To ask my husband not to drink and drive at all

[Howgoesthework]

Having had experience of a serious car crash, and with family members with alcohol use disorder, I know I have an issue with alcohol and driving. My husband thinks it’s ok to have a pint (only one) and then with drive our kids in the car. I told him I don’t want him to do this; no alcohol at all when he’s driving, especially with our children in the car, but really all the time, for everyone on the road. I know when he’s had a drink because he slurs. I believe this means the alcohol is affecting him, and therefore he shouldn’t drive. He denies slurring and insists he’s safe after one drink. Even if he is, surely he should respect my feelings here?

Limit should be zero

Yanbu

One pint of beer contains between two and three units of alcohol, depending on strength. It takes approx an hour to metabolise each unit, so it would take your DH about two and a half hours to clear the alcohol completely from his system.
Here in Scotland, the drink drive limit is stricter than England - 50mg per 100ml of blood as opposed to 80mg in England - and one pint would certainly risk putting you over the limit if you drove within the hour.

Yanbu - it's simple, when he has the kids and is driving, no pints. Why does he need alcohol when out with the kids anyways?

Or you could drive when you go places with the kids and alcohol is served (not sure where, a wedding maybe?)

Why is he so desperate to have 'one drink' anyway?

I agree with you. Zero alcohol when driving should be the limit. I know traces of alcohol can be found in medicines etc, but that wouldn't affect capability.

One drink is fine.. but that is a half pint, not a pint.

It’s fine to have one drink then drive, that’s why there’s a limit which is based on evidence.

Call the police the next time he does it, just give them the car registration number and tell them you believe the driver may be over the limit. They will put an alert out and it's likely he will be breathalysed, if he's over the limit he'll lose his licence so your problem is solved.

Limit should be zero
Ridiculous comment because nobody who eats food can guarantee no alcohol is present in their system. Even in countries where the limit is officially zero there is actually a small tolerance because eating fruit for example can create alcohol in your body.

YANBU, I totally agree with you.

I'd agree, no drink at all, especially with kids in car. People react differently to a drink on different days depending on heat, how much they've eaten etc so reaction to one drink may be different on different days.

YANBU, he most definitely should not be driving. If he does do that, ensure the kids are not in the car with him and I’d actually ring the police.

According to the morning after calculator found online it is between 3 and 4 hours after a pint before driving depending on the strength of the beer

YANBU - we have a lower limit in Scotland, which basically means no one risks having a drink if they are going to drive, it is effectively zero alcohol if you plan to drive. I think this is the best approach - saves confusion, saves lives.

Back in my younger years I was in a minor RTC thanks to a driver who'd had just one pint - if he hadn't had anything, we'd likely have not crashed at all.
No harm done, just dented pride and a bit of a shocking repair bill - but half a second quicker reactions would have made it a near miss rather than a collision.

Say no.

She never mentioned desperation. I operate a no drinking when driving policy on the basis that it’s easier to refuse the first drink than the second.

I'd be concerned he is slurring his words after just one pint!

If he is sipping a pint over an hour then driving then it wouldn't bother me in general. If he is necking a pint in minutes then getting straight in the car then YANBU.

I'd say a pint is fine but it's clearly not for him if he's slurring! Are you sure he's not sneaking some extra?

I know I have an issue with alcohol and driving

Actually, no, you don't. You have a sensible attitude. Your dh, in contrast, does have an issue with alcohol and driving.

Any alcohol impairs your driving ability.

@BarryK3nt It’s fine to have one drink then drive, that’s why there’s a limit which is based on evidence.

The limit is not based on evidence that shows it is safe below that limit. The limit is there as we can have trace levels of alcohol from non-alcoholic food and drink.
This link - https://www.irishtimes.com/opinion/letters/drink-driving-and-the-scientific-evidence-1.3148367 - summarises the research that shows impairment well below the UK limits.

I don't think a single beer or a glass of wine, with food would be a problem. What's a bigger problem is slurring after 1 pint. Something doesn't seem like right with that

Personally I think it should be zero, the way it is in Germany.

It won't stop the drunk drivers and the chancers but it'll make the law and the punishment more clearly cut.

Same with drugs, chuck away the keys.

I also think it should be zero - or much closer to it, to allow for the margin of error. I also think that he should be choosing zero for himself when driving the kids.

Imagine if anything happened - how could he forgive himself just thinking that it might have been that “one pint”

Personally I don't drink at all when I drive.

But if my wife did this to me, reported me to the Police for doing something that's not illegal, I'd be finished with her.

YANBU - we have a lower limit in Scotland, which basically means no one risks having a drink if they are going to drive, it is effectively zero alcohol if you plan to drive. I think this is the best approach - saves confusion, saves lives.

An interesting claim from the Institute of Alcohol Studies…

”All estimates reveal that the lower Scottish limit had no impact on any type of road accident, from fatal crashes to collisions involving just slight injuries or drink drive accidents. This evidence holds true for various subgroups of the population (e.g., young men), and whether we consider nights, weekends, and rural or urban areas.”

None for the road: Why lowering drink drive limits didn’t lower road traffic collisions

Personally, I think the OP’s husband should abstain.

It's also fine to go somewhere with your children and not have a pint.