I don't think this is a compliment.

[Posypetals]

My partner and I have been together 27 years. Few ups and downs as with any relationship.
Anyway, today he went rock climbing and I asked him to pick me up a new climbing harness
No problem says he.
He came home later thos afternoon with said harness and I tried it on, fit perfectly.
I asked him how he managed to get the right size. (He's no good with sizes)
He said the woman there had asked him what my body shape was, he said, she's slim with child bearing hips!!! (We have 3 grown up children)
I am a tad miffed that that was the way he described my body shape. AIBU???
I was like, thanks.... not.
He seems to think he was kind amd that he was been nice.

That’s totally mad. Is it even comfortable? How did he know what brand and type you’d want if you didn’t give him basic information? Also, unless you are quite tall you are unlikely to be a M/L for rock climbing, it’s not rocket science.
I would never let anyone choose my climbing kit for me! What a strange thing to do in the first place

I don't know how you managed to get through 27 years together if this comment threw you off. YABU.

The variables in harnesses aren't really to do with size. How many gear loops does it have, do they sit in a position you can access comfortably? Do the leg loops sit comfortably on you? Can you get the harness on over your winter climbing trousers? How easy is it to pee with it on?

All a million times more important than the size.

Does the harness fit? Was the description meant to be a compliment (asked based on thread title)?

PS I’m not too thrilled with my wide hips so get why you might be feeling hurt but honestly, let this one slide.

I'd be well happy with that!

Childbearing hips is not a compliment

I'm a size 8-10 and the midwife told me after my 3rd child was born (he was born sunny side up) that the only reason I don't need a c section was because of my "roomy pelvis" aka child bearing hips. I wasn't offended in the slightest and now often make a joke of them!

I know. It was just a flippant way of pointing out that him knowing her body size means it fits.

I wasn't sure if maybe you were an old-schooler who was stubbornly clinging on to their ancient (1970s) Whillans harness. Those could do some damage to the genitals! (Worse for men though...)

I wouldn't be upset, he clearly lives your shape after 27 years and as you said it fit perfectly so he wasn't wrong.

Of course it is, it means you're womanly!

If a Daily Mail journo wanted to start a debate about whether "child bearing hips" was a compliment, but didn't want to make it totally obvious, they might gamble that the residents of mumsnet couldn't possibly know anything about climbing...

Hourglass figure is a compliment.

According to the midwife my DD had a lovely shaped head and I didn't need a single stitch. I treasured that compliment when looking at my yellow, scrunched up new born. Look at your kids and be proud. And wait till the menopause gifts you a spare tyre, you'll think back to 'slim' fondly.

Why would you send someone else to buy you a climbing harness?

I get the sense you wouldn’t have been happy with any answer.

he didn’t say ‘she’s got one of those mum tums and saddlebags’ did he?

your own insecurities made you question how he described you. No one else is paying attention - he got you the right fit. Be happy with that and get on with life

@Posypetals
His description resulted in your getting a properly fitting harness. Was that not the goal of the activity?

You might be saying " thank you" rather than questioning the wording that he used to accomplish the task.

If I was the shop assistant, I would take that as slim.but with curves or shape as opposed to straight up & down.

I don't see the insult. He also got the right size.

Why are you really pissed off with him because it cannot really be about this?

Actually on reflection whilst I think it is complimentary, it was a crass way of saying it.

I wish that was the description of my body! just had my second c section a month ago. Accurate description would be ‘looks like a rotund slightly melted candle’.

Seems like you’re looking for a fight @Posypetals

@LookingOldTheseDays I was thinking the same things.

Also, as it's safety gear, you wouldn't necessarily be able to return it to the store if it was the wrong size...

They can come in multiple sizes. I’m a female climber.

I have this harness :

https://bananafingers.co.uk/black-diamond-momentum-harness?countryCode=GB&currency=GBP&gclid=Cj0KCQjw1rqkBhCTARIsAAHz7K11C4bfuRYL0yE09ve_rutB6bpred9VJ2271FMuFirOtNaHBLSzzgsaAu_hEALw_wcB

it comes in XS-XL. The reason I know is I used to wear an XS and my boyfriend bought me the same size and I had to swap it for a S.

Good point. Retailers don't usually accept returns of climbing harnesses bought in store (for obvious reasons, they can resell it if they don't know how it has been stored for 100% of the time preceding sale). Which would make it an even worse idea to buy a harness without knowing that it was the exact make/model/size you wanted.

Yet more reasons why this blatantly did not happen.

I kind of see where you are coming from because growing up I was very much criticised from all angle for having child bearing hips. The lower half of my body was the bane of my life. have a waist 10 inches smaller than my hips. It was not the shape to have in the 90’s when ultra slender was in and low waist jeans were the thing.

however now it’s complimentary to have bootay and be thicc and all that absolute crap. Women want it. So I see why you feel like you do about the description.

I'm guessing he bought it online (not in store), so as to get the option of returning? And I'm guessing he also knew your existing make/model/size and based the purchase on that info?

Would you send him to a shop to "buy a harness" for you?