a bit weird for adults. Especially if they have already got their outfits!

"almost part of the bridal party" means nothing

Me too.

The last wedding I went to was also the best: fab vicar who told jokes and did magic tricks as part of the ceremony and got the congregation participating, the reception was at a village hall attached to a playing field with a swing park, so small children could let off steam, a colleague of the bride's who lived nearby brought her horse and a friend with a horse and gave the kids pony rides, the food was a fantastic buffet and there was plenty of it, the speeches were short and mostly funny and the playlist was great.

As that will never be surpassed, I don't think I'll ever bother going to another wedding. All the other weddings I've been to have been boring, or dreadful in other ways, and I include my own in that.

Any stipulation that causes wedding guests to take action to please and appease a whim of the B+G (invariably the B) is tedious and controlling. It is burdensome and imposes a needless obligation on guests.

people will 99.999% of the time come to a wedding wearing the best clothing they can afford to wear.

They will do their best to do the B+G proud and don't need to be treated like children with arbitrary rules and regs. Imposing on them is rude.

I find it incomprehensible why weddings have become such a PITA and indulgent.

Hmmm, I'm not quite sure what you're trying to achieve. I think 3 or more colours isn't really a theme. By all means say Bold & Bright or Relaxed/Casual etc .......but asking people to chose say red/white/blue is odd. I've never heard of a couple dictating what their guests wear. Your bridal party yes, but your guests? I think that's a bit entitled really.

@SerafinasGoose totally with you.

I went to a family wedding a few weeks ago.

No rules about what to wear (the attire description said "smart" - great, I can do smart lol)

no poems, no weird requests at wishing wells, no requests for gifts but if people wanted to contribute towards the honeymoon they were welcome to (no stipulation of £value) which I felt was burden-free and as a much loved family member of course we gave them cash in their wedding card, why wouldn't we. But if we hadnt there would have been zero drama.

Lovely day, nice food, dancing and no fall outs. The hallmarks of an enjoyable family event. It just seemed to run smoothly from start to finish, but that was expected because that branch of my family is drama-free which must be in our genes! Can't be doing with attention-seeking that comes with weddings these day or maybe it's just the ones on MN

Spot on, @daisychain01

Your suggestion seems too pushy; since when did family members have to look right to qualify for inclusion in the wedding photos!!!!!!!!!!!

My (Scots) sons wedding outfit had a theme of purple; he wore heather in his button hole and a purple tie. They said if anyone wanted to join in with purple anything feel free. No obligation (and as far as I know, nobody even discussed it with the bride and groom what they'd be wearing ; we certainly did not.

As it turned out both Mothers worse something purple; mine was a gorgeous purple silk long Japanese kaftan over dark top and trousers. DH wore a purple shirt he already owned plus a purple tie.

Seems like an unnecessary complication for the guests that won’t add to your day.

Why?!

Just let people come in what they want and enjoy the day. Dress codes and suggested colours will make people feel burdened straight away. That's not why I'd want my wedding to cause.

That sounds lovely, @2bazookas - it's nice for the bridal party to look coordinated. Your outfit sounds gorgeous!

But god Damn it… you will wear red

Great Uncle George our Great Grandma Ethel will be banned from the photos as they are just not cool enough.