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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my husband not to drink and drive at all

109 replies

Howgoesthework · 14/06/2023 15:22

Having had experience of a serious car crash, and with family members with alcohol use disorder, I know I have an issue with alcohol and driving. My husband thinks it’s ok to have a pint (only one) and then with drive our kids in the car. I told him I don’t want him to do this; no alcohol at all when he’s driving, especially with our children in the car, but really all the time, for everyone on the road. I know when he’s had a drink because he slurs. I believe this means the alcohol is affecting him, and therefore he shouldn’t drive. He denies slurring and insists he’s safe after one drink. Even if he is, surely he should respect my feelings here?

OP posts:
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Megifer · 14/06/2023 19:14

FromEden · 14/06/2023 18:04

Would people really report their own husband to the police and risk possibly ruining his career etc over 1 pint? That's a bit ott tbh. Do you even like your husband's if you would do that?!

If hes drinking that much that much that his speech is slurred/unclear?

Well, Id value my kids safety more than his desire to drink to excess when driving, so if he refused to stop doing that yes I would. What an odd question.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 14/06/2023 20:47

If he's slurring he's likely had far beyond one pint... I don't slur until the third or fourth and I'm 5'4 and 130lb!

PuddlesPityParty · 14/06/2023 21:29

Howgoesthework · 14/06/2023 18:14

No, DiscoBeat, I didn't 'admit' I was exaggerating. I said that it was noticeable to me, perhaps not to everyone, so if for example you chatted with him, not knowing him, you might not notice, but it certainly is true.

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Have you had a drink? Thinking you’re going to smart adding a username but putting the wrong one 🙃 it reads as basically saying you over egged it a bit, OP. It’s fine if you did, still your truth. And for what’s it’s worth I wouldn’t want him to drive with kids in the car after one pint either. But hyperbolic descriptions of a man slurring all his words after one beer is not the way to start the discussion about it with your husband so I suggest toning it down a bit, Howgoesthework.

PuddlesPityParty · 14/06/2023 21:30

PuddlesPityParty · 14/06/2023 21:29

Have you had a drink? Thinking you’re going to smart adding a username but putting the wrong one 🙃 it reads as basically saying you over egged it a bit, OP. It’s fine if you did, still your truth. And for what’s it’s worth I wouldn’t want him to drive with kids in the car after one pint either. But hyperbolic descriptions of a man slurring all his words after one beer is not the way to start the discussion about it with your husband so I suggest toning it down a bit, Howgoesthework.

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*sound

PuddlesPityParty · 14/06/2023 21:31

Howgoesthework · 14/06/2023 16:26

It's probably not so much that most people would notice anything amiss, but I guess after years together you notice small changes in your partner's behaviour. It's not like he's unable to talk, just that he speaks less clearly, so maybe slurring is an exaggeration.

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Also you literally said it was an exaggeration here so calm yourself down a bit maybe.

Original poster
Howgoesthework · 14/06/2023 22:10

PuddlesPityParty · 14/06/2023 21:31

Also you literally said it was an exaggeration here so calm yourself down a bit maybe.

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PuddlesPityParty - Mumsnet Madness right there. Honestly, I do wonder with this kind of post whether you're a troll or just an unpleasant person. So many great helpful thoughtful replies, and so I'm not going to waste any more time on yours, whic is the opposite. Do your worst, if it makes you feel good 🙄

OP posts:
PuddlesPityParty · 14/06/2023 22:29

Howgoesthework · 14/06/2023 22:10

PuddlesPityParty - Mumsnet Madness right there. Honestly, I do wonder with this kind of post whether you're a troll or just an unpleasant person. So many great helpful thoughtful replies, and so I'm not going to waste any more time on yours, whic is the opposite. Do your worst, if it makes you feel good 🙄

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You wrote the words right there and then tried to deny it. And like I said in the last post - I agree with you about the having a drink then driving the kids but you’re being quite hyperbolic it would seem.

I’ve not actually said anything bad to you, I repeated what you had written but then you decided to backtrack on the comment 🤷‍♀️ but if you think I did sorry to have offended you, I don’t see my message as bad just my honest opinion - which is what mumsnet is for is it not? I would say your reply has been ruder, nastiness aimed and my personality and a better example of “mumsnet madness” all because I didn’t agree with your use of exaggerated language …. Sad

Original poster
Howgoesthework · 15/06/2023 07:42

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 14/06/2023 23:06

Do you have a 30cm ruler?

Ask him to try this, before and after a pint: https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/guides/zg6xdxs/revision/3

Great idea, thank you.

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