To think people in the UK are very lax generally about children being left alone?

[Toxicityofourcity]

Not from the UK. Some of the threads on here baffle me when it comes to leaving children alone. Children as young as 10 and 11 getting themselves home from the school, bus etc and letting themselves into an empty house. Being left for a few hours on their own. Have just read a thread about a 16yr old being left for 4 days... because she has to mind some cats?!? WTF? I just don't understand. This is not something that's done in my country at all. Is it a cultural thing? Do people not worry about house fires, accidents, abductions etc.? I just really don't understand it. But here on MN it seems totally acceptable?

Nah, I dont believe that no one at all ever in your country is left alone at 16 years old.
You must all be helicopter parents and wrap your children in cotton wool.

Do your children ever leave home, go live elsewhere?
Do you start letting them learn how to navigate public transport at 30? 35? 40?

"Well surely being present and responsibly for your children is part and parcel of having them? That's your responsibility as an adult to see them to and from school, and if you can't then you pay for childcare? "

Pay for childcare? For a 16 year old?

I think that the hardworking responsible parents of the U.K. who are desperately trying to keep their heads above water financially really don't need to be shamed by someone who thinks a teenager should have childcare.

Secondary school age is fine to be travelling home themselves. And be home alone for a bit. In some cities they will get a train etc you get than that.

Just because it's not your 'normal' doesn't make it wrong.

@Mongoosesorry I read through to see where you’re from, Ireland is pretty much the same as the UK in terms of childcare and leaving children on their own. I was shocked when I went to Latvia that my nieces were walking home from school at 8/9 and getting the bus on their own. Also being left in the school holidays at home from 9/10 years with 9/10 year olds looking after 6/7 year olds. But then with 3 month summer school holidays what do you do? But that being said the country is a million times safer than the UK and Ireland and honestly it’s something I wish my own children could grow up in such an environment. Unfortunately due to elderly parents I’m unable to move :(

My 16 year old is a qualified lifeguard in charge of other people’s safety. He’s going away with friends for a few days after GCSEs, and staying alone in Uni halls to do a course this summer. He’s been navigating public transport since he was 11. If a neurotypical almost-adult wasn’t capable of doing these things with a bit of adult input to contingency planning I’d think I’d done a poor job parenting him. I haven’t ever left him home alone for several nights but he’d be perfectly ok if I needed to. Are your children much younger, @Toxicityofourcity ? Maybe it’s difficult to imagine how much growing up happens during secondary years if you let it.

Navigate public transport?!

Do you mean get on a bus?

The OP was being very judgemental. Look at the thread's title: "lax" is not neutral, it means slack, slipshod, negligent. Also the faux-naif nature of the thread. The simplest of Internet searches would have shown them the rules for the UK and RoI so they could have STFU and not wasted everyone's time

Social services @Iknowthis1 🤣

I find the OP's take quite odd. As previous posters have pointed out, it is not uncommon to finish school at 17 and go to university, (in another city or sometimes abroad, as did I). So the thought that a 16-year old is too young / incapable to spend a few days at home alone is bizarre, even in Ireland. Having said that, there are obviously some dangers to being left home alone at such a tender age.

Sixteen too young to be left alone for a few days? That's one of the weirder things I've heard on MN. Sixteen year olds can go off and join the army lol. Heck, at thirteen I was off at music festivals for long weekends with friends. Honestly I find it super bizarre that you'd think a sixteen year old is somehow at risk if they're left alone for a few days.

You would crap yourself at what happens in some other countries where parents don't have the luxury of being around their many kids every hour of the day and from a young age kids are cared for by older siblings with minimal supervision cos the parents are out working.

When I was 11 a family move meant I spent a few months living with a family friend who worked shifts. It was my choice to do so, so that I could start secondary school in our new location. I often walked the 2 miles home, let myself in, walked the dog, cooked my dinner, did my homework and watched some telly until they came home at 9.30pm.

I genuinely consider it one of the most useful times of my life: I loved the independence of it and it gave me great skills to be able to take care of myself later on.

I wouldn't change it for the world.

Not rtft but I think we tend to be over restrictive here and I'd like to have given my children more of a continental European experience where they had more freedom.
Fwiw, my children would come home on their own from year 6 and be on their own for an hour or two. My younger DC would stay on his own for 30-45 minutes from age 9 (entirely his choice) if I was taking his sibling somewhere. Sibling didn't want to stay alone until about 11.
We started going out in the evening and leaving them both together when the youngest was 11. We left them overnight for the first time when they were 15 and 16. They have been navigating public transport since year 7 so age 11; the first time they went to London alone on the train was at 13. They are very confident independent sensible young adults now who roll their eyes at friends who have been babied for so long that they can't work out how to travel on multiple forms of transport or sort out semi-emergencies on their own.

That's not that clear actually, I'll assume what people tell me then. Thanks, so helpful 🤣

Until a few years ago people could get married at sixteen. At seventeen, my aunt was married, working and expecting a baby! Of course sixteen year olds are capable of a few days on their own!

I didn’t realise you are Irish as am I. In all the major towns and cities children are commuting, especially for the secondary schools. So Dublin, Cork, Limerick, Waterford, Sligo. This can involve changing buses, or trams in Dublin. It also can involve trains, say the Cork to Middleton route, or the Waterford to Clonmel. If you go to the stations as school closing you will see hundreds of children, particularly on Fridays.

There are many latch key children as well, those that can walk home and leave themselves in because their mother is working. But because of judgement, and to protect the children the mothers don’t talk about it, neighbours will notice and look out for them. It’s not everybody has the option of being a stay at home mother, or can pay for childcare. In any case an 11 year old can mind themselves for a couple of hours after school. It is no different to the UK.

You're being utterly ridiculous if you think your view that it is "irresponsible" to leave an 11 year old alone for 1 hour is the common view in Ireland!

She's certainly a wind-up merchant. I've reported her thread as fake.

This is about the 3rd post on as many days I have read criticising the people of the UK. Substitute "UK" for any other culture/nation and their would be howls of racism . Why is it only deemed acceptable to pick the British, specifically English?

Surely it depends how and why the child is left alone. And how well they are prepared for it.
7 year old left alone while parent/s in the pub every night coming home drunk — unacceptable.
11 year old left alone to care for 3 younger siblings and cook meals — unacceptable.

Building up the time from 10 minutes, ensuring the child knows what is safe and what isn’t, teaching them what the sounds of smoke alarm and CO2 alarm mean etc… is preparing them for life. With mobile phones it’s easy to check in with each other.

My dc babysat for other families when she was 12. But she was like 12 going on 32.

The OP has left the thread, though I too think they are a baity fake.

When I was nearly 15 my parents would leave me home alone most weekends. I had been walking home from school since I was 9. Walking into the local town with my friends since 7 which was a mile away. Then at 16/17 I would be home alone for up to 2 weeks over Xmas and new year and in summer when they went on holiday. Never burnt the house down (although some idiots did set the building attached on fire) and only had 1 accident at 16 when I fell down the stairs and my dad had to come home to take me to hospital. Had a lovely routine on the weekends when they were regularly away and it gave me great independence, although I did have a long list of chores to do 🤣

OP I’ve lived in Ireland and have family there and in my experience people are far more relaxed about parenting and children have a reasonable level of independence compared to the UK.

In comparison scandic, German, French etc kids are far more independent.

If you find UK parenting too relaxed then I suggest that your own view is the one that is out of step and maybe a little too protective. It’s easy to get neurotic about kids though

@Clementineorsatsuma exactly! This was one of the crazier bits of this whole crazy thread! It’s not like you’re captaining a schooner round Cape Horn, it’s a bloody bus! 🤣

I was taking (sorry, ‘navigating’) public transport to my school from age 11 and had been walking alone to primary from 7 or 8. Kids did the same from age 10 in a safe European city. No problems!

If you’re not from the uk and don’t have any experience of life in the uk then you’re incredibly small minded to cast judgements.

Anyway, have a good day all, done with this thread now.

Generally the last word of an OP who has been proved comprehensively wrong

😂😂😂