Is anyone else 'Fappy'?

[WellWellWellWhatHaveWeHeree]

Is anyone else the above ? Fat and happy? (Not my abbreviation i saw it online) I've tried it all - slimming world, weight watchers, Cambridge, intermittent fasting, keto, low carbs, gym 7 days a week etc etc and I never drop below 100kg (I'm 5'8") and I'm so miserable
My options are either accept it (I'm healthy just big- size 16/18) and move on or look at a gastric band/bypass etc etc.

Is anyone else 'Fappy'? Am I being ridiculous even considering doing that and accepting my size?

YABU get the bypass you'll never be happy
YANBU I'm Fappy and you can be too

Nail on the head.

The whole diet industry is a total racket. With the exception of a few medically supervised ones, diets almost always fail and they breed a culture which fast-tracks a lot of women towards disordered eating and self-disgust.

You only have to read some of the threads on here in which people competitively under-eat to see how many women have internalised this shite.

Eating in moderation and with a variety of food groups and plenty of vegetables. Exercising and weight-lifting if possible. Avoiding too much alcohol, high-fat, sugar and processed food. There's really no more to it than that.

yeah, I am classed as obese

I am 5ft 3in, size 14-16 and weigh just under 12 stone, I am 53

I have tried not eating certain meals but just end up feeling dreadful, I have health probs too and so have a limited diet. When I do lose weight I just end up looking haggard and losing my boobs,

BUT I don't care anymore, I just eat what I want, life is too short and DH loves me as I am, we have been together forever, both changed physically with age, I think you need some extra weight on as you get older

Haven't read all replies so apologies if this has been stated already. All the diets and things you listed are just not sustainable long term so that's probably the reason why you have had no success. You need to eat less move more - it sounds impossible when you are at the start but honestly small changes to start with like not drinking all your calories (switch to sweetener or diet versions of fizzy drinks) low cal versions of the normal things you like to eat, weighing out your portions (not necessarily calorie counting but making sure you do not over eat without realising it) and finding an exercise or activity you enjoy. Walking is the best exercise you can do. People can be fat and happy as it's all down to your mindset, someone else said it before in the thread - it's unfortunate we put so much on being fat or thin. I try to speak to myself and my body like they belong to someone else (we are so mean to ourselves but would never speak the things we say about our own bodies to our friends or relatives). And to focus on what our bodies do for us, they are a vessel to sustain our life and whether we are fat or thin or in between they deserve thanks for all the hard work the do keeping us alive.

Fappy, the anti masturbation dolphin used to be HILARIOUS on fb .

So I am 45, 162 cm 5’3 and was at my absolute biggest start of the year at 80 kg /12. 6 st / 176 lb. The weight would not budge, tried everything , was battling perimenopause, underactive thyroid, gallbladder disease etc. I was never a “fattie” until I hit 40 (I was a size 8-10 until then).

Anyway, I was at my wits end and just cheated and went on weightloss meds at Easter time after failing yet another weightloss program. I am just desperate to get down to a healthy BMI. My cholesterol was up and I was just so darn tired all the time. Anyway the Saxenda has enabled me to lose 12 kg (almost 2 st) since Easter and I am down almost 2 dress sizes. The weightloss has given me more energy to exercise more.

I think I’d persevere, better to lose the weight now as it will harder when you’re older.

Apologies for not reading all PPs, only OP's comments and first couple of pages but I'm not sure I'd be looking at weight loss surgery in your shoes.

Your OP might have only been a summary but it sounds like want to lose weight so you've tried a lot of diets short term and spates of going to the gym every day but not really building good habits.

I do recognise your point- for various reasons (neuro meds,big retraining commitment, loving food and drink, feeling self conscious so never starting a habit of recreational sport) I have settled at a tall 12-14 so not massive but I do need to lose 2st to look and feel my best. I will give this another push, just need to get a horrible exam out of the way to focus in a week or so.

However surgery can be a lot riskier than private practices publicise and I wouldn't say you have a dauntingly large amount to lose.

I feel like you could make some real inroads by looking to start good habits that are easier to maintain than 7 days a week at the gym and the cambridge diet. Is there any reason you seem to approach it in this all or nothing way? I got up to a size 18-20 on certain meds and lost a lot (I prefer to work with dress sizes rather than weight due to past eating disorders) using myfitnesspal to stick to a calorie count- doesn't have to be miniscule- a step counter to log a long, brisk walk or jog a day and youtube fitness videos or the gym maybe 4 to 5 times a week. I found weights the most helpful.

Have you had your thyroid checked? I'd do this if you're losing nothing even short term on these crash diets.

I'd suggest exploring these avenues first, push through the first 2 weeks and it will get easier and more ingrained. You'll learn how to get the most from your calorie allowance (protein, high fibre, plenty of veg) and it actually gets quite enjoyable.

If you're only 40, in good health and don't have a huge amount to lose then I don't think surgery is the best option.

for a very long time I thought 'dogging' was just meeting up with friends to take your dogs for a walk. I also used to think nonce was an interchangeable word for ponce until someone pointed out the difference. Both are terrible words.

please haha, i genuinely thought this was a mumsnet ad for minute!

Actual 😂

If you're considering gastric bypass at size 16/18 and 5'8", then I think you probably have body dysmorphia. You might be somewhat overweight but you aren't anything close to the size where a gastric bypass would be a reasonable intervention. Gastric bypasses are for people who need to lose 10-15 stone, not 1-3 stone.

Im fat and unhappy. Not unhappy enough to get control of my eating though.

I honestly don't think it's a question of willpower. UPF is designed to make us crave it and it's very hard to avoid. There's sugar in virtually everything.

I've gone to the conclusion the only way out of it is to cut those things out of your diet as much as possible and learn to eat meat, fish, green veg and the lower sugar fruits. It's training your body to want real food instead of junk! Cream and butter aren't harmful so long as you aren't combining them with sugar.
But it's so so difficult to do because we are fighting our own bodies cravings.

Have you done Slimpod?

Yep, sorry OP I agree with the majority of PP and thought you were really into wanking and was going to give out some tips.. now I'm disappointed.

Generally used in verb form for wank/jizz around the English speaking world, difficult to say where from at this point.

Most people would look twice at that word, and assume you are the purveyor of, or recipient of the devil's mayonnaise.

No. People who claim they are are deluding themselves. Get yourself fit, healthy and lose the weight. Then you'll know what happy is!

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/fap

This is the best post I’ve ever read.

About losing weight - it's sad and boring but true, it's all about small but sustainable habit changes. Diets don't work because you can't live like that for long - then you feel like a 'failure' and go right back to the patterns that made you put weight on in the first place. It's terrible for your mental health.

Spend a some time keeping an honest food diary (including all snacks and drinks), and then take a look. Try to cut out a couple of hundred calories a day from that (which might only be one dessert or a couple of biscuits - easy), build a bit more walking into your everyday routine, and STICK WITH IT.

Your weight will come down. It will take weeks, maybe months, but it will come down. And that will be your new normal - easy to maintain, and you can build on that by making further small changes over time.

It's the ONLY way that works long-term.

Completely unrelated but DGM used to use bugger all the time. Bugger this, bugger that, I'll be buggered - until DB asked her if she knew what it meant. She didn't, so he explained it to her.

Shut her up completely, apparently.

I'm healthy just big

Are you though? If you believe you are healthy then why are you even considering surgery? For cosmetic reasons?

Yes and to stave off future health problems. Yes I'm very healthy - low blood pressure, low cholesterol etc etc and hardly ever ill.

You can get a detailed health review at Gp surgery over 40. Like a mot - it assessed risks of developing various diseases, blood tests etc. I thought it was helpful.
For me focusing on weight for health really made difference for me. Choosing healthy foods so I felt so much better really motivated me to carry on. Walking lots outside - good for mood and simply stops you sitting snacking at night. I lost 5 stone in 8 months. It only took me 6 months to go from obese to healthy bmi and I’d been overweight for years. Yes I’m happier but that wasn’t my motivation, nicer clothes etc are just an added bonus.

I am very very old. Throughout my life I have seen friends dieting, lose stones and those stones come right back, plus a little bit more every time. It is rare for someone to lose weight and keep it off. So - find a happy middle ground, where you are not too fat to walk but can feel good about yourself and find your own style. It seems to me our bodies know which weight they want to be and you mess with it at your peril.