To think my sister should think carefully about her wedding date?

[ThroughGraceAlone]

My sister (28f) just got engaged. (or rather, they are just waiting for the ring and will then make it public/announce it, but her bf has gone round to chat to my dad)
My sister and whole family live in a different continent. Myself, DH and 2 children live in the UK.

We (me, DH, kids) have flight tickets to go back home for Christmas. But we fly out end of November and are only returning in the middle of January. (+- 7 weeks) We especially made our trip home that long because we were kind of expecting an engagement and wanted to give my sister ample time to plan the wedding if they wanted us included.

My sister phoned me crying yesterday explaining how she and bf had been wanting to get married in October, but obviously really want us there, but really do not want to wait till December. Besides, she argues that December is a hard time to get married.
{for context, we are a large close-knit family, having a big Christmas get together)
She does not want to miss Christmas with us and family, to be on her honeymoon if she gets married December. ( we have another family wedding 15th of December so she argues with another wedding and Christmas, when is she going to fit in her wedding? )
I get that, really, she wants to feel special not pushed in somewhere, she wants a nice long honeymoon, but not have to miss family events and get married sooner rather than later.

But we make things difficult. To add to that my mom has apparently said the's intentionally being difficult by not just having the wedding when we are there.

Realistically best choice would be to get married in January (after Christmas and everything) and I can help with arrangements etc or then October and we miss out.

I do not want to influence my sister either way as I think it is her choice, but don't want her to regret it down the line. ( the photos I have of my wedding with my sisters helping me get ready are special to me)

What would you do? Is it reasonable to expect November, December or Jan or should they just do October.
Thanks for reading this far!!

My only priority when getting married was that all our loved ones could make it. We worked our date out base on that and went from there.

She's putting you in a horrible situation, she wants to get married in October, that's fine if it's important to her. But also expects you to be delighted with the idea, and happy to either not go or spend a fortune on an extra trip, that's not fair at all.

Hi guys.
Thank you for the (mostly) positive responses here at the end.
I've thought about it and as someone else mentioned,
.she should be given the space to come to her own decision.
Initially, because my opinion was asked I thought about what my opinion should be.
a.) to say, you know what, in the grander scheme of things, waiting one month to get married is not so bad, you have a lifetime ahead of you. If it is important to you that we are all there (which it sounds like it is), I would say just wait that month. I know it feels long, but it isn't as bad.
OR
b.) October is a beautiful month, do it! It will be lovely. We'll see you for a big bash when we come over for Christmas! Don't think about us!

But now, thanks to some thinking and you guys, I've realised and decided, I'm not going to have an opinion, because she'll better accept any decision she's made if she made it herself, without input.

I also think the phone call was more to let of steam you know, and to be able to state all her frustrations. Which is also valid. In hindsight, I don't even think she wanted an opinion, just to have someone LISTEN.

I think life will also dictate her decision anyway. Getting an venue and planning a wedding for October is going to be hard in any case, she has a full time job, my mom and her new MIL are also busy and it wold have been stressfull to plan it for october anyway. But I don't have to point that out, she'll figure it out without input.

Also, to the posters saying I'm making it all about myself, I truly wasn't trying to do that, but appreciate that my wording was weird! ( I wanted the title to fit in with AIBU. I can't very well ask 'Am I being unreasonable to choose option a or b to say to my sister, what do you think MN?)

Anyway I'm sure it will be a lovely wedding and everything will work out. DSis does love a bit of drama occasionally and I think we've all tried to faff about the dates now and in the end my sis is practical and do what she feels best. (without needing my input. ) I shouldn't have felt pressure to find a 'solution' for her. She's a grown woman with a mom, fiance and MIL who'll all no doubt have their own advice and preferences.

I remember with my own wedding, how venues and availability of vendors and how much you as the bride have on your plate apart from the weeding dictated the date anyway!

I hope my last update clarifies it a bit!

You didn’t tell her before you booked the flights. She found out after.

You never addressed that fact and why you didn’t tell her before you booked. Why didn’t you say, I’m booking my flights right now and here’s what I’m doing. Instead, you booked flights without telling her. She found out after. Hence the crying phone call.

You are sly as the dickens.

She booked flights because at some point she had to, if she wants to be home at Christmas! There's nothing sly about booking as long a visit as she dan reasonably manage. Particularly when the sister had been pressed for dates and wouldn't give any.

Even knowing sis wanted an October wedding, might not have altered the outcome since OP wants to be home at Christmas and has her own life commitments to consider.

What is wrong with you??