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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

There are two sexes…

635 replies

ItJustFellOutLikeWordVomit · 23/06/2023 13:34

Well just that really….I have gay, straight, bi sexual and transsexual friends and absolutely have no problem with that, very much a do what makes you happy person.

Butttt….AIBU to think the world is going a bit mad with all the non-female, cis female and whatever other labels are floating about. I’m a woman and that’s that, you are either biologically a male or biologically a female and I don’t mean that in an insensitive way dress how you like and date who you like but surely we can’t just be inventing different/new sexes and telling straight women they are no longer a woman they are now XYZ?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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FourTeaFallOut · 23/06/2023 16:40

Are there any other cohorts of people with genetic anomalies being asked to regard themselves as so totally outside the typical human condition that they constitute an entirely new class of human - in order to support those with dysmorphia?

Hotsummerlatenightstrolls · 23/06/2023 16:40

nothingcomestonothing · 23/06/2023 15:17

I posted a video upthread for starters. It's no shame not to know by the way, all the press around Semenya for years was about obfuscating the truth. All the drawn out sports bodies decisions and wranglings, and media insinuating that it was racist to suggest Semenya was a male, or making reference to Semenya having 'naturally high testosterone ' was all obscuring the facts that Semenya is male and everyone involved has know that for at least the last 10 years of Semenya's career

No worries at all I am the first to admit I don't keep up with current affairs and I should. I will have dig through the thread and have a good read.

SmartHome · 23/06/2023 16:41

Begsthequestion · 23/06/2023 16:23

Thanks for your reply.

This 30-something is close to many different women who do and don't conform to the usual stereotypes in all different ways. But still, being called a woman feels a bit off. Perhaps it's just being put in a box, whichever box, full of other people's preconceived notions, that is a problem.

That's nothing to do with sex or sexuality though, and how many women feel.

I don't feel comfortable with traditional female stereotypes. But I a still female and a woman.

nothingcomestonothing · 23/06/2023 16:42

Begsthequestion · 23/06/2023 16:39

I get what you're saying. Female sexed bodies are female.

However, the idea of what a woman is, how she acts, what she is expected to do and not do, know, work as, live as, even how young she can be, etc. has changed dramatically over the centuries.

This suggests being a "woman" is a social construct. It's not fixed and depends on how different societies define it, historically and globally.

Being a man or woman is a biological reality, fixed and constant throughout history. Social constructs of masculinity and femininity change according to place and time. Being a woman is fixed, what we consider appropriate for women is not.

SinnerBoy · 23/06/2023 16:43

nothingcomestonothing

I really recommend this site for info on the perspective of people with DSD, and the co-option of DSDs by those pushing TQ+ ideology.

You're almost certainly flogging a dead horse with suggestions as they always ignore any evidence and just carry on punting the same old false schtick.

They and some other posters have ignored any articles, blogs and interviews on the subject and merely keep banging on that people with DSDs are happy to be referred to in derogatory terms.

Hopefully, some readers who don't have a rigid agenda in the subject will be able to gain some knowledge from reading your linked blog!

porridgecake · 23/06/2023 16:44

The tiny number of babies born with ambiguous genitalia will, in countries that have the necessary health care services, have further tests to determine which of the 2 sexes they are.
In some countries, or at least areas within some countries, particularly decades ago, further testing was not available or not sought and very occasionally the baby was brought up as the opposite sex. However, puberty is usually the time when errors become obvious.
That is tragic for everyone involved. Hopefully as time goes on diagnosis will be earlier and more frequent and those children can be helped at an earlier stage.

ArabeIIaScott · 23/06/2023 16:46

Mamabear04 · 23/06/2023 13:47

Some people are intersex so there are three sexes, female, male and intersex. Gender is a whole other story.

Er, no.

'Intersex' is also known as 'disorder/difference of sexual development', it covers various conditions, but it is absolutely not a third sex.

Here, more info:

https://dsdfamilies.org

Home :: DSD Families

https://dsdfamilies.org

Emotionalsupportviper · 23/06/2023 16:48

SummerLovingg · 23/06/2023 13:42

Some people are born neither male or female.

Everybody is born either male or female.

Some people (fewer than 0.02% of the population) have a genital ambiguity which means that their sex may be misidentified. They are suffered from DSD (Disorder of Sexual Development aka VSD - Variations of Sexual Development), commonly and insultingly known as "intersex".

There are several of these conditions, all of which affect EITHER males OR females.

There are no people who are neither male nor female, and here are no people who are both male and female, though they may have attributes of both sexes.

There is no such thing as "intersex". Sex is not a spectrum - it is binary. People with DSD conditions have repeatedly asked NOT to be dragged into these arguments and used as "examples". Please respect their wishes.

porridgecake · 23/06/2023 16:48

Viviennemary · 23/06/2023 16:22

It's called intersex and is a medical condition. A person may have gentals of both sexes and they are assigned a sex. And will probably have surgery.

I know you are confident that you are correct. But you are wrong. Wherever you got your information it was not an accurate source.

ArabeIIaScott · 23/06/2023 16:48

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 23/06/2023 13:54

Grin

Or a loon or a quine, to be fair.

Emotionalsupportviper · 23/06/2023 16:49

Cross post @Arabella.

EctopicSpleen · 23/06/2023 16:49

theDudesmummy · 23/06/2023 16:37

Swyer individuals look like girls externally and will be raised as such because the syndrome may often not even be detected until puberty. But they will not develop into women or even people who look like woman without treatment, as they have no gonads. In these (incredibly rare) cases, it is obviously kindest and best to treat them at puberty and let them present as and think of themselves as women. They are not really though. They are not some form of third sex either.

Seriously? They are born with female genitalia, have lived their whole lives with female genitalia, been dressed and treated their whole lives as female, and your response is "not a real woman".
What about women who are infertile for other reasons and need medical help to conceive? Are they "not real women" either?

Emotionalsupportviper · 23/06/2023 16:51

Mamabear04 · 23/06/2023 13:47

Some people are intersex so there are three sexes, female, male and intersex. Gender is a whole other story.

No such thing as intersex.

Gender is a fallacy.

luffkinks · 23/06/2023 16:52

I'm so confused.
38 voters said you were being unreasonable 😂😂😂

nothingcomestonothing · 23/06/2023 16:53

SinnerBoy · 23/06/2023 16:43

nothingcomestonothing

I really recommend this site for info on the perspective of people with DSD, and the co-option of DSDs by those pushing TQ+ ideology.

You're almost certainly flogging a dead horse with suggestions as they always ignore any evidence and just carry on punting the same old false schtick.

They and some other posters have ignored any articles, blogs and interviews on the subject and merely keep banging on that people with DSDs are happy to be referred to in derogatory terms.

Hopefully, some readers who don't have a rigid agenda in the subject will be able to gain some knowledge from reading your linked blog!

I know - posting for the benefit of lurkers really. I think that blog is great, so informative.

BreatheAndFocus · 23/06/2023 16:53

Begsthequestion · 23/06/2023 16:39

I get what you're saying. Female sexed bodies are female.

However, the idea of what a woman is, how she acts, what she is expected to do and not do, know, work as, live as, even how young she can be, etc. has changed dramatically over the centuries.

This suggests being a "woman" is a social construct. It's not fixed and depends on how different societies define it, historically and globally.

It absolutely doesn’t suggest being a women is a social construct. Female people are girls and women whatever culture they grow up in. The fact the gender expectations might differ, and have changed through history and through time, is irrelevant.

10 year old boys used to be sent up chimneys to sweep them in the 19th century. The fact we don’t do that any more doesn’t mean the words “10 year old boy” have a different meaning now.

ArabeIIaScott · 23/06/2023 16:54

There are only two sexes.

It is not possible to change sex.

ContinuousProcrastination · 23/06/2023 16:54

SummerLovingg · Today 13:42
Some people are born neither male or female

This isn't really true, some people are born intersex /DSD but there's usually specificity whereby these individuals are from a scientific perspective aligned with one sex or the other.

TheShellBeach · 23/06/2023 16:55

EctopicSpleen · 23/06/2023 16:13

Never heard of Klinefelter's syndrome then? Look it up.

I don't need to look it up but it isn't a third sex, as you seem to imagine.

Klinefelter syndrome (sometimes called Klinefelter's, KS or XXY) is where boys and men are born with an extra X chromosome.

Chromosomes are packages of genes found in every cell in the body. There are 2 types of chromosome, called the sex chromosomes, that determine the genetic sex of a baby. These are named either X or Y.

Usually, a female baby has 2 X chromosomes (XX) and a male has 1 X and 1 Y (XY). But in Klinefelter syndrome, a boy is born with an extra copy of the X chromosome (XXY).

The X chromosome is not a "female" chromosome and is present in everyone. The presence of a Y chromosome denotes male sex.

Boys and men with Klinefelter syndrome are still genetically male, and often will not realise they have this extra chromosome.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 23/06/2023 16:55

As an infertile women it pisses me the fuck off to be used as some kind of gotcha in this bullshit

im infertile because my female biology doesn’t work properly, it doesn’t make me not a woman

GoldfincTart · 23/06/2023 16:55

This suggests being a "woman" is a social construct. It's not fixed and depends on how different societies define it, historically and globally.

No, being male or female has been absolutely consistent for thousands of years because it's biology and biology hasn't changed. XX body = female/ woman. XY body = male/ man. Sex is consistent and real.

What changes are social norms and expectations expected of women and men. Gender roles, sex stereotyping — call it whatever you want, that's the social construct. Not biology.

luffkinks · 23/06/2023 16:55

@EctopicSpleen

What on Earth do you mean? Infertile women still have female chromosomes.
Honestly where did you get that idea?

Begsthequestion · 23/06/2023 16:56

nothingcomestonothing · 23/06/2023 16:42

Being a man or woman is a biological reality, fixed and constant throughout history. Social constructs of masculinity and femininity change according to place and time. Being a woman is fixed, what we consider appropriate for women is not.

Thanks for your reply.

I think that could apply to the many societies and cultures which only recognise the existence of man/male sex and woman/female sex.

But what about societies where there's is a recognised third or more gender? For example in South Asia, or in Native American cultures? It's not binary everywhere and never has been.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 23/06/2023 16:56

Quite @luffkinks it’s so bloody insulting!!

ASGIRC · 23/06/2023 16:57

luffkinks · 23/06/2023 14:58

@ASGIRC

It is absolutely not akin to being Gay 30 years ago.

Gay rights were asking for the law to include protections not to discriminate.

Trans already have protection in law specifically for trans people.

Gay rights were asking for marriage to be legal

Trans people can legally marry whom ever they want.

What rights do trans people not have?

Being Gay is a reality, a man who is attracted to a man. It is reality, it doesn't affect anyone else's rights.

A trans person is discrimitated against.

Here in this very thread you see that.

The biggest thing being toilet use (I dont want to get into it, Im just citing it as an example).

Women want trans women to not use their toilets, because they think its a man.
However, it isnt as simple as having the trans woman using the mans toilets, because, by identifying as female, she will be at risk in those toilets.

So no, there isnt protection.

Discrimination is real (in many forms, not just against trans people!) and it is disengenuous to pretend otherwise.