To think people in the UK are very lax generally about children being left alone?

[Toxicityofourcity]

Not from the UK. Some of the threads on here baffle me when it comes to leaving children alone. Children as young as 10 and 11 getting themselves home from the school, bus etc and letting themselves into an empty house. Being left for a few hours on their own. Have just read a thread about a 16yr old being left for 4 days... because she has to mind some cats?!? WTF? I just don't understand. This is not something that's done in my country at all. Is it a cultural thing? Do people not worry about house fires, accidents, abductions etc.? I just really don't understand it. But here on MN it seems totally acceptable?

I take it women don’t work in your area? Who is facilitating childcare to the point of 18?! Do teenagers not do babysitting for pocket money?

I am aware the UK is actually restrictive compared to other European countries but I don’t think we are set up in the same way to allow for this. Things have changed a lot though, my grandparents never walked my mum to school, from the age of 4 she joined the local gang of kids and they all walked the 3 miles together. My dad tells stories of playing on actual bombsites in Glasgow in the 50s and going camping in the countryside for the weekends with a gang of neighbourhood kids and no adults. This blows my mind!

Mine are only little and the thought of leaving them alone terrifies me but I know I’ll need to get over it. I would rather have died than go on holiday with my family aged 16 and would have loved to stay at home by myself. In fact I did and it was bliss. I had an evening job and had to get taxis home at 15. Me and my friends had a week in Majorca after our GCSEs, one friend’s parents were that the same resort but we barely saw them and it was a fab holiday. How will they cope at University if it’s the first time they are alone?

‘Nah, I dont believe that no one at all ever in your country is left alone at 16 years old. ‘

OP is in Ireland therefore talking through her hole! It’s the same as here.

Back in the day, 16 and 17 year olds were running their own households, some even with children.

The dumbing down of the ages that has resulted in the state of young people today is not a good thing in my opinion.

Assuming what people tell you had left you confused - dh says one thing, Brits say another, Irish and Scots another, according to your post.

It's really not hard. UK is England, Scotland And Wales. GB is UK and NI. Ireland is a separate country so Irish not British. Scots, English and Welsh are British.

Ah OK, thanks.

I'd say the opposite if you judge by some of the batshit responses to "Should I leave my 15 year old in the house for an evening?" type threads on MN.

I think if anything we err on the side of over-protectiveness in the UK. And it's seriously misinformed if you think around the world kids are not doing lots of things - like working in factories sewing garments for large US corporations - at far too young an age. And Japan only just raised the age of consent from 13 to 16.

My 11 and 13 year olds go to town on their own with friends, ‘navigating’ public transport to do so. They walk the 1.5 miles to school. They both have keys and sometimes come home to an empty house. They take the dog out ( separately and together) with an adult.
They go to the shops for errands. They supervise younger kids.
The idea that they’re too young to do any of this completely normal stuff for their age is mad…

Dog without an adult that should be

I don’t not think that’s the issue here. It’s a typical Irish mammy who has no clue that other Irish mammies don’t think the same way she does. I had an Irish Garda threaten me with social services for my child flying alone. Because in his view (like the bus driver) it couldn’t be allowed, but it is. I got the train to Dublin at age 10 or 11 with my 5 year old sister to visit my grandparents in the summer. I had to navigate two buses then to get to her street. It wasn’t easy but it made me independent.

Many children heading to Irish and UK universities have a bas time because they’ve never been alone, can’t cook, have no clue about laundry, parents are doing their own children no favours.

The OP should also know that many UK families used to send their children back to Ireland, alone on the ferry, to be minded by granny in the summer holidays. It was very common.

There is zero difference between the UK and Ireland unless you are living in Ballygobackwards not realising what is the reality for many children.

I think OP meant to say 'this is not something done in my HOUSE at all' rather than 'in my country.' Thinking that everyone in Ireland keeps their children at home and supervised until they're 18.
Love how she thinks Ireland and the U.K. are so culturally different as well.

@Toxicityofourcity YABU. My DC used to thank me for trusting them when I started to leave them overnight as young adults.
my friend is a teacher in a rural part of Australia. She was asking her class to do an activity which involved them saying positive things about their partner. The kids were 8 -9 years old. One boy said of his partner “she’s a really good driver”. Friend (from the U.K.) was like “eh????”

turns out this little girl drove her and the boy (neighbouring farms) to the bus stop which was about 2 miles from the farmhouses. Private/dirt track type road but essentially the girl was driving an automatic car with literally blocks on the pedals! Like a big go cart. this was totally normal in their area.

so I guess the point is that people do things we wouldn’t necessarily do, to fit in with their situations and needs.

I am from a Mediterranean country and I was walking 2 kms to school age 7, on my own, then later with my much younger brother. At 11 I was taking 2 buses to school and looking after my brother when my parents were out.

I have friends who work all day and children finish school, walk home, make lunch and do their homework from.about 11 with no parents around until late afternoon (as many schools finish at noon).

In general I would say people are way more protective here than where I come from.

And I'm sorry, a 16 yr old being left for 4 days to mind some bloody cats is just irresponsible IMO.

I had a job and left home when I was 17. You’ll find people here who had babies when they were 16.

In the 90s 16yo mums got their own council house.

I’m from Northern Ireland and was “navigating” 2 trains and a bus through Belfast city center (during the days of Thursday bomb scares in Castle Court), with no mobile phone to update my parents where I was from 15.

My own kids regularly let themselves in after school and I’m home later. This is because I work. Something a fair few adults have to do. The idea that my teenage kids need adult supervision until I get home is laughable. Mind you it might mean more supervision of the snack cupboard so there’s a thought ……..

Absolute ageist crap. 16 and 17 year old today are extremely capable and sensible. I'm really fucking glad that most of them in the UK are not running households and are continuing education, training and enjoying their youth instead, as they bloody well should be.

Perhaps the OP could spend their time more productively donating to charities who help girls stay in education beyond the age of 11 in parts of Africa and Asia, instead of them being married off to old men.

I've lived in Dublin my whole life. I have three kids, 11,13 and 15. My 11 year old walks to and from school, its a 15 minute walk. My two girls did the same from age 11. My 13 and just turned 15 year old regularly get public transport together to go shopping in the city centre or to shopping centres. I live 3km from the city centre.

I don't recognise what you are talking about. It's definately just you because all my kids friends are the same with regards to using public transport and going to and from school.

‘It's really not hard. UK is England, Scotland And Wales. GB is UK and NI. Ireland is a separate country so Irish not British. Scots, English and Welsh are British.’

Not quite - the U.K. is made up of the 4 countries of England, Wales, Scotland AND N Ireland
Great Britain is England, Wales, Scotland only

People in Northern Ireland are British ( being part of the U.K.) but can also have Irish passports and dual nationality if they choose to.

The Republic of Ireland is a separate country, and not part of the British Isles despite Northern Ireland being part of the island of Ireland.

I'm from Ireland but live in Germany.Nothing of what you write seems in any way familiar to me from living in any western country and we also lived in the States when our kids were younger.

I have never driven my kids to school here in Germany .kids here all walk to school with their friends /siblings or later in high school take the bus , bike or underground

My kids could navigate the whole public transport from the age of 10/11 years and did so without any problems .They knew the timetables of the buses off by heart and travelled alone to and from their friends and to and from sport.

They both flew unaccompanied from age 14 either to Ireland to their grandparents but also to the US.

They most certainly were left alone to mind the cats at age 16 years and I only came home to a bit of a mess and an empty fridge.

They are now young adults and fully able to manage their own lives but do take advice from us on navigating the more complicated aspects of life but their everyday lives are their own responsibility.

‘Back in the day, 16 and 17 year olds were running their own households, some even with children.’

fuck me, were they? House prices really were cheap back in the day.

I'm sure I've read a few novels over the years set in Ireland, young people trying to escape the clutches of their over bearing families

You sound very judgmental. It’s healthy for kids to have increasingly independence, and not be sheltered. If they’re walking or taking public transport to school most likely they’d be with friends

I used to walk to and from school (about 20 minutes) from age 9.
I spent a week in the house on my own at 16.
It was a long time ago, and it was absolutely fine and completely normal. What shocks me now is how over-protective some people are about their children - kids need to learn to do things for themselves, they can't be wrapped up in cotton wool.

She didn’t say they owned those houses.

Op, you're shocked and appalled at the idea of a 16 year old being left alone gor a few nights, yet you then state you think 17 is about the right age?

Surely it depends on the child?

One 16 year old may be alot more sensible than another 17 year old. This is why there are no set rules on this. It's down to parental judgement (within reason).

That makes more sense, surely?