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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't think this is a compliment.

92 replies

Posypetals · 18/06/2023 21:46

My partner and I have been together 27 years. Few ups and downs as with any relationship.
Anyway, today he went rock climbing and I asked him to pick me up a new climbing harness
No problem says he.
He came home later thos afternoon with said harness and I tried it on, fit perfectly.
I asked him how he managed to get the right size. (He's no good with sizes)
He said the woman there had asked him what my body shape was, he said, she's slim with child bearing hips!!! (We have 3 grown up children)
I am a tad miffed that that was the way he described my body shape. AIBU???
I was like, thanks.... not.
He seems to think he was kind amd that he was been nice.

OP posts:
GottaGirlcrush · 18/06/2023 21:48

Was he right?

I wouldn't be offended by that

AliceOlive · 18/06/2023 21:49

How obviously like the way you are shaped. So yes, it’s a compliment!

Whenwillitallmakesense · 18/06/2023 21:51

And in 27 years he's never mentioned your bodyshape before? Why are you offended? He didn't say he hates your shape or was repulsed by your body. Anyway, wouldn't you have just told him what size to pick up? Or wouldn't he have known anyway, your dress size, height etc.

AllOfThemWitches · 18/06/2023 21:53

I'd be happy with that

GardenGnomic · 18/06/2023 21:54

My DH also thinks this is a compliment - he likes my curvy hips and says that bit frequently. I'm not slim though.

Lifescary · 18/06/2023 21:54

Are you slim? Do you have child-bearing hips?

Your harness fits. I hope you remembered to say thanks.

watcherintherye · 18/06/2023 21:56

Well, he came back with the right size, so it must have been an accurate description!

continentallentil · 18/06/2023 21:56

How is that rude?

I mean I understand you might rather be an hourglass / a waif / boyishly muscular but if he’d bought a harness for such a body it would be digging into your fanjo or similar.

Anyway nothing wrong with being a pear, be a proud pear. I am sure he is proud of you.

PoseyFlump · 18/06/2023 21:57

If the cap fits 😂

That sales assistant was shit hot on sizing.

LookingOldTheseDays · 18/06/2023 21:58

This is a "new climbing harness", which means you've had one before? So you must be a regular climber?

I don't know any climbers at all who would send their partner off to buy a harness without already having a preferred make/model and knowing their size. This is in the same ballpark as sending your partner off to buy running shoes for you. (Which no runner would do)

In the event this is true - the size of your hips is irrelevant to the fit of a harness. Which you'll of course know, being a climber. The only measurement that matters is your waist as the leg loops are adjustable and the waist can be slackened off (or undone entirely) o go past your hips.

SeeingSpots · 18/06/2023 21:58

I don't see how that's rude at all. It's a reasonable description of your actual shape (given he got the right size). I get you might wish he'd worded it differently by using a word like hourglass or pear but his description was clear and accurate and completely befitting the situation.

LookingOldTheseDays · 18/06/2023 21:59

continentallentil · 18/06/2023 21:56

How is that rude?

I mean I understand you might rather be an hourglass / a waif / boyishly muscular but if he’d bought a harness for such a body it would be digging into your fanjo or similar.

Anyway nothing wrong with being a pear, be a proud pear. I am sure he is proud of you.

No harness would dig into someone's fanjo! They aren't structured like that.

GwenTenPenny · 18/06/2023 21:59

He means you’re both slim and shapely.

What a bastard.

Dacadactyl · 18/06/2023 22:00

YABU.

LookingOldTheseDays · 18/06/2023 22:01

For those who don't know, climbing harness come in very few sizes! It is not a sign that the sales lady was "shit hot at sizing" that she chose one that fit.

A slim waisted woman will take a S/M. A larger woman will take a M/L. There are no other sizes in any model of climbing harness I've ever worn.

DrManhattan · 18/06/2023 22:01

I thought he'd called you a cnut or something

RosieCockle · 18/06/2023 22:02

🙄

LookingOldTheseDays · 18/06/2023 22:02

It's got bells on

hattyhathat · 18/06/2023 22:02

Next time just get your own or tell him what size you want

Aquamarine1029 · 18/06/2023 22:03

Well, you are slim, you do have womanly hips, and lo and behold, you've had children, therefore your hips are child-bearing. You're upset with him because he's 100% factual?

Fucking hell. Have a word with yourself.

Avondale89 · 18/06/2023 22:04

Doubt this ever happened. Not sure why hip size is relevant to a climbing harness size, as they sit on the waist. Also, if you needed a new one surely he would have taken the old one as a size reference. And sending someone to buy you a climbing harness is a ridiculous thing to do in the first place.

LookingOldTheseDays · 18/06/2023 22:05

Avondale89 · 18/06/2023 22:04

Doubt this ever happened. Not sure why hip size is relevant to a climbing harness size, as they sit on the waist. Also, if you needed a new one surely he would have taken the old one as a size reference. And sending someone to buy you a climbing harness is a ridiculous thing to do in the first place.

Thank you! It's such obvious bullshit

SeeingSpots · 18/06/2023 22:05

LookingOldTheseDays · 18/06/2023 22:01

For those who don't know, climbing harness come in very few sizes! It is not a sign that the sales lady was "shit hot at sizing" that she chose one that fit.

A slim waisted woman will take a S/M. A larger woman will take a M/L. There are no other sizes in any model of climbing harness I've ever worn.

With this information I'm even more confused as to why the OP was annoyed or why she even asked him how he had got the right size. If it's as simple as small, medium or large I'd wager most people would have been able to look at the OP, go to the shop and get the right size no help or descriptions needed.

TheGoogleMum · 18/06/2023 22:07

I don't think child bearing hips is an insult, many men enjoy the curve of wider hips

LookingOldTheseDays · 18/06/2023 22:07

SeeingSpots · 18/06/2023 22:05

With this information I'm even more confused as to why the OP was annoyed or why she even asked him how he had got the right size. If it's as simple as small, medium or large I'd wager most people would have been able to look at the OP, go to the shop and get the right size no help or descriptions needed.

Show quote history

They don't even divide into S, M & L. There are 2 sizes, and that's your lot.

The waist belt is what matters, and it's massively adjustable. So a S/M might fit waists from 22" up to 30" (guesstimate numbers, but you get the idea).

Imagine someone being surprised that a belt, an actual belt, "fit them perfectly". That's how sensible this post is.