To think people in the UK are very lax generally about children being left alone?

[Toxicityofourcity]

Not from the UK. Some of the threads on here baffle me when it comes to leaving children alone. Children as young as 10 and 11 getting themselves home from the school, bus etc and letting themselves into an empty house. Being left for a few hours on their own. Have just read a thread about a 16yr old being left for 4 days... because she has to mind some cats?!? WTF? I just don't understand. This is not something that's done in my country at all. Is it a cultural thing? Do people not worry about house fires, accidents, abductions etc.? I just really don't understand it. But here on MN it seems totally acceptable?

So it is a 'legal' stipulation to be 14 in ROI as there is no such stipulation in England, unsure about the other countries that make up UK?

I only started leaving my 11 year old daughter (now 12) when she started high school as there is no provision anywhere for children that age before/after school. We live right next door to the high school and she can talk to me on the phone before/after school as my job involves driving. I have no choice but to leave her on her own h Tim I return from work at around 6 pm. I’d say 16 year olds are more than capable of looking after themselves for a few days. It’s legal! As long as they have a strong support network and someone for emergencies close by then what’s wrong with that?

Actually in any anonymous survey, people tend to exaggerate their sexual experience rather than lie the other way.
I'll try and find the evidence but (with significant regional and "class" variations) every sexual health worker will tell you that age at first sexual experience is - on average - increasing.

Probably because there isn´t one. I am Spanish and my mum would travel to England and I would keep house at 17. I was in charge of my brother, who was 3 years younger. When I was 13 I would take my brother home from school (around 25 minutes away) and heat up the food my mum had made as she got in much later and we had to be ready for afternoon school. Thankfully my mum taught us to be independent.
What there is is that you cannot ABANDON a minor like you seem to be able to do in England. Like when I read people have been kicked out at 16 from home by their parents. To me this is disgusting and would get you in front of a judge for what is called "abandono de menores".

I was born and brought up in the UK, and actually I think that young people (including children, but up to young adults as well) are much more wrapped in cotton wool than they were when I grew up. I think the OP is being histrionic thinking that an hour alone for a responsible child or travelling on public transport alone is tantamount to neglect. Just based on personal observations, I see many young adults joining the workplace who lack the kinds of resilience and basic life skills that they need to get on with life because they have had everything provided for them / been ferried from one place to another by parents etc., etc. I know 30 year olds who still live at home and expect mum and dad to do most things for them (mostly mum, of course) and who think that wages are designed for enjoyment alone, feeling hard done to because they are expected to pay rent or do housework in the home they live in.

I live in uk and baffles me also. The amount of 9-10 year olds that leave my sons school alone, let themselves in and wait till parents come home several hours later I will never understand. The comment about minority well that also isn't what I see either. And the 16 being left for 4 days yep not happening in our family

At 12 I got a metro and a short walk to school (not UK) and (being in Scotland by this point) when I left school to move away for uni I was 17. This was/is fairly typical I think, and Im surprised that the OP thinks it's lax.

Like others, I'm surprised that the OP thinks it's so awful/a matter for child protective services etc that an upper primary/lower secondary kid gets public transport alone. Also given that a 17 year old could leave home and go to uni, is it really so unbelievable that a child a few months younger could be left alone for a few days?

OP, I think it's more that you come from quite a sheltered/overprotective circle of people rather than the UK or Dublin being super lax 😂

I’d say the opposite, OP - a lot of people are IMO over-protective of their children, certainly compared with previous eras. People are much more conscious of dangers such as paedophiles nowadays, though I do well remember being warned about getting into a car with anybody, or talking at all to strange (as in unknown) men.

When I was still only 5 and yet to start school, so unable to read, my DM would send me, with the money and a list, a good 15 minute walk to the shop - albeit a quiet area with no roads to cross. To be entirely fair, she had a young baby and a toddler at home, at a time (1950s) with no car, no central heating (coal fires only) no automatic washing machine, etc..

But who on earth would even dream of doing this this nowadays?

I think legislation was passed in Ireland a few years ago saying anyone 14 and under are not allowed to be left alone, but most people here either don’t know about it or think it’s overkill. It depends on your child, some are capable and some not.

I live in Ireland OP, in the countryside where older siblings drive their younger siblings to school.

In Dublin my teenage nephews can safely walk home from school including navigating busy junctions.

It should be noted that Ireland has one of the highest rates of obesity including in children and young people. Young adults entering 3rd level education don’t know how to cook and are ordering take aways because mum always cooked dinner.

No it’s a recommendation not a law. Recommendation comes from Tulsa who are our social services. In the real world my son and his friends who are 13 have been slowly built up spending time alone in house over last couple years so they would be used to it as kids get home from school before parents get home from work.

Once kids are too old for childcare they get left home alone. Summer holidays are longer here. Nine weeks in summer for primary and about 12 weeks for secondary school. There aren’t summer camps etc for 12/13/14 year olds.

House fires and abductions?

Where do you come from? Sounds awfully dramatic

I stayed home on my own for 4 days aged 16 while my parents were on holiday because I had a job and I had to work. I guess there are some 16 year olds who would not be responsible enough but I absolutely was.

Is it actual law though because if it is then nobody knows about it.

Irish here as well OP. We live rurally, and in some respects, like playing out until dark, it's very safe.

But the rural roads are too dangerous without a hard shoulder or path for teens to cycle - even if you plaster them head to toe in flashing lights and high-vis. It's just not done in our locality. It's a shame, if there were safe cycle lanes, DS would love to cycle to school (about 6km from the house) and back with his friends.

During the summer you've got agricultural machinery bombing down the road often driven by a 16yo at speed thinking he's in the Fast and the Furious 🙄and in the winter it's too dark with no street lights to walk or cycle.

There's a school bus. One trip to and one trip back from school. No other public transport option. A fuck up by Bus Eireann in Sept 2022 meant that loads of people who didn't need tickets got them "just in case" and left the ones who depend on a bus fucked for a few months at the beginning of the school year. And if he misses the only bus that evening? fuck all good if I'm 50km away at the office. It's not like the bigger towns where there will be another bus along in a half hour.

DS is 11. He could get off the bus at the top of the road, and let himself in during term time, but Tusla recommend that under 14s don't spend extended time alone at home, so that's a pain for the summer. I've also got a neighbour who would report you for anything, so they would be on the phone to Tusla the first week. And I'm rather too busy to have to sit through a malicious SS assessment.

If I worked locally and could be there in 20 mins in any emergency it might be different but my commute is 90 mins one way. Myself and another mum have dovetailed our WFH days for the summer and if it goes well, we might keep it going next year too. It means that he's got company too for the summer.

@StarmanBobby people in NI aren't all British. I'm not. I'm Irish.

I think it’s the opposite, many teens and young adults are babied beyond belief these days.

A 16yo is perfectly capable of staying in their own home for 4 days. Bemused as to what OP thinks changes between 16 and 17 to be so shocked that a 16yo would be left alone.

I stayed home alone at 16 got a week while the rest of my family went on holiday and LOVED it. Nice, safe way to get used to looking after yourself (in your own environment)

It's always been the norm here - in fact, it's less of the norm now than it ever was in the past. I was babysitting and looking after my younger brother and sister on my own from the age of 11. That wasn't considered odd in the 70s. Depends on the child and what they're capable of handling. Obviously there are some kids you wouldn't leave on their own, but my son at 14 is over six foot and more capable of dealing with eg an intruder than I am. A 16 year old is a young adult and more than capable of looking after themselves for a few days. I went on holiday with my mates on my own at that age. It seems odd that people would think this too young.

Here is the guidance https://www.tusla.ie/uploads/content/Tusla_-_Short_guide_for_parents_who_are_newly_arrived_in_Ireland_1.pdf

People in the UK are quite the opposite of lax about children being left alone, they wait much later to allow them independence than many other countries.
I'm in Finland, its very normal for 7 year olds to go out and about alone, and stay home alone for an hour or two, so normal that the national child protection country gives advice on how to prepare your 6/7 (the age they start school) for this.

This is not very helpful as it's "16 and over" but it does show the trend between 2009 and 2018 (table 10 I think).

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1035872/DfE_Appendices_SRE_and_sexual_risk-taking_research_brief_Nov-21.pdf

I'm honestly starting to wonder if the OP is actually "Irish-American" with a vivid imagination. The States is the only country I know that is more paranoid about child safety than the UK, and the Irish parents I know are relaxed and give their kids plenty of independence.

And at 15/16 children might go to high school in a different part of the country and live in student accommodation. My local vocational school owns a few flats that it rents out to those who live too far away to commute to school.

It says 16 year olds can be left alone depending on the maturity of the child. It is not recommended. I think all this overkill is due to lack or no rights of children in the past. Ireland’s record on advocating child welfare was shockingly bad and partially non existent until recently.

The idea of a 16 year old being a 'child' who can't look after themselves is just weird. Where is the OP actually from?