To think people in the UK are very lax generally about children being left alone?

[Toxicityofourcity]

Not from the UK. Some of the threads on here baffle me when it comes to leaving children alone. Children as young as 10 and 11 getting themselves home from the school, bus etc and letting themselves into an empty house. Being left for a few hours on their own. Have just read a thread about a 16yr old being left for 4 days... because she has to mind some cats?!? WTF? I just don't understand. This is not something that's done in my country at all. Is it a cultural thing? Do people not worry about house fires, accidents, abductions etc.? I just really don't understand it. But here on MN it seems totally acceptable?

Looks like OP has disappeared, funny that, definitely not a wind up thread or anything tho 🤔

If anything I'd say Britain is more uptight about this than most of mainland Europe, and in comparison to Britain 20 or 30 years ago. More relaxed than the USA, but then in much of the USA it's unsafe to cross the road at any age.

YABU. In my experience it’s usually the opposite! Quite right too; young children shouldn’t be left alone bar unavoidable short periods as one off’s (and obviously never at all under 11).

I don't understand the disbelief over a 16 year old being on their own for four nights. When I was 16, I was going camping in the countryside without a soul to be seen for miles for about a week at a time with friends 🤷‍♀️ my mum didn't leave me alone at home overnight to be fair, but she certainly would have if the opportunity arose I'm sure.

OP, if no 16 year old is ever left at home with a 'free house' where you are, then how are they getting their fill of forbidden house parties?! It's a rite of passage to drink alcohol snatched from your parents' cupboard in a friend of a friend's living room whilst everyone pretends to be a lot more drunk than they actually are, surely?!

I don't think it's bashing. It might be that some posters are actually discovering things are done differently in different placesand are trying to process that🙈
I always find these threads interesting.

You are talking utter nonsense that it's not the done thing in Ireland. I have been leaving my 12 year old alone, for short times since she was 9. Now at 12 she can be home alone for a couple of hours. My neighbours do the same with their kids. All my DC friends have been left home alone since around 9/10 for short times too.

Some of my DC school friends make their own way home from primary school, 6th class and have been doing so since they were 11. (Mine get the school bus) Why on earth do you not see this as the norm? I'm utterly baffled that you're saying it's unusual.

Yeah I'm from Ireland too and I don't recognise anything the OP is talking about.

If you can’t leave a 16year old home for 4 days then you have gone seriously wrong with your parenting.

Hah! Those I suppose there was uphill both ways, just downhill too 😂
But for my mum (well, more her older siblings) it was row across the lake from the island to the school on the mainland, or ski across it in winter, or live at the school during the time of year when you can't ski or row. My uncle almost drowned doing that. Thankfully my children don't have to live up to that! A mere walk or ski through the forest is nothing in comparison.

Things are NOT different here, how many times do you have to be told. YOU are the exception. Most children (excluding special needs) are well able to be left for short times at age 10/11. My 13 yo niece babysits other, younger children ffs.

I don’t think the OP is from Ireland. She started the thread at 4am and used the word “Mum” quite a few times. That shibboleth gave it away I think.

I used to come home from school at the age of 7 and wait unsupervised until our dad came back from work. My sisters were 8 and 9 at the time.

Then dad and stepmother went on holiday to Spain for a fortnight, when we were 13, 14 and 15. A lady from across the road came over in the afternoons, to help us make dinner and to check that the house was clean, tidy and presumably, not on fire.

We normally went to my aunt's, down South, during school holidays, but they were away at the same time.

You may have a point about the timezone (though from what I remember the OP says she comes from a large town in the south west, though that's not very specific?) but a lot of Irish people use 'Mum'. I call my own mother 'mum' and DS calls me 'mum' when he's not calling me by my first name 'because everyone else does'...

It's her generalisations that are so odd. I'm sure there are people who parent as she does, and absolutely there are rural places where remoteness means children need to be driven around more, and where parental workplaces are so far from home, younger children are less likely to find themselves home alone because the distances are too great, but it's her insistence that no Irish parents do this is weird...

Kids are usually allowed from high school age (11/12) to be on their own in the house for a couple of hours. At this age it is widely considered that it's safe enough for them to walk to school and home on their own...so why would it be more unsafe for them to be alone in their own house for a couple of hours? They are surely at more risk walking home.

At that age, kids are only home for one or two hours until their parents get home from work. It's a great way to build independence and responsibility.

At 16 we left school, some of us got our own place and got a job or college. Now it's 18. It's getting less and less that have the common sense to do this at 16 though as we are keeping our children younger for longer. I am 38, I left school at 16 and went to college. Got a part time job and paid my mam money towards food and bills. Met my now hubby at 17 and we bought our own house at 21 through hard work. I would expect toddlers of 2 and 3 to play with things they shouldn't not 14+. At 14 I was regularly babysitting every weekend lol so responsible for younger kids while parents were out. Obviously it depends on the maturity and every person is different.

And you also have to consider the maturity of the child. I have a teenage sister who I would trust to babysit my 4 year old, however I have nieces and nephews who are slightly older at 15-19 and I would not trust them.

Not every one leaves school at 18 ,for a start not all schools have a sixth form
And second!y despite what mumsnet believes not all. 18 year olds do A levels or for to university
My 16 year old left school.last Friday after his last GCSE exam and starts college in September.

Of course it's not irresponsible, if my DCs were unable to stay at home for a few days I would consider my parenting skills to have been severely lacking (excl additional needs of course)

I am agree with the pp that kids appear to be babied on MN, even people seem to have issues treating their 18yo DCs like adults and don't leave them alone.

I moved from the north east to Winchester at 16 to attend Sparsholt college! Was on my own every weekend in dorms.

When I was 16 I stopped going on family holidays because I didn't want to go anymore.

Naturally mum and dad stopped paying for the pet sitter, filled the freezer, put aside some emergency money - dad even hid a few bottles of beer for me "don't tell your mother" - and left me to get on with it for 1-2 weeks.

Nothing bad ever happened, and I wasn't scared or scarred by it at all!

It sounds cobblers, Apart from anything else there are no large towns in SW Ireland (I'm Irish btw, live not far from a typical small town). One not very huge city, plenty of small towns, no large ones. And none where child abductions are a common occurrence.

OP it sounds like you live in a very isolated place where kids wouldn’t be able to get themselves around on public transport because there isn’t any, and the roads would be too dangerous to walk on as there’s no pavements. Would also be worrying to leave teenagers home alone for a few days as there would be nowhere nearby they could go for help if needed.

for people who live in towns and cities, it’s very easy, safe and common for children to get the bus/tube/train to school from 11 and to walk a short distance to primary school in year 5/6. Cars would take too long due to traffic or due to parents’ commute. Often the kids go in groups or at least in twos, so they’re not actually on their own for the journey.

As for being left alone at home for a few hours at 10, what exactly are you worried about there? I was home alone for an hour every evening at that age. I was ordered not to use the oven and could be trusted not to. I also knew not to open the door to anyone. I knew at least 6 neighbours I could run to if there was any emergency and could of course also dial 999.

Nothing ever happened, I just did my homework, got myself some squash and fruit for a snack and watched tv if I had time. Hardly a nightmare scenario!

@Toxicityofourcity what country are you from?

Op is from a large town in the south west of Ireland called Ballybullshit I believe 🤔