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Original poster

How old were you when you had your last baby.

320 replies

summerfinn · 18/06/2023 08:45

I was 22 having my first and will be 37 having my last. Just wanted to see is 37 a common age for having your last baby. I never dreamt I'd be pregnant at 37 . I always thought that it was a bit old. Now I'm scared that I'm just being selfish and could have a baby with lots of issues.

OP posts:
whoruntheworldgirls · 18/06/2023 09:53

If i decide on another I'll be 38

StepAwayFromGoogling · 18/06/2023 09:56

41

Trinity65 · 18/06/2023 09:57

39

Tamuchly · 18/06/2023 09:59

#1 at 21

#5 at 40

merderforlife · 18/06/2023 10:00

TheSnootiestFox · 18/06/2023 08:59

I was 37. I personally think having a baby at 22 is more selfish as how on earth would you have a degree, a decent career going, bought a property and had a couple of years just being a married couple by that age? All of which I'd done by 35 when I had my first. Oh and they're both sensational kids!

I was 22 when I had my 2nd and owned my own home, had a decent job & was married.

cloudjumper · 18/06/2023 10:01

43

londonrach · 18/06/2023 10:02

Tbh mid 30s the most common age for a first. I had DD my only at 41 and I'm not the oldest ..

Noshowlomo · 18/06/2023 10:03

38

Fireandflames666 · 18/06/2023 10:03

29, I'm now 37 and definitely don't want any more.

Tulip2478 · 18/06/2023 10:05

Pregnant with my third and definitely last at 32. Due in 2 weeks.

Dulra · 18/06/2023 10:05

#1 31
#2 34
#3 36

Whereisthesummer · 18/06/2023 10:05

Due in September I’ll be 39
2nd and last baby x

TheSnootiestFox · 18/06/2023 10:10

Gerrataere · 18/06/2023 09:49

Can I ask, are you a Gen Xer? Because anyone who isn’t late millennial or older knows that thinking a degree is the be all isn’t the case these days. Especially going at 18/19 to do whatever old course so you have your name on a paper after 3 years. It’s certainly not a mark of intelligence level nor how academic your children will be. And I’m not denying the importance of learning but there is so much more to it these days than school/college/university. In fact, unless you’re being very specific in your university choices, I’d say those who follow this very set path will find themselves at a hindrance in the future.

Show quote history

I am indeed! And with a much older father than the norm. It was the expected thing in my day to get married before having kids and to study before that. At least for 'naice' middle class girls! I was told by my school that I needed a degree and it didn't matter what that degree was along as it was 2:1 or above, and I was literally sat down and told by both parents that they expected me to wait until I was married to have sex so if I'd had a baby without being established and married I would have been a major disappointment to everyone!

Thriwit · 18/06/2023 10:11

Had my last at 27. (First at 24 - & I had a degree/career, had bought a house, & was married 🙄). It was an odd age to have kids at, all the other new mothers I encountered were either younger than me (18-20), or older (mid-30s +).

In my mid-30s and post-hysterectomy now, so definitely no more for me.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 18/06/2023 10:13

DC1 I was 35.

DC2 (last one) I was 39

Dontcareforthehaters · 18/06/2023 10:15

I had my 1st at 41 and my 2nd is due 8 weeks before my 45th birthday.
Having babies later in life has worked really well for my husband and I. We've been married for nearly 20 years but we did so many other things with our lives before having babies. There are pros and cons to this, of course.

Gerrataere · 18/06/2023 10:16

@TheSnootiestFox with all due respect, your way of thinking is completely out of touch these days. I was also raised to believe that you must go to university as soon as possible to get anywhere in life and honestly my generation have been completely screwed over by this way of thinking. It’s simply not the way the world works anymore and to push the same ideals on your children causes nothing but stress and disappointment. Yes it does work for a few, having this very narrow path of ‘acceptable route of life’, but in the majority it just leads to misery and quite frankly boring, unyielding personality types.

Crunchymum · 18/06/2023 10:16

I was 32, 34 and 37 with my three DC.

I'm mid 40's now. Definitely no more children for me.

doorlily · 18/06/2023 10:17

Gerrataere · 18/06/2023 10:16

@TheSnootiestFox with all due respect, your way of thinking is completely out of touch these days. I was also raised to believe that you must go to university as soon as possible to get anywhere in life and honestly my generation have been completely screwed over by this way of thinking. It’s simply not the way the world works anymore and to push the same ideals on your children causes nothing but stress and disappointment. Yes it does work for a few, having this very narrow path of ‘acceptable route of life’, but in the majority it just leads to misery and quite frankly boring, unyielding personality types.

Excellent way of putting it.

Crunchymum · 18/06/2023 10:22

TheSnootiestFox · 18/06/2023 08:59

I was 37. I personally think having a baby at 22 is more selfish as how on earth would you have a degree, a decent career going, bought a property and had a couple of years just being a married couple by that age? All of which I'd done by 35 when I had my first. Oh and they're both sensational kids!

Fucking hell. Could you be more goady?

What about mothers who have had babies in their late 30's who don't have a mortgage or aren't married? Or those nit educated to degree level? You do know that not everyone follows you rigid and prescribed trajectory of life?

TheSnootiestFox · 18/06/2023 10:22

Gerrataere · 18/06/2023 10:16

@TheSnootiestFox with all due respect, your way of thinking is completely out of touch these days. I was also raised to believe that you must go to university as soon as possible to get anywhere in life and honestly my generation have been completely screwed over by this way of thinking. It’s simply not the way the world works anymore and to push the same ideals on your children causes nothing but stress and disappointment. Yes it does work for a few, having this very narrow path of ‘acceptable route of life’, but in the majority it just leads to misery and quite frankly boring, unyielding personality types.

Where have I said that I'm pushing that onto my own children? One is heading for the Household Cavalry at 18, and the other is deciding between an IT technician or something agri-business related but if he goes to Uni I'll be amazed! What I am pushing on them is the need to live a bit and be established home and relationship wise before becoming a father. Mine had had a much different life to the one they would have had if the 22 year old me had brought them up.

Okaaaay · 18/06/2023 10:22

36 completely normal amongst my friends and work colleagues to have babies in early 40s

Greengreengrass231 · 18/06/2023 10:25

Leah2730 · 18/06/2023 08:56

I had my first at 36, and he's healthy. There are lots of women who have babies in late 30's into 40's. The mums at the school gate are all around my age. If you are healthy and you do everything you can to have a healthy pregnancy try not to worry. I wish I could have had babies earlier but we had fertility issues. You are not being selfish, enjoy your pregnancy x

As a pregnant 40 year old woman I like this prospective

Peppadog · 18/06/2023 10:28

TheSnootiestFox · 18/06/2023 10:22

Where have I said that I'm pushing that onto my own children? One is heading for the Household Cavalry at 18, and the other is deciding between an IT technician or something agri-business related but if he goes to Uni I'll be amazed! What I am pushing on them is the need to live a bit and be established home and relationship wise before becoming a father. Mine had had a much different life to the one they would have had if the 22 year old me had brought them up.

Show quote history

I think your error was calling young parents selfish. You've just called thousands of readers selfish for having their children when they did, and simultaneously offended the older parents who didn't achieve those things you listed.
Perfectly fine to see the benefits in having children later, but bonkers to call younger parents selfish. Being an older parent comes with drawbacks too, less likely to be a young healthy helpful grandparent, won't live as long etc. There is no 'perfect' time to have kids.

Buddythecat1 · 18/06/2023 10:29

27