To think people in the UK are very lax generally about children being left alone?

[Toxicityofourcity]

Not from the UK. Some of the threads on here baffle me when it comes to leaving children alone. Children as young as 10 and 11 getting themselves home from the school, bus etc and letting themselves into an empty house. Being left for a few hours on their own. Have just read a thread about a 16yr old being left for 4 days... because she has to mind some cats?!? WTF? I just don't understand. This is not something that's done in my country at all. Is it a cultural thing? Do people not worry about house fires, accidents, abductions etc.? I just really don't understand it. But here on MN it seems totally acceptable?

Ireland 😳 my family are Irish and they have always been very independent from a young age.

You can't get married in England and Scotland hate children so that's nothing to aim for.

Wouldn't be allowed now due to the hazardous chemicals.

• at age 16

Eh?

I see exactly opposite, if anything.
And what's wrong with letting child alone to the house at the age of 11? At this age they surely are capable of knowing how to cross the street, use a key or make themselves cup of tea and toast? Jeez.

You say that like England didn’t change it from 16 just five minutes ago…

UK born and bred, while there are odd threads on mumsnet like yesterday with the woman letting her 4 year old wander the streets unsupervised that is batshit and fairly rare.

I lived in a rough council estate (shameless might as well have been about our street) and once I was babysitting a 3 year old and the kid escaped. He was promptly marched back by two different neighbors who spotted him out alone and caught him out of worry then brought him back. its absoloutly nothing to do with class like people claim (poor people love our kids too. Also with high unemployment level and bigger community/family values in the lower classes we are more likely to to have someone at home with them at all times).

I never knew any 4 year olds that wandered the streets alone, the only one I knew that did wander did so with her 2 much older sisters and lived in a rural area with virtually no roads.

So no I don't think its representative of British parents being lapsed with CHILDREN.

However your comment about 16 year olds baffles me though. I had left home by 16 as had half the people I know, I knew someone married at 16 (lots engaged) and people who had kids at 16... it is NOT a child.

If you can't be left for 4 days at age 16 then either your disabled to the point you need a carer (which is nothing to do with age) or your parents seriously failed you.

@Toxicityofourcity I can't believe you're genuine at your shock and horror of the thought of a 16 year old being home alone for 4 days. Really?! And I'm also from Ireland! 😂 I was allowed to be home alone from secondary school age - from I passed my driving test at a couple of months over 17 I was picking my younger siblings up from school when I was on study leave and my parents were working!

All my friends were the same, plus it's not even possible to get childcare for 11 year olds who aren't in primary school so there's also that!

What age is it acceptable to you for a child to be home alone for 2 hours. All the secondary kids in my neighbourhood have to walk to a bus stop 10 mins away, catch a public bus into town and then change to another bus direct to whatever school they're going to. From age 11 😮

Yeah my friend in this country was driving tractors from an early age…..and birthing lambs and cows etc. she’s the most resilient and assertive person I know and I’m sure a lot of it was growing up on a farm.

16 is legally a child and obviously can stay at home for the day /evening. It's too young for over night though. 17 is young enough to try for one night.

@Toxicityofourcity its a cultural thing. English parents tend to be less protective whereas Asians are overprotective.

@Toxicityofourcity

At 16 I had my own flat 100% responsible for everything that it entails, 41 & I'm still living here. My DD is 9 & can go to the shop/Park herself- both are 2min walk/visible from our house. She's been walking to & from school since last term as most of the primary 4 kids do. She is thriving on this small bit of independence & is fully aware of her responsibility for road/straingers/safety/time. Kids need to learn independence slowly & responsible with our help.

CPS? in Ireland? you'll have have a company for leasing construction machinery called on you?

You absolutely would not have Tulsa called on you for leaving a 16 year old alone for 4 days (well you might it a nutter reports you but the service will do absoloutly nothing because it is NOT illegal).

You can leave your kids home alone legally from 14 as long as they are mentally capable of looking after themselves in Ireland.

I didn't say it's a good thing, and yes they are! They were when I was 16, and they still are

In Spain you can't leave an under-18 home alone for any length of time by law. Whereas in the UK there is no specific law about this. So I think it is fairly relaxed in the UK. My parents left me at home alone for a week at 16 - wonderful!!

I agree with PP, if anything parents in the UK seem more cautious when it comes to kids’ independence.
In Germany, many kids walk to school by themselves starting at year one (6 year olds).

Personally I’m baffled that someone would think a 16yo isn’t perfectly capable of looking after themselves for 4 days or that an 11yo can’t make the short walk home.

Sp many parents are total suffocaters and won’t see the damage they are doing to their children in the name of ‘protection’

Lol! Keep telling yourself that #deluded.

That doesn't sound right. Can you link the law? I couldn't find it

Actually - not to derail the thread - but evidence suggests that "most" 16 year olds have not been having sex in the last few decades and that it is getting less common for children to be having sex at that age. Of course it still happens but it's not "most" and has moved from a sizeable minority to a smaller minority over the last 10-15 years.

Because when asked as part of a survey teenagers are definitely gonna be honest about their sex lives. I’d love to see the research on that anyway!

The UK is the opposite I find. Few primary school pupils walk alone to school here, even if the school is round the corner. Children are allowed little freedom to play outside without adults.

This is the opposite to my experience of mainland Europe. There children happily play outside, having free reign of the local area. It's delightful to see.

Japanese friends tell me children walk alone to school as soon as they start, around age 5/6 years. Have you seen 'Old enough ' on Netflix?

I think it's sad that children have so little freedom to play out nowadays, as they are usually just playing computer games or watching TV inside instead. That leads to obesity and reduced social skills, as well as addiction.

Where are you from? The examples given are fine by me but then I hated being smothered as a child. Mine enjoyed independence and a sense of responsibility.

It's absolutely not. I'm in Ireland's second largest city with an 11 year old, and what the OP describes doesn't in any way approximate his life (staying home alone for an hour or two, walking part of the way to school by himself -- I turn off part way to my workplace) or those of his friends, who are 11/12, and do walk home alone and let themselves into an empty house sometimes, while some classmates take public transport from other parts of the city to school.

16 year olds home alone for a long weekend completely uncontroversial.