Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask to use the school loo at pick up?

101 replies

cttontail · 16/06/2023 23:44

I've been told that I can't use the loo at the school at pick up (which I've done a few times before).

Background - younger sibling and I walk to school (about 15-20 minutes, often takes longer to walk home) to get their sibling. I have continence issues arising from birth complications. Sometimes I just need to sort myself out. Younger sibling also sometimes has accidents (#2) and obviously best to clean them up ASAP.

AIBU? I know they're not public conveniences. So should I just get better pads/pants and ensure that I have plenty of time to take it slowly and hold it in? Young child's accidents due to digestive issues, not lack of training. Is it unreasonable to ask to use the loos at school? There are no public conveniences nearby.

OP posts:
PimpMyFridge · 16/06/2023 23:45

Our school wouldn't mind that. I've done it a few times. Likely especially if you explained the situation they would be inclined to be sympathetic?

Maray1967 · 16/06/2023 23:46

You could ask to use the staff loos but you definitely can’t use the pupils’ loos - safeguarding. That was made clear when I parent helped years ago.

GottaGirlcrush · 16/06/2023 23:47

Yabu

How can they allow random adults to roam the school?

Because you know it will set a precedence and everyone will ask to use them

AmbleInAnnBoleyn · 16/06/2023 23:48

I am pretty sure they would need a receptionist to sign you in, escort you to the loo, wait outside, escort you back out, sign you out. There would need to be a second person to be manning the phone and door in the receptionist's abscence. Have they staff to accommodate this? I think you are not unreasonable to ask, they are not unreasonable to decline.

SleepingStandingUp · 16/06/2023 23:50

GottaGirlcrush · 16/06/2023 23:47

Yabu

How can they allow random adults to roam the school?

Because you know it will set a precedence and everyone will ask to use them

Our school has a reception area that has two loos - staff and other. The only way into the school from that reception is through one or two locked doors which are openable only from behind a secured desk. You couldn't ask to use the loo and break into the school. Surely lots of schools lie like that?

NineOfNine · 16/06/2023 23:52

I guess a lot depends on where exactly the toilets are.

At my DCs current primary school, all the toilets, including staff toilets, are inside the main school building, next to classrooms etc, so safeguarding rules mean you’d need to be escorted by a staff member. So it’s understandable that the school wouldn’t generally let parents use those.

If there were toilets in areas not accessible by pupils I guess it’d be less of a potential safeguarding issue?

Comedycook · 16/06/2023 23:53

No my dcs school wouldn't have allowed this. Its a safe guarding risk. Your reasons are genuine but they can't allow random adults to use the loos for obvious reasons

BreviloquentBastard · 16/06/2023 23:56

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

SleepingStandingUp · 16/06/2023 23:56

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

I've read that thread, but this isn't it 😁

BreviloquentBastard · 16/06/2023 23:56

Oh I'm a peat, wrong thread sorry! Have asked MN to remove

TomatoSandwiches · 16/06/2023 23:59

Our school has a disabled access toilet just off the reception which I have used a few times, I wouldn't expect to use the children's loo's though.
If you explain the situation then I'm sure they would at least let you use staff toilets otherwise they're simply being inhumane imo.

Jesscococolake · 17/06/2023 00:15

Teacher here. No way should adults use children’s toilets , safe guarding ! Children will likely be in school attending clubs or after school .
Unless there is a visitor toilet in the reception you could use - you should not be able to come into the school to use a toilet be it staff or pupil.
You wouldn’t go into a bakery and ask to use their personal toilet to clean a child up or because you were desperate.

Sorrry but it’s inappropriate .

Stompythedinosaur · 17/06/2023 00:34

I think you are expecting a bit much.

I think you should be ok to walk there and back with the right continence pads, are you under a continence clinic, because a continence nurse would be able to advise about that if your current pads aren't lasting that long.

olympicsrock · 17/06/2023 00:39

Not unreasonable to ask and explain your special need . Hopefully these is a visitor toilet.
If sibling is having that many accidents perhaps carry a travel potty?

Badbudgeter · 17/06/2023 00:43

This would be allowed at our school. There is an accessible loo just as you go in before you get to reception with a baby change etc, it’s only used by a couple of children who are escorted to the loo by a ta and playground staff.

WhamBamThankU · 17/06/2023 00:52

As PP said it depends where the toilets are, and also if other parents see you going in regularly then they might start to ask too and where does it end?

Remotecontrolatmyside · 17/06/2023 05:44

SleepingStandingUp · 16/06/2023 23:50

Our school has a reception area that has two loos - staff and other. The only way into the school from that reception is through one or two locked doors which are openable only from behind a secured desk. You couldn't ask to use the loo and break into the school. Surely lots of schools lie like that?

Show quote history

And lots aren't like that. School layouts differ.

Emanresu9 · 17/06/2023 05:48

Our school lets us use the loo! How petty not to.

Popsicle42 · 17/06/2023 07:07

What do you do when you’re out and about normally? If it takes 15-20 minutes to walk there, presumably you’re only out for a total of an hour. What do you do in other situations when you’re out for that length of time?

Oysterbabe · 17/06/2023 07:09

I think yabu and our school wouldn't allow this.

Lacucuracha · 17/06/2023 07:15

It’s a poorly designed school building if there are no toilets available for visitors.

Lacucuracha · 17/06/2023 07:15

Jesscococolake · 17/06/2023 00:15

Teacher here. No way should adults use children’s toilets , safe guarding ! Children will likely be in school attending clubs or after school .
Unless there is a visitor toilet in the reception you could use - you should not be able to come into the school to use a toilet be it staff or pupil.
You wouldn’t go into a bakery and ask to use their personal toilet to clean a child up or because you were desperate.

Sorrry but it’s inappropriate .

OP hasn’t said she wants to use children’s loos.

BaseDrops · 17/06/2023 07:16

Are you

a) going in to reception and requesting access to a school toilet?

b) going into school and accessing a toilet.

b) is a safe guarding issue.

SBHon · 17/06/2023 07:19

Lacucuracha · 17/06/2023 07:15

It’s a poorly designed school building if there are no toilets available for visitors.

Unless they’re brand new builds then yes, the majority of schools are poorly designed for today’s standards. In lots of different areas, not just the toilets. This isn’t new news.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 17/06/2023 07:21

Of course they can't let random adults in to the school unsupervised.

If there was private loo at reception that would be different.