To think people in the UK are very lax generally about children being left alone?

[Toxicityofourcity]

Not from the UK. Some of the threads on here baffle me when it comes to leaving children alone. Children as young as 10 and 11 getting themselves home from the school, bus etc and letting themselves into an empty house. Being left for a few hours on their own. Have just read a thread about a 16yr old being left for 4 days... because she has to mind some cats?!? WTF? I just don't understand. This is not something that's done in my country at all. Is it a cultural thing? Do people not worry about house fires, accidents, abductions etc.? I just really don't understand it. But here on MN it seems totally acceptable?

So your children will go from being constantly looked after, to going away for college? Are you well?

How will they build their independence and awareness?

what if they go to college the other side of the country? Or will they be too young to leave your county 🙄

im from rural Ireland, my opinion is that you’re the one in the minority.

I honestly think this is the op with the anti British agenda. Too similar to what I remember of their threads.

I'm it depends it he child as well, surely? Some children are more mature/responsible than others and can be trusted alone. Although I think this is something that can be learnt and if you don't give them a chance then they'll grow up with no life skills.
I could happily let my young children walk the short distance to primary school alone, but the school wouldn't allow it unfortunately!

Well it depends on the child...

It's you, hi, you're the problem.

Slightly hmmm at @Toxicityofourcity‘s self designated spokesperson of All Ireland’s Parents (apart from maybe Dublin which she’s a bit dubious about what they might be at up in the capital ….where 25% of the population live)😂😂😂

And her mentions of “our culture” and “our country”.😂😂
She sounds like a mildly anxious parent of which there are many in Ireland and the UK. In the same way as there are ones that are more relaxed and even more terrified of “harm” at ages when kids can and should cope.
Knowing both countries very very well I’d say Irish rural kids & non urban are probably less streetwise than UK equivalent. Irish parents are a lot less reliant on endless car ferrying. And the fact that they start secondary a year later keeps them a bit younger which is nice. But I’d say stats for leaving alone / what age would probably pan out as similar.
Not sure why OP wouldn’t leave a secondary school age child at home for 2-3hrs given that’s 12+, not 11+ as here

*more reliant on carry ferrying

Personally think year 7 is a good age for most children to start building independence (walking and taking bus) for secondary school.

Don’t agree with kids being ferried to secondary school in most circumstances.

Being home for up to 2 hours at 11 is ok. The parent available on the phone however and ideally close by if not at home.

I personally wouldn’t leave a 16 year old alone overnight, let alone 4.

UK generally more cautious, but there is some variation.

in France aware children walk much younger and common to be left overnight for a weekend even younger than 16. I believe this is the case in other European countries as well but have no direct experience.

Ireland, OP? One of the safest countries in the world?
sorry, but it’s a you thing, your paranoia.
I’m from Ireland and most kids behave very similarly to U.K. ones, including go to and from school themselves from 9,10 11 years old.

Sorry I mean year 6

I'm confused, I thought the UK was Ireland too? And British also included Irish? Although ime I find it's only English people that refer to themselves as British and Irish say they're Irish and Scottish say they're Scottish. Can someone enlighten me as I have had this debate with my DH before.

10/11 to start walking to and from school and spending a few hours alone is really late compared to many countries I think - and compared to the way things were in UK not too many decades ago.

It’s plenty old enough for a bit of independence.

A few days alone at 16, when a person could potentially (even if not advisable) have kids and set up their own home seems fine too.

My friends from the Netherlands think it extraordinary how much we mollycoddle the kids over here! The kids there are here there and everywhere on their bikes from a young age. Which country are you from OP?

I know English parents like you too - there’s always a few who think their kids are going to be kidnapped the second they are out of their.sight.
and the harsh reality is that children are abused by men they know for the most part not strangers

My eldest was working full time from the age of 16 (apprenticeship). He still lives at home but earns more than enough to be able to move out if he wants to. Last summer he travelled to Canada, this summer he’s off to France. And he will be left alone for a week when we go away. Because he has a job to go to, has a holiday booked with his friends and doesn’t want to use more of his annual leave coming away with us.

So from my perspective your concerns about leaving a 16 year old home alone for 4 days baffles me.

@Mamaneedsadrink are you for real? Are you not aware that the Republic of Ireland is a separate country ? ? Northern Ireland is part of the U.K. ( for now anyway) but the Republic is not.

When I was 16 I went off ALONE on a student exchange - where I travelled alone, stayed for a few weeks with strangers and travelled back to my own country alone.

No - Ireland is not UK, it’s a separate country!

UK is a nation state, part of the UN etc. So is Ireland.

I think you’re thinking of the British Isles, which is a name for the “group” (don’t know correct word) of islands that we’re part of.

UK is England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Island

Britain is the Island that we’re on if you’re in E W or S

I personally don’t know of any 10-11 year olds who are latch key kids nor walk themselves home from school alone at that age. Me and DB were left at home at that age either together or alone if we were sick but DM rang and came home at lunchtime to see to us.

16 year olds yes quite common to leave alone whilst parents are away. As long as they can cook, use washing machine, have basic safety skills etc then shouldn’t be an issue. Most of them have neighbours or relatives on hand to check on them.

My DM in 1950s from 11 was a latchkey kid but she had the cafe for her dinner, and her DM and stepdad ran their own business. She did have au pairs looking after her too.

I have Irish relatives, their kids aren't mollycoddled

I think that a lot of mid to late teens lack resilience because children are much more protected than when I was a child. We see it on discussions here all the time.

Looking back to the late 70's - at 16 I was working 1.5 days every weekend in a shop and walking or cycling about a mile there and back on estate roads alone. I would have been catching buses alone and going for cycle rides with friends by the time I was 13. But I was on a regular public bus with a gang of mixed age children from the forces camp where we lived when I was primary age. We all gathered at the stop to catch it, the smaller ones had a parent with them. At school the bus drove into the car park to drop us off. I was in full time work at 17, travelling alone by bus and train unless I bumped into friends on the way. Paying 1/3 of my income for 'keep'.
Letting a 16 year old stay home alone these days, with their mobile phone and nearby neighbours aware seems perfectly reasonable to me. In a couple of years they can be off to Uni alone, living in much less sheltered conditions.

Children need to learn. My 16 year old has been left for a weekend to look after our dog when we've been away. She's also now got a part time job, heaven forbid you give them responsibility. 11 year olds onwards should be able to get themselves to and from school. No worries!

I grew up in Germany, walked to Kindergarten on my own when I was five, then to school when I started a year later. The first time I remember being left home on my own I was about eight.
I knew all the neighbours, had memorised all important phone numbers like grandparents, parents' work numbers etc.
When I was nine I picked up my brother from Kindi on days school finished early.
In secondary school we went on a ten day trip to another European country, none of us spoke the language but still the teachers let us explore on our own in small groups of at least three people. Probably even worse for the OP, as all of us were 16 (and with parental permission) we were allowed to drink alcohol on that trip.

My niece is now six and stays home on her own for 30 minutes or so during school holidays when my sister is picking my nephew up from Kindergarten. She's been walking to her grandparents on her own since she was four, admittedly it is a village where everyone knows each other and the grandparents are only a five minute walk away.
Once she starts secondary school she will have to take the bus to school in the next town. She'll be 10 by then. All fairly normal over there.

Hmm to be fair I do have family in Ireland who do seem to have been coddled a loooottt more even after 18+.

I’d get the bus home, get into an (empty) house, walk the dog and then start putting tea on if I’d been asked to in high school. I don’t get what the big issue is OP. I’m a very independent, successful young adult now and I don’t think I’d be where I am without being allowed to be independent at that age.

Not read everything, but I also think it's the opposite. In scandinavia where I am from children are alone much earlier too. Parenting isn't just physially caring for your kids, it's teaching them things too. Like independence.