18 ur old and rent

[Freshstarts23]

I know there’s a similar thread going but my situation is quite different.

My dd is 18 in a few months. Left school after GCSE’s, no college or uni. Went straight into full time work. She works very hard and earns decent money for her age. Usually clears about £1800 now, and has been in the £1400 region since 16. Doesn’t have anything to pay out.

She doesn’t spend a great deal of time at home, mainly due to working so much (more than 40 hours usually) and different shifts. When not at work, she sees friends. She sleeps at home on average 5/6 nights a week. This used to be a lot less. She obviously showers and everything here but doesn’t eat here often. She eats at work or sorts herself out.

I haven’t really provided much for her since she left school as she’s always had a decent sum of money to but her own clothes etc. she also smokes weed which I obviously didn’t want to fund.

Anyway, now she’s soon to be turning 18 I think it’s fair she starts contributing. I’m a single parent with another child, I work. Moneys tight but I manage fine.

She also hasn’t saved anything which is a shame. I’d like to ask her from some money every month and save some secretly for her too but I don’t know how much is reasonable to ask for. She’s spoke about wanting to move out but we live in a high cost area so it’ll be virtually impossible for her.

I wouldn’t charge rent unless you have to due to cost of living. I would sit her down and get her to start saving. Have you taught her about how to save, invest and so on? She should be doing a LISA at the very least.

IMO if she's clearing £1600 she needs to give you at least £400. If she had her own place it would could her at least three times that to live. If you want to save a bit for her I'd say £600

our rule is soon as working full time and 1/3 of the take home. -

I would have mandated 30% of earnings saved as soon as she left education. If you need her to contribute financially, I would charge 30%, but only keep the amount that is necessary. The rest should go into savings. I don’t think you need to be coy about it. She needs to learn to save and it needs to be a discussion. You aren’t doing her any favors letting her get used to having that kind of spending money with no real expenses as life doesn’t work that way.

I know this might be seen as controlling but I would ask for a contribution towards costs and save as much as you can for her. Yes she’s an adult etc, but young people sometimes don’t save anything-if she can’t save living at home when can she save? I charge my dc £300 and save all but £75 for her contribution towards food. I think they know I’m doing it but they see it as just a bill they have to pay. Get them to see saving as just another bill to pay like their phone etc and they may find it easier. But a young adult earning 1800 and just blowing the lot would really annoy me-especially if I were going short to fund their spending.

She earns more than some adults I know supporting a family.

Of course she needs to pay her way. Having less for weed will also be helpful!

Don’t save money for her secretly , she’s an adult treat her like an adult . If you want her to save tell her what you expect and that that is a condition of her living at home rent free so you want proof . If she fails to stick to her end of the bargain then start charging her rent ( and not saving it for her )

Absolutely charge her rent / board, I would say 200 ish .

I agree with this. It shouldn’t be charge rent and then secretly save it. She needs to learn to save and have the self control to do it herself.

I think 200-250 is fair

My DD earns much the same, I charge her £500/month, and I don't save it for her, because I'm not a charity, i have bills to pay.

I have tried, she won’t. I can’t judge, I have no savings myself. I can manage without charging her, as I have done up until now. But it would be really helpful.

I was thinking of asking for roughly £200. My council tax will go up when I lose the 25% single person discount, and then the rest would go towards gas and electric.
I also lost £400 in cb and uc when she left education at 16 which I had to adjust to.

I think if I asked her for much more than £200 she would say she’s not here enough to justify that.

If I asked for £400 and told her I was saving half for her she would just not give it to me. I don’t think she would see it as essential.

I’ve tried explaining to her that most adults don’t have £1800 disposable income. I certainly do not. I’m lucky to have a few hundred left after bills and groceries so she really should and could be saving a decent amount, thinking about house deposits ect. Something I never done and regret.

£200 is more than reasonable
of course you will have to pay more council tax so just explain this, and presumably you lose child benefit too?

I’d also make it clear that she def can’t assume she can stay with you indefinitely. And that saving just a couple of hundred pounds a month would be a really good idea for when she wants to move out.

I would charge board.

Purely on the basis that if she gets used to earning and spending ££££ disposable income per month, she will never leave home.

Imagine contemplating going from £1800 and £0 responsibilities at home to £1800 minus £1000 on rent and bills. It's a no brainer, she will stay dependent.

1/3 board 1/3 save 1/3 spend is how we dealt with ours, eldest three moved out with a reasonable amount of savings and a good sense of money. Our current 18 does the same.

I lost child benefit when she turned 16. Also a significant amount of universal credit.

she definitely wants to move out, but the best she can hope for round here is a house share.

she should have two choices, pay her way at home and have the opportunity to save or move into a house share. She may be 18, but you are still the parent, it is your house and you set the rules. If she doesn’t want to pay her way and save up for a future home, she can live elsewhere.

1/3 (£600 to you) 1/3 (£600 for savings - she could have this as deposit!) and 1/3 (£600 for spends!) is the best way (and I wish someone would have done this for me!) £200 is not enough by any stretch.. especially if she spends money on weed 😬 Hopefully, she could give it to you for you to save for her. Xxx

I would most definitely charge her rent. I paid rent from when I was 18-21 at which point I moved out. At the time I found it unfair as many of my friends paid little or nothing and also had no cleaning or cooking duties. But when I moved out I was really well prepared, both practically and knew how to budget. My Mum bought me a few things for my first rental property and explained that she wanted to treat me in return for all the rent I'd paid. I paid £150 but this was twenty years ago, it worked out at maybe 15% of my salary.
This is your chance to teach her an important life skill - budgeting. She might not like it to begin with but down the line will probably thank you.

Exactly.

Who does she think she is? You're not obliged to put up with her treating your house as a hotel and using you to fund her weed habit. £400 at least or she can move out to whatever she can find.

She should be paying, as a minimum, £60 pw. If she feels this is too high she can rent a room elsewhere, which will cost her much more. Even if you decide to save half her rent for her, to gift her when she moves out, she should still be paying. You are not doing her any favours by allowing her to squander £1400+ each month.

Jesus-some very high rents here to live at home- they’re equivalent to where I live!!!!! You say she’s not home much, so basically it’s just for use of a bed- I don’t know, it sounds a bit crazy to me to charge a lot, would you not just have a talk with her regarding saving and have her add to eg electricity bill with a tiny amount of rent? If I were her I’d move out if the request were too high as opposed to living in a house where I was paying equivalent to sharing with people my own age.

I'd charge her £50 a week as you will have to pay 100 percent council tax and I'd explain this to her and the rest could contribute towards electricity.