To think people in the UK are very lax generally about children being left alone?

[Toxicityofourcity]

Not from the UK. Some of the threads on here baffle me when it comes to leaving children alone. Children as young as 10 and 11 getting themselves home from the school, bus etc and letting themselves into an empty house. Being left for a few hours on their own. Have just read a thread about a 16yr old being left for 4 days... because she has to mind some cats?!? WTF? I just don't understand. This is not something that's done in my country at all. Is it a cultural thing? Do people not worry about house fires, accidents, abductions etc.? I just really don't understand it. But here on MN it seems totally acceptable?

I was cycling into the village and walking to school with my friend aged nine. At just eleven I was getting onto a bus to go to school. At three or four I was tricycling in the street on my own 😂. I think the problem now is there are far fewer people out and about. Having taught kids of all ages though, I don't think the UK start young with independence - if anything lockdown has slowed it up a bit.

It’s called not mollycoddling your kids. You know what your kids are capable of. I find some cultures are far too over protective where as children need to learn independence and the skills to look after themselves and by giving them independence, they also grow in confidence.
I certainly don’t worry about abduction( I think you have to be seriously unlucky for that to happen)

Goodness me OP, whatever you do, don't go to Tokyo! DH went there a few years ago for work and was totally amazed at all the tiny little kids, (probably 5,6 or 7 years old), travelling alone on the underground with their little satchels and lunch boxes. He expressed his surprise at them travelling to school alone to his Japanese counterpart, who simply smiled and said, 'but why shouldn't they? They're perfectly alright, they know where they're going. And anyway, the other passengers will all look out for them'. I was deeply impressed!

Actually I worked with a lady who was half Dutch and half Serbian and she used to leave her 12 year old all day with her 6 and 3 year old whilst she was at work.

So in my experience the UK is one of the countries most uptight about children being left alone? Most of Europe is baffled at how social services can get involved if kids under 14 are left unsupervised.

Obviously different times but age 6-7 I would be allowed to go the local cornershop with an older neighbour, or play by myself on the street. Aged 7 walked to school alone like almost all the other kids. We would have been embarrased if our mum or dad would have tagged along.

Back to the current decade, my friends' kids are aged 8-9 in a city centre and take the bus alone for a couple of stops to go home after school, it would be quite uncommon for a parent to do a 'school pickup' unless it's a rural area or very far from home. Kids have the key and get home and get on with their homework for a couple of hours until mum or dad gets home from work. It would be very unusual for parents to interrupt their work because school aged children can´t be left alone.

Granted, where I grew up a very safe country with not too many social problems, but the amount of supervision kids must have in the UK was a big culture shock. Seeing kids as old as 13-14 in parts of London being walked to school just seemed unusual. Also the fact that so many people have to work part-time hours becase, again, children cannot be left alone.

I can't think of another country where kids have less alone-time and supervision than the UK. So where are you from, OP? I can only guess the states.

Source? 🤨

I think it depends on the parents attitude, I let my son, walk down to the local shop, bottom of the road. When he was 10, I watched him walk down the street, from our landing window, I could see him but he didn't know I was watching him. I was worried the whole time.
I then let him start walking to school, just towards the end of his primary school, as he was moving up to secondary school, he was safe as, it was side streets and the main road had lollipop man, (helps kids to cross the road)
However my sister does leave her kids alone a lot, she has been doing this for a while, she is a single mum, but let's her kids fend for themselves a lot.
It shocks me, when I see kids kicking around alone in the street where we live, zipping around on a scooter, no parents watching, if they fell into the road, they could get hit by a car and no one would know, I know they need some independence, but not keeping an eye on them isn't good. Especially as cars zoom up our road fast.

The OP isn't lying. Someone called the police on me because my daughter was sitting on the porch enjoying the cool air after a hot, humid day. She is 8 and our house is one story. And small. I have had CPS called because my children, who get picked up in a car, did not have gloves on for the walk from the school door to my car door. In October. And maybe it is not a big story in the UK, but parents have been arrested and had their children taken for letting their 8 and 10 year old NT and normally cognitive children walk to and play at the park without adults around. They feel this way because parents are treated this way. And it is a cycle because they will become the ones in the future calling the police on a child playing in their own yard or reporting people to CPS because an 11 year old is home alone for 3 hours a day, 2 days a week even though no accidents have happened and the child spends that time watching shows, eating, reading, and laughing at tiktoks. Very much USA.

I had a full time job when I was 16. Why wouldn't my parents leave me to go on holiday when I had work?

Dozens of posters have come on here to contradict the OP's depiction of child care in Ireland so whilst the OP might not be lying their perspective is certainly not widely shared if this thread is anything to go by. And Ireland is not comparable to the USA given the massive differences in population and size of these countries.

You do realise that 16 year olds can marry?

Compared to many other European countries British children walk to school alone at an older age and have a lot less freedom. I live in Spain and Spanish kids are left alone from a younger age and often expected to look after younger siblings. It’s also pretty common for young teens to be allowed out into 11/12 at night in the summer and 15 year olds allowed out until 3/4am during the fiestas.

I'm sorry OP but you are definitely in the minority in Ireland. My family is originally from Ireland and although I don't live there now, I have many many family members who do. They live in Donegal, Clones, Killarney and Dublin to name a few. Children are most definitely getting themselves to and from primary school if it's in walking distance from year 3/4 and most secondary school kids walk far to get buses, maybe even getting two or three to get to and from school and come home to an empty house until the parents get home from work, children as young as 10 and 11 which you say doesn't happen. It very very much does. It seems to be your parenting style and that's fine, that up to you, but you shouldn't generalise the whole population of Ireland and say it's the same as what you think

Op, at 16 I moved out of my parents house and to a house share 300 miles across the country. When I was 7 and lived abroad I was walking home from school on my own, going out with friends alone, going to the park on my own and I stayed at our flat on my own too. Its perfectly fine. Its good to teach kids some independence. What age is OK to leave an almost adult alone if its not safe to do so by 16?

Honestly if my 16 year old was unable to be left alone I'd be feeling like I'd failed as a parent.

And I'm sorry, a 16 yr old being left for 4 days to mind some bloody cats is just irresponsible IMO.

When I was 16, I was often alone at home all weekend; probably safer in the house than when I was off camping and hiking. Never had any problems at all.

One of my sons walked and camped the West Highland Way alone, when he was 16.

Are you serious?!? We teach children how to cope with emergencies and what to do. In Japan children are often left much younger.
I stayed home for a week at 16 - I was very sensible.
perhaps allow your children to grow up free of the bubble wrap helicopter parenting.

We have some Scandinavian mums at school who were surprised at 9 year olds not being allowed to the park on their own!

16 is a grown up, pretty much. At that age I worked, looked after myself etc.

In UK it’s actually 18 now

You can get married in Scotland at 16. The UK isn't just England

I am born and bread here and we have five children 4 grown up and never have we ever left them alone nor have they had a key to the house until adults. My children are sensible and it's not that I dont trust them, I just don't trust other people. Anyone could be watching and monitoring them. Our work has always been around the children .I know some aren't able to do that. My mum was a single hard working mum she only had me but if I wasn't at the trusted child minders I was with her. So no it not a cultural thing. I understand some people can't always be there for their children. However the way the world has gone it's just not safe to leave children on their own.

I have 5 kids too, all now in their twenties and thirties, all still living with me because you know you just can't be too careful, the world is a dangerous place and so it's just really best if we all live together so I can make sure they are all safe and well looked after, I mean it's just responsible parenting really isn't it? 🤷‍♀️

Yep, 16 in Northern Ireland too

Agree with you

I wouldn’t do, and haven’t done, any of the things you mentioned. I don’t think you can tar everyone with the same brush.

I do agree with you though, that some on MN think 16 year old are adults and should be able to look after themselves no matter what.

I believe it's the opposite OP and you appear to be making generalisations. It's not my understanding of how children are brought up in the UK, and not something I have experienced.