Do you let your children have sleep overs with opposite sex?

[Maztek]

My Dd has a friend who I’m about 90% convinced is actually a little boy. They’re best friends and they play here all the time which is fine but they really want to plan a sleepover and I’m not sure. She’s never had a sleepover with a child of the opposite sex before and not sure if I’m just being overly cautious. They’re really sweet little kids and I’m sure all would be fine but I’m just feeling uneasy about it! They’re 9 for reference.

I would say you should not have this child for a sleepover because you don't know their parents!!!!

It doesnt appear anything of the sort!
The kid has a shaved head. Thats it. And school kids say that the kid is a boy (probably because of aforementioned shaved head).

There is literally ZERO evidence this isnt a girl.

OP you daughter will already have played doctor with boys, at school, I can guarantee it! Because body curiosity actually starts at 4-ish.
Its not a sleepover that is going to change that.

But its your house, and your child, so you will do whatever it is you want to do, Im sure!

I know kids attain puberty sooner now then my generation did c1972 but no mixed sleepovers when they're both 9???

What's the worst that could happen and if it did what are the consequences?

I wondering too. How does OP know the child and not know their parents?

It would be a hard NO from me however we was brought up quite strict and my dad told us "why do you want to sleep in someone else's bed when you have your own". We knew not even to ask!

There would be much pearl clutching! Only they have forgotten about kids playing doctor, at 5...

Im sorry, but thats a really weird take.

And not really that healthy... sleepovers are great, as they teach you some independence from your parents.

I feel like I was at my best friends house every other month, for a full weekend sleepover, and her at mine the other month!!! It was glorious!!!

Same!

my DD is 9 and I'd say no. She wouldn't want to share her room with a boy anyway or be undressed /in pyjamas around him. By this age, kids are more aware and conscious of their bodies and the opposite sex and are learning to be private.

Also, the fact you don't really know the family and the child would be an automatic no anyway. Come to play - yes, but no sleepover unless I know them.

Really not weird, it's incredibly common! It's only in very recent history (last 15 years I would say) were this wasn't the norm

Well until around 8 months ago, my dd's best friend was a boy and they did do sleepovers at each others houses. I don't have a problem with it - I take the lead from my dd about how comfortable she is. They are all very young and more interested in roblox than anything else.

I have older dds and this does change quickly! I wouldn't allow mixed sex sleepovers much into secondary school. I don't think, but it very depends on the children involved.

I had a friend at a similar age and thought he was a girl. He wasn't, just had long hair and a name I wasn't familiar with.

Kids are pretty clueless and go by all sorts of stuff. Presumably OP has a reason for thinking this kid is a boy beyond the haircut!

We let our youngest have sleepovers all the time with her friends that were girls (from age 8 I think) and one friend who was a boy of the same age. I still remember his teddy dear pjs. We did have a fair inkling that this boy would perhaps be gay though (he is!) so it never really was a worry at the time.

@ASGIRC true perhaps it's more common in your culture.... everyone's household is different this view is quite common in certain cultures.

My 10 year olds best friends are both girls. We give them somewhere separate to change/ privacy to shower etc... But they sleep on a spare bed in the same room. Let them be children as long as we can. Id be more concerned about not knowing parents though. In that case it'd be a hard no from me.

Surely a child with a shaved head is more likely to be a girl who wants to be a boy than vice versa? Why would a boy who was pretending to be a girl shave their head?

Prepubescent boys and girls look and sound identical so I'm not sure what features they can have that makes you think boy. Presumably it's the hair?

I think it's a girl who, for whatever reason, had a shaved head

They really don’t. It’s quite clear the difference between boys and girls.

I don't think little boys and girls look identical. There are some where you wouldn't be able to tell but lots where you would, or could have a jolly good guess - even without clothes/hair clues.

I was having sleepovers 20+ years ago and it definitely wasn't the norm.

The sex of the child is irrelevant given you don’t know the parents. I wouldn’t let a 9 year old have a sleepover with any child whose parents I didn’t know well.

And yet so many people think 8 yo DS is a girl even tho he isn't. Because hair makes a huge difference to how they look and good is long.

But honestly it's a bit odd that they're walking home alone to yours at 9 and playing your house and then presumably the kid is walking themselves home and you have no idea if they've always had a shaved head, wore dresses, who their parents are etc. If they're new it's even weirder that you haven't met the parents.

I really don’t think it’s weird to not have met their parents. I don’t really know any of the parents of kids that come and go. They’re past the age of arranging play dates now they just come and go as they please.

And if one of them plays at yours and never makes it home, will you be saying "but they're NINE! Why would I care where they went?"