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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

There are two sexes…

635 replies

ItJustFellOutLikeWordVomit · 23/06/2023 13:34

Well just that really….I have gay, straight, bi sexual and transsexual friends and absolutely have no problem with that, very much a do what makes you happy person.

Butttt….AIBU to think the world is going a bit mad with all the non-female, cis female and whatever other labels are floating about. I’m a woman and that’s that, you are either biologically a male or biologically a female and I don’t mean that in an insensitive way dress how you like and date who you like but surely we can’t just be inventing different/new sexes and telling straight women they are no longer a woman they are now XYZ?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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SmartHome · 23/06/2023 16:12

Sceptic1234 · 23/06/2023 16:08

Simply not true....caused by a genetic defect in an enzyme that metabolises testosterone. Cannot be treated simply by giving more.

There are cases of low testosterone (e.g. hypo gonadism) which can be treated as you describe.

Simply not true as well I am afraid. Many individuals with 5ARD don't need much treatment as: "Affected males still develop typical masculine features at puberty (deep voice, facial hair, muscle bulk) since most aspects of pubertal virilization are driven by testosterone, not DHT."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5%CE%B1-Reductase_2_deficiency

5α-Reductase 2 deficiency (5αR2D) is an autosomal recessive condition caused by a mutation in SRD5A2, a gene encoding the enzyme 5α-reductase type 2 (5αR2). The condition is rare, affects only genetic males, and has a broad spectrum.
5αR2 is expressed in specific tissues and catalyzes the transformation of testosterone (T) to 5α-dihydrotestosterone (DHT). DHT plays a key role in the process of sexual differentiation in the external genitalia and prostate during development of the male fetus. 5αR2D is a result of impaired 5αR2 activity resulting in decreased DHT levels. This defect results in a spectrum of phenotypes including overt genital ambiguity, hypospadias, and micropenis. Affected males still develop typical masculine features at puberty (deep voice, facial hair, muscle bulk) since most aspects of pubertal virilization are driven by testosterone, not DHT.

Dominance (genetics) - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autosomal_recessive

Terven · 23/06/2023 16:12

Why is it that a discussion of sexes always derail into a discussion about a minimal amount of people who has sexual development disorders? Why would you use a disorder to explain what almost everyone on this planet is? Would we do this for all other disorders? It’s complete insanity. There are only two sexes, end of.

ItJustFellOutLikeWordVomit · 23/06/2023 16:12

slashlover · 23/06/2023 16:02

Butttt….AIBU to think the world is going a bit mad with all the non-female, cis female and whatever other labels are floating about.

Are you new here OP? There seem to be a lot of threads asking this on AIBU, as if MN are ever going to say YABU.

no I’m not new I did recently change my name though and have only skulked about since and not posted! Apologies if there are lots of the same I’ve seen posts that are about the same issue but never came across one that directly asks does everyone somehow think that you can just change your biological sex, stop being a biological sex or that there’s many different kinds of sex because the media all seems to be pushing that this is the norm.

Where I’m never going to judge someone on how they dress/love their life I have no idea how it’s possible for people to say I’m not this sex I’m that sex you’re not a woman your this…where does it stop are children going to grow up thinking they can just change their sex and even though they are born a male can magically change their organs or that there’s 3 sets of organs now and women aren’t really women.

OP posts:
Hidinginaonesie · 23/06/2023 16:12

Hidinginaonesie · 23/06/2023 16:11

There are two sexes. There’s xx and there’s xy. People with dsd do not have ‘xz’ chromosomes.
There is no such thing.

I should add that feelings do not change genetics. Anyone can feel like anything, but that does not necessarily make it so.

EctopicSpleen · 23/06/2023 16:13

Hidinginaonesie · 23/06/2023 16:11

There are two sexes. There’s xx and there’s xy. People with dsd do not have ‘xz’ chromosomes.
There is no such thing.

Never heard of Klinefelter's syndrome then? Look it up.

Verv · 23/06/2023 16:13

SmartHome · 23/06/2023 15:56

Nope. It's a perfectly apt term for me as a gender non-conforming woman. My personality/choice of clothes/profession etc are all about my personality, not th eimmutable sex class I was lucky/unlucky enough to have been born into.

Sometimes I hate being a fucking woman, often in fact, but I know that is something I can't change. I'd rather spend my time trying to improve the lot of women around the world and stop sexist men running riot rathr than futile navel gazing about wishing I'd been born a man.

Spot on.

SerafinasGoose · 23/06/2023 16:14

SummerLovingg · 23/06/2023 13:42

Some people are born neither male or female.

Wow! Do you mean that a being has now been discovered - for the first time in the history of humanity - who produces both large and small gametes?

This really would be groundbreaking stuff. Can you point me at the peer-reviewed articles?

I'll wait. And wait. And wait ...

SmartHome · 23/06/2023 16:14

I really think it's time to bring Science back and force people to learn Science and Maths to the age of at least 18. You should have to swap basic scientific facts from credible sources for vapes or trainers (not wikipedia but the fact that even wikipedia can deal in scientific fact says a lot)

nothingcomestonothing · 23/06/2023 16:14

theDudesmummy · 23/06/2023 15:51

@nothingcomestonothing calling South Africa a non-LGB friendly country is not correct. There are areas like that of course, in rural parts, but their constitution was the first in the world to outlaw discrimination based on sexuality. They were the fifth country in the world to legalise same sex-marriage. There is also, and has been for decades, a massive openly gay scene there, especially in Cape Town.

Caster is not gay though, he is a straight man, who has fathered a child.

Thanks for the correction, I didn't know SA was so progressive on LGB rights. The admittedly quite narrow experience I've had with South African culture (Durban and Port Elizabeth) has been pretty conservative, overtly Christian and politically to the right of the spectrum but I shouldn't assume my experience is everything.

You are also correct that Semenya isn't gay, he's a straight male, I was trying to refute a PP who suggested Semenya 'lives a woman' which he does not, he is a male married to a woman.

CheeseBandit · 23/06/2023 16:14

SummerLovingg · 23/06/2023 13:42

Some people are born neither male or female.

Not true. Using the ‘intersex’ argument is weak and not a medical term anymore.

theDudesmummy · 23/06/2023 16:15

There is no such thing as feeling like a woman. Or a man. There is being a woman. Or a man. Nothing other than your biological sex determines which you are. Not what you like, who you love, who you fancy or how you act or dress.

You might not like being which one you are, for a myriad of reasons, but that's the way it is. It's pretty simple. I cannot understand how we have got into this nonsensical twist.

TheShellBeach · 23/06/2023 16:15

Naunet · 23/06/2023 15:34

Who is making you read it? Do you need me to call the police?

Just log it with 101.

Grin
ClawedButler · 23/06/2023 16:16

Wearing mascara does not make you a woman.
Wearing trousers does not make you a man.

Wear whatever the hell you want fgs. NO-ONE 100% identifies with all the sexist stereotypes associated with their sex. It used to be called having a personality.

BCCoach · 23/06/2023 16:16

Sistanotcista · 23/06/2023 13:50

Exactly this. Look up Caster Semenya for a real life example.

Caster Semenya is male with a 5αR2D disorder of sex development (DSD). The term 'intersex' is used to describe people with DSDs but does not imply a third sex. All mammals are either male or female, regardless of any DSD as sex in mammals is determined by the absence or presence of the Y chromosome. (Yes, ok, chimeras...)

DSDs have nothing to do with transsexuality and gender and many intersex individuals reject being co-opted into the the debate over the intersection of transsexual and female rights.

GoldfincTart · 23/06/2023 16:17

Begsthequestion · Today 15:34

What would you (and others on this thread) say to an adult person (30+) who was born with a female-sexed body (XX) but who never felt like they were a woman, or ever understood from personal experience what "being a woman" meant?

Genuine question.

I'd say welcome to the huge tribe of women who don't do gender. If you have XX chromosomes then whatever you feel, however you dress, whatever you do, is what it's like to be a woman — because you're a woman. Other women don't all belong to some woman-club where we all 'feel' the same way about being female. We are women and we are individuals.

I'd like to ask this token 30-something female what she thinks she should feel? Does she feel pressure to behave a certain way, dress a certain way? Where is she getting her messages about what a woman ought to be? How about throwing away all the stereotypes, meeting other women who don't conform to sexual stereotypes and learning to celebrate her own unique version of female.

theDudesmummy · 23/06/2023 16:17

@EctopicSpleen Klinefelter is not "XZ". It is XXY. And so, like everyone else in the world who has that little Y chromosome in their genotype, a male.

MartyMcFlysPurpleUnderwear · 23/06/2023 16:17

EctopicSpleen · 23/06/2023 16:13

Never heard of Klinefelter's syndrome then? Look it up.

People with Klinefelters syndrome are boys and men with an extra X chromosome. So they have XXY. They are still biologically male so I am not sure what you’re trying to prove here.

Hidinginaonesie · 23/06/2023 16:18

EctopicSpleen · 23/06/2023 16:13

Never heard of Klinefelter's syndrome then? Look it up.

Xxy is still male.

loislovesstewie · 23/06/2023 16:19

@Terven, because someone always thinks that by saying 'oh but some people are intersex' they can prove that there are more than 2 sexes. Usually because they haven't taken the time to actually read anything about the subject. They have probably read some myth or fable about people who have a penis and a vagina and mammaries and a beard, and think it's more than a myth and that there are millions of people who are like that.

CliantheLang · 23/06/2023 16:19

CrispsnDips · 23/06/2023 13:48

When a baby I knew of was born neither male or female, the parents chose and an operation ensued…for that child there may have been complexities growing up. The hope would be that they could decide whether they were male or female ..my brain cannot compute the variances

Well, now you're just making shit up.

There are two sexes…
Sceptic1234 · 23/06/2023 16:19

SmartHome · 23/06/2023 16:07

Ok slightly pedantic point but yes see what you mean. These syndromes are caused by mutations in the androgen receptor itself. Sensitivity to steroids depends on many things, including metabolism of the hormone itself. In the case of testosterone...5ARD.

I would describe loss of 5ARD as a form of androgen insensitivity and I think most endocrinologist would agree with me. In the end it doesnt matter....cells cannot display a normal response to testosterone.

Blondey2023 · 23/06/2023 16:20

Uppitydown · 23/06/2023 13:46

There's 2 sexes.

Everything else is personality.

Couldn't have put it better myself

ditalini · 23/06/2023 16:20

Begsthequestion · 23/06/2023 16:11

Thanks for replying.

Clothing is a complicated one for me. I definitely don't want to be/feel like I am a man. I feel more female if I have to choose. But the idea of "being a woman" confuses me.

I feel very comfortable in masculine clothing most days (not just unfeminine/unisex clothing like jeans and t-shirts), like masculine cut shirts, trousers, jewellery etc. And not just physically comfortable, but more like myself. I usually wear mascara but I was basically raised to do that and feel kind of ugly without it.

Occasionally I'm ok with dressing in feminine clothing (but never heels) but it's an unpredictable thing, which is why I can rarely choose my outfit the night before an event because idk how I will feel when I get up in the morning. Putting on a dress or a woman's-cut top feels really weird sometimes, quite wrong.

I know clothing is just surface but as social animals it's how we present ourselves to each other and the world, and it seems to matter.

Can anyone else relate?

No. I literally do not give a shit about clothes. I know a lot of people do find their clothes important to them and that it allows them to express some aspect of their personality/identity whatever but I don't feel that at all.

I follow social codes for roughly what's "correct" in various situations as long as it's comfortable but I really don't care.

If I lived in the middle of nowhere I'd just dress for the weather. Actually, I mostly just dress for the weather now.

SmartHome · 23/06/2023 16:20

EctopicSpleen · 23/06/2023 16:13

Never heard of Klinefelter's syndrome then? Look it up.

Whats that got to do with anything? Men with Klinefelters are born with one extra of 1 of the 2 human sex chromosomes X or Y so are XXY.

Still males, still grow into men, Y choromosome still SRY intact, Y chromosome still sex-determining in mammals - even if you can find a handful of poor unfortunate souls that have made it to birth with a severe genetic issue like CAIS or even mosaisism. There are still 2 human sex chromosomes, 2 gametes, large and small and 99.9999% of the human population are born as male or female as intended by evolution.

Any tiny, highly unusual variation you can find, unuual DSD, SRY translocations, even mosaicism etc does not mean there is a third sex! A baby born with one leg does not mean that humans are not bipedal. Exceptions do not prove the rule people! Science GCSE 101!

BCCoach · 23/06/2023 16:20

EctopicSpleen · 23/06/2023 16:13

Never heard of Klinefelter's syndrome then? Look it up.

People with Klinefelter's syndrome are XXY. They are male.

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