I’m a married mum with a young DS. I recently got a promotion at work, which DH and I were delighted and relieved about as we’re about to renew our mortgage and were extremely worried about the interest rate rises. My promotion will give us a good amount of extra financial cushioning which means we won’t need to sell our house (as we really feared we might have to) and can afford the increased payments for a good while yet.
But… (there’s always a but!) the issue is that because I’ve had this promotion, I’m having to spend quite a bit more time at work, doing meetings and just generally being more present on site. My workload has also increased.
As a result of my increased earnings and time commitment, DH and I agreed he could give up his current job, which he has said for years he doesn’t enjoy at all, and become a SAHD (which he’s always said he would love to do) whilst pursuing a passion project of his and trying to make a business out of it.
Anyway, two weeks into my new job and I got home tonight after a stressful day. DH was in a grumpy mood and complaining he was exhausted after a day of looking after DS and needed a break.
I totally get we need to share the childcare responsibilities, but I feel like I’ve had no break at all today - I got up with the toddler, changed and got him ready and did his breakfast. Then I left for work, spent all day at the office in a stressful role (though I did at least get a half hour lunch break!) then as soon as I’m home, it’s my responsibility to take DS again.
OTOH, I’m fully aware of how draining it is to have sole responsibility for a child all day. But I feel like DH got to switch off when I got home, whereas I had to commute, then work all day in a high pressure job, before getting straight back home and spending several hours playing with DS before putting him to bed whilst DH relaxed. Where is my free time?
Am I in the wrong?